5 Ways to Protect Your Child from the Negative Effects of Divorce

Remember that morning you sent your child off to school, kissed their cheek, and promised to protect them from all harm? Now, you find yourself in the eye of the divorce storm, grappling with the question, “What will this mean for my child?” The grim reality is that 50% of American marriages end in divorce, leaving countless children caught in the crossfire. But what if there was a different path? One that shielded your child from the brunt of the storm? 

The Triple-Edged Problem of Divorce
Divorce isn’t just about the legal dissolution of marriage. For children, it’s a three-fold problem. Firstly, there’s the disruption of their daily routines, changes in living arrangements, and even potential school shifts. Next comes the emotional distress and confusion they experience, as the stability they’ve known is pulled from under their feet. Lastly, there’s the seeming injustice of inflicting pain on the innocent bystanders in the crossfire – our children. But it doesn’t have to be this way. 

5 Ways to Mitigate the Effects of Divorce on Children
As a divorce mediator with more than three decades of experience. I’ve witnessed the struggle firsthand and dedicated my life to easing the process for families. Here are five critical points I’ve learned about mitigating the effects of divorce on children. 

1. Encourage Open Communication
In the midst of a divorce, it’s essential to foster a space where open communication is not only encouraged but welcomed. Recent statistics underscore the importance of this, showing that children who are able to express their feelings regarding the divorce generally fare better emotionally. The upheaval that accompanies this life-altering event can be made more manageable when they are assured their voices are heard. 

Be sure to answer their questions with honesty, addressing their concerns without concealing the reality of the situation. Simultaneously, offer them a steady foundation of reassurance. Remind them that despite the changes that are unfolding, your love for them remains unchanging. This nurturing environment of open dialogue can prove invaluable in helping your child navigate the emotional waters of divorce. 

2. Co-Parenting Matters
According to the American Psychological Association, children with a healthy relationship with both parents adjust better post-divorce. As parents, it’s crucial to set aside personal differences, maintain civility, and uphold mutual respect when interacting with each other. This isn’t solely for the sake of appearances; it’s a key step in ensuring your children’s well-being during the transition. Nurturing these relationships and promoting a cooperative co-parenting environment can make a significant difference in your child’s post-divorce adjustment. 

3. Stick to Routines
During the turbulent times of divorce, the comfort of routines can provide an invaluable sense of security to your child. Familiar habits, from the simple morning rituals to the bedtime stories, offer consistency in a world that might seem suddenly unstable to them. These routines act as anchor points in their day, offering reassurance that not everything in their life is changing. Therefore, strive to keep any disruptions to these routines at a bare minimum. Maintaining consistency, while managing the necessary shifts, can help provide your child with a much-needed sense of stability and normalcy amidst the changes that divorce brings.

4. Don’t Shy Away from Professional Help
When faced with the emotional tumult of divorce, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors are trained to guide individuals, especially children, through the complexities of their feelings. They can offer your child a safe, neutral space to express their emotions freely, without the fear of judgment or misunderstanding. 

This external perspective can be instrumental in helping them understand and navigate their emotional journey during this challenging time. It can allow them to voice their fears, their confusion, and their pain, paving the way for healing and adjustment. Engaging professional help can be a valuable step in ensuring your child’s emotional well-being during and after the divorce process. 

5. Consider Divorce Mediation
As you navigate the landscape of divorce, it’s worth considering the route of mediation. It’s not just an alternative to the traditional legal process; it’s a pathway that fosters communication, compromise, and mutual respect. Renowned psychologist Robert Emery, Ph.D., underscores this in his research, which shows that mediation can lead to improved long-term co-parenting relationships and significantly reduced conflict. This, in turn, fosters a healthier, more stable environment for your children to thrive in. 

Instead of being caught in the crossfire of contention, they can grow in a space of understanding and cooperation. Therefore, exploring the option of divorce mediation could be a significant step towards preserving your child’s well-being through the divorce process and beyond.

What Now?
Picture this: a year from now, your child, smiling, thriving, secure in the knowledge that their parents, despite their differences, have prioritized their well-being. This future is possible. Divorce doesn’t have to shatter your child’s world.

Take control today. Explore how divorce mediation can provide a smoother transition for your family, focusing on what matters most – your child’s wellbeing.

Don’t let fear or uncertainty hold you back. Reach out today and discover how mediation can provide a constructive, compassionate pathway through divorce. Because your child deserves no less

Steven Unruh is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He completes the entire divorce process along with all the documentation. He files in 13 different courthouse throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com.