Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT
President, LA-CAMFT

National PTSD Awareness Month

National PTSD Awareness Month serves as a crucial reminder of the impact of trauma on individuals and communities. It's a time to raise awareness about the prevalence of PTSD and the importance of understanding and support for those affected. Through education and outreach, we can help reduce the stigma surrounding PTSD and encourage more people to seek help and treatment. 

Finding one's strength in the face of PTSD is a deeply personal journey. It involves acknowledging the pain and struggles caused by trauma while also recognizing the resilience and inner resources that can lead to healing and growth. Whether through therapy, support groups, or self-care practices, individuals can discover their own unique path to recovery and reclaim a sense of agency over their lives. 

It's also essential to recognize that finding strength doesn't mean overcoming PTSD alone. Building a support network of friends, family, and professionals can provide invaluable assistance and validation along the way. By fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, we can create a safer and more compassionate environment for those living with PTSD to thrive and find their strength. Be kind to yourself and stay strong.

Warmly, 

Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT

Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT, is Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She’s always had a passion for psychology and going on the therapeutic journey with her clients reminds her of this every day. She has a wide array of clinical experience ranging from working with children in an educational setting to those suffering from dementia to individual work in several group, private practices where age holds no boundaries. She has an M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Jennifer applies a person-centered approach when working with clients, as she believes that a “one size fits all” approach simply won’t cut it.

Friday, June 21, 2024
9:00 am-11:00 am

11:00-11:30 am (optional) —
Participant Announcements

Via Zoom

2 CE Credits

Basics of Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI)

Angela Caldwell, LMFT & Jessica Tang, LMFT

Therapists are reporting an alarming rise in cases of self-injury. Unfortunately, there is an abundance of confusing and misleading information that only makes it more difficult for clinicians to understand how to distinguish Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI) from other clinical presentations. Therapists can better serve their clients if they can identify the typical clinical presentation of NSSI, understand the difference between borderline and non-borderline NSSI, and are up to date on what recent literature is saying about prevalence, correlations, and trends in NSSI. This presentation provides a sophisticated, clinical lens through which to understand the nature and etiology of this behavior, while offering recommendations on how to avoid common treatment failures and work effectively and confidently with Non-Suicidal Self-Injury when it shows up in the room.

For more information, contact Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT.

For:
LA-CAMFT Members, Prelicensed Associates and Students, Trainees, Associates, Interns and Non-Members.

Event Details: Friday, June 21, 2024, 9:00-11:00 am

Where: Online Vis Zoom

Cost:
LA-CAMFT Member: $25
LA-CAMFT Prelicensed Member: $15
Non-Member: $35

(To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add specialeventschair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)

Registration closes on Thursday, June 20, 2024, at 10:00 pm

Getting Paid: The Power of Specializing and Identifying Your Niche in Private Practice

Standing Out in Today’s Market
In today's marketplace, generic approaches most often get lost in the noise. Having a niche, and knowing what it is, allows a therapist to carve out a distinct identity and differentiate their practice from others in their local area and in the profession.

By identifying and specializing in a particular area of expertise—whether it's trauma therapy, working with children or teens, couples counseling, or mindfulness-based interventions—a therapist positions themself as a go-to authority in their area of practice. Also, today, potential clients are more likely to seek out specialists for their unique psychotherapy needs, making it easier for people to find and choose you and the services you provide.

Establish Your Expertise and Credibility
Specializing in a niche solidifies a therapist’s reputation as an expert or a professional with knowledge and experience in their chosen area. Clients are drawn to practitioners who demonstrate deep knowledge and experience in addressing their specific concerns—ADHD, LGBTQIA+, Multi-racial, Pre-natal, Chronic Illness, etc.

By honing your skills and staying abreast of the latest developments in your therapeutic niche, you build trust and credibility with both clients, colleagues, job recruiters, and referral sources. This expertise not only attracts more clients to your practice but also helps you fosters a sense of confidence and satisfaction in your work as a therapist.

Reduce the Likelihood of Burnout
One of the greatest challenges facing private practice owners is the risk of burnout. Working with a diverse range of clients with varying needs and issues can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. Having a niche allows therapists to focus their energy and resources on serving a specific population that aligns with their interests and strengths. By working primarily with clients who fit within a therapist’s niche, a therapist can reduce the likelihood of experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout.

Attract Your Ideal Clients
When a therapist specializes in a niche, the therapist attracts clients who are a better fit for their practice and therapeutic approach. These "ideal clients" are more likely to be motivated, engaged, and receptive to the therapist’s interventions. By working with clients who resonate with your niche as a therapist, you create a more fulfilling and effective therapeutic experience for you and your clients. This alignment leads to better outcomes, increased client satisfaction, and stronger therapeutic relationships.

Enhancing Referral Networks
Having a niche or specialty makes it easier to establish and maintain referral networks with other professionals in your field. When colleagues know exactly what type of clients you specialize in, they're more likely to refer suitable clients or job opportunities your way. This targeted approach to networking not only generates more referrals but also strengthens collaborative relationships with other practitioners and related professionals. As a result, the therapist becomes an integral part of a supportive network of professionals who are aware of and sensitive to your passion and vision.

Conclusion
In the realm of private practice, having a niche isn't just a luxury; it's a strategic advantage. Specializing in a specific area of expertise allows a therapist to stand out in the marketplace, establishes the therapist as an expert, as well as attracts their most ideal clients, and reduces their risk of burnout.

When therapists focus their efforts on a niche that aligns with their interests and strengths, they are more likely to create a thriving practice that not only meets the needs of their clients but also nourishes the therapist’s own well-being and professional fulfillment.

Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visit www.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.

Navigating the Complex Landscape of Gray Divorce: Understanding the Phenomenon and Its Implications

Recently I talked to a friend I hadn’t seen since pre-covid days. Upon reconnecting I learned that she and her husband had divorced. I was shocked and saddened to hear this. They met in college and were together for 48 years. They have 2 adult children and seemed happy when we spent a weekend together in October 2019. The thought of my friend and her husband calling it quits after a lifetime together really got me thinking and reading about this phenomenon called gray divorce.

The phenomenon of gray divorce has become increasingly prevalent, reflecting a significant shift in societal norms and values surrounding long-term relationships. The term refers to couples who are 50 years or older and choose to dissolve their marriages, often after decades of being together. This trend has more than doubled over the last decade: going from 4.87% to 10.05%, while the divorce rate for younger couples has decreased by 1% going from 19% to 17.9%. This shift raises questions about the evolving dynamics of marriage, personal fulfillment, and the challenges faced by older adults embarking on a new chapter of their lives.

The increase in gray divorces can be attributed to several interrelated factors. First, the cultural landscape surrounding divorce has evolved, with no-fault divorce laws making separation more socially acceptable. However, simply attributing the rise in gray divorces to legal permissibility overlooks deeper societal shifts, particularly since the divorce rate of younger couples has decreased. 

Looking deeper, two other variables become apparent. As people live longer, often into their 80s and beyond, the prospect of spending decades in an unfulfilling marriage becomes less tolerable. In the 1950s the average life expectancy in the United States was 68.2 years and as of 2022 it had increased to 78.8 years.  

During this same timeframe our society has embraced an emphasis on personal growth and fulfillment, further reinforces the notion that staying in a stagnant relationship is no longer a necessity.

While the reasons for gray divorces mirror those of younger couples—infidelity, financial disagreements, communication issues, and evolving priorities—the consequences can be more profound. Many couples delay divorce until their children are grown and out of the house, only to find themselves facing the reality of a relationship that has lost its spark. The transition from being parents to empty nesters can unearth fundamental differences and lead to a reassessment of the relationship. The couple may find that they no longer have anything in common. I saw this firsthand when my kids were graduating from high school.

The school they attend had a community group session for parents of the graduating class. In this group the parents were encouraged to process their feelings about their children leaving home. At least 10% of the parents expressed fear of being ‘just the two’ of them again. They no longer saw themselves as a couple or even friends, but just as co-parents.

The research has also found that there is a gray ‘divorce penalty’ that is gender specific. Women often experience an economic penalty, as they may have lower earnings and reduced Social Security benefits compared to men.

On the other hand, men pay a toll socially, particularly if their friendships revolved around couple-based activities. Older men may golf, go to baseball games, or discuss investing with their friends but their wives are often their primary sources of emotional support. Additionally, the dynamics of parent-child relationships can shift, with mothers typically maintaining closer ties to adult children, leaving fathers feeling disconnected.

The woman’s relationship with their adult children tends to be stronger because so often the wife was the primary caretaker when the children were little and this bond and caretaking continued through adolescence, college and beyond. Sadly, this means that the divorcing father has less connection and support from his adult kids. This is even more apparent when it comes to father-daughter relationships. Daughters often identify more with their mothers, making a wedge between their relationship with their dads.

The emotional toll of gray divorce is significant, encompassing grief over the loss of the marriage, dashed hopes for the future, the disruption of family dynamics, and the lost hope of happily ever after. Mental and physical health can also suffer, especially for those who do not enter new relationships post-divorce. However, amidst the challenges lie opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Both parties have the chance to rebuild their lives according to their own aspirations, fostering independence and resilience in the process.

As therapists, it is crucial to support clients considering gray divorce by facilitating a comprehensive evaluation of the pros and cons. This includes examining the financial and social implications, as well as the potential impact on family relationships and emotional well-being. Therapy can offer a space for couples to explore whether their issues can be resolved through counseling or if divorce is the best path forward. Ultimately, by providing guidance and support, therapists can help individuals navigate the complexities of gray divorce and transition into a new chapter of their lives with confidence and clarity.

Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com.

Feelings Explored:
A Woman's Roadmap to Emotional Resilience

Pushing Feelings Away

A common coping mechanism when confronted with challenging emotions is the tendency to push them away. This is often seen as a defense mechanism, a way to avoid discomfort. However, it's essential to realize that suppressing your feelings does not make them disappear.

Instead, they tend to fester beneath the surface, causing more significant pain over time. It’s possible to behave harshly without appreciating why because what sets you off are denied feelings. You can push feelings out of your awareness but not out of your psyche.

The key here is to explore and acknowledge your emotions. Understand that it's okay to feel vulnerable at times and recognize that these emotions are a natural part of being human. Then you can work them through, remain realistic in the world, and not act out what’s is suppressed in you.

Judging Feelings

Feelings are neither intrinsically good nor bad; they are simply part of the human experience. It's all too easy to harshly judge ourselves when we experience certain emotions, labeling them as weaknesses or inadequacies. But it's vital to remember that feelings are a natural aspect of your humanity. Rather than judging these emotions, strive to understand where they originate and what they can teach you about yourself.

For example, you can have dreams that demonstrate rage and a desire to attack and destroy people, or a person. That kind of dream doesn’t mean you are an evil person. It often means you have been avoiding getting rid of nonessentials in your life. It could mean cleaning out your closets or shelves or getting rid of bulky furniture that no longer serves you. Yes, it could mean moving to another home or another part of the country. Your rage is rallying your energy to stop postponing an action you need to take to care for yourself well.

Being a Victim of Your Feelings

Feeling victimized by your emotions can be a common response to your feelings, particularly when dealing with anxiety and self-esteem issues. This mindset disempowers you, making it challenging to respond to your feelings in a healthy way. A critical shift is needed, where you realize you have the capacity to influence your emotional state positively. You are not at the mercy of your feelings; you can learn to respond to them effectively.

If you feel a desire to hide then articulate what you are hiding from and the dangers you might face if you emerged. Then imagine someone who can deal with those dangers. And then imagine that person is your teacher or actually is you.

Blaming Others for Your Feelings

Another common response to emotions is to attribute them to external sources. Blaming others for your feelings can be detrimental, causing strain in relationships and inhibiting personal growth. While external events may influence your emotions, your response to them ultimately rests within your control.

Some people can give you a disapproving look, and you feel anxious, even worthless, and about to crumble. Yet others can give you a disapproving look, and you don’t care. It’s not the disapproving look that brings up your response.

It’s how you experience it within yourself. Usually, we respond to another’s real or imagined criticism because we agree with it. So rather than blame the other person we need to examine our own negative self-perceptions.

Allowing Feelings to Be What They Are with No Judgment

A fundamental step toward emotional growth is allowing your feelings to exist without judgment. This shift in perspective involves viewing your emotions as valuable signals rather than burdens. Create a non-judgmental space within yourself for these feelings to coexist.

Thich Nhat Han said, “Hello, my little anger.” He offers his anger a chair and invites his anger to join him. You have the capacity to experience many feelings including conflicting feelings because you are human. Simply sitting with them for a while with no action or judgement can help you understand your experience.

Feeling Them Fully

Experiencing your emotions fully allows you to learn, heal, and grow. This means facing them without suppression or avoidance. Regardless of whether you're grappling with anxiety, self-doubt, or any other emotion, it's essential to confront and even welcome them with an open heart and mind. These emotions offer insights into your inner world.

Allowing Feelings to Fill You, Regardless of What They Are

As you embrace your emotions fully, prepare to let them fill you, irrespective of their nature. Each emotion serves a purpose, and acknowledging it provides an opportunity for personal insight and growth. By feeling your emotions deeply, you can forge a more profound connection with yourself. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you have to do something.

Developing the inner strength to feel fully while remaining calm allows you to stay present for reality or reach a closer connection to reality. If you can feel and not act out you will not color your world with the brush of your emotions. You will not eliminate other possibilities and other perspectives. You will be wiser, have more inner resilience, and discover more that exists outside of your own ability to perceive.

Keeping Your Mind and Heart Open While You Feel What You Feel

Exploring your emotions requires an open mind and heart. Negative thought patterns can be alluring. It feels so good to be right. It feels so good to leap to assumptions and feel self-righteous. But, maintaining an open and curious mindset fosters self-discovery.

Feelings are transient experiences that provide glimpses into your inner self. If you don’t hold them and act out you may let a transient experience force you into dealing with long-lasting consequences that might become major problems.

Staying with Your Feelings

Instead of fleeing from discomfort, learn to stay with your feelings. This skill is especially important in managing anxiety and self-esteem issues. By remaining present with your emotions, you can uncover their root causes and work through them, ultimately fostering personal growth. And even if you can’t, because this power develops over time, you still receive benefits from staying with your feelings.

You learn you can remain present. You learn that you can watch the shifts that happen within you and that they change. You can choose to act when your mind is not crushed by what you feel. Taking action when you can feel and think at the same time is where you find your wisdom.

Breathing Through Your Feelings

Breathing techniques offer valuable support during emotional turmoil. Deep, intentional breaths can help you stay present and prevent feelings from becoming overwhelming. When anxiety or self-esteem issues loom large, remember to breathe through the storm.

Trusting Yourself and Your Feelings

Trust serves as the foundation of self-acceptance and emotional growth. Begin by trusting yourself and your feelings. Your emotions are genuine and valid, representing an integral part of your journey. Believe in your ability to navigate your inner world and emerge stronger.

Journaling and Discussing with Your Psychotherapist What You Experienced, Including New Perspectives

Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection. It can help you make sense of your emotions, identify patterns, and gain fresh insights. For intelligent, well-educated women grappling with anxiety and self-esteem issues, discussing these journal entries with a psychotherapist can provide invaluable guidance and perspective.

The journey of exploring, learning, and growing through your feelings is deeply personal. It demands courage, self-compassion, and a commitment to self-improvement. By addressing common issues such as pushing feelings away, judging them, playing the victim, and blaming others, you can embark on a transformative path toward emotional well-being and a more fulfilling life.

Remember that your feelings, even anxiety and self-esteem issues, are part of your unique story, offering valuable opportunities for self-discovery and growth. By applying these techniques, you can initiate a transformative journey toward emotional well-being and a more fulfilling life.

Plus, you don’t have to suffer the consequences of taking quick action based on a fleeting feeling, no matter how intense. You can bear what you feel and let the feeling pass through you, leaving your status quo intact. You won't have a mess to clean up. You will have more understanding, more awareness, and greater resilience.

Joanna Poppink, LMFT, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder, is in private practice and specializes in Eating Disorder Recovery for adult women and with an emphasis on building a fulfilling life beyond recovery. She is licensed in California, Florida, Oregon, and Utah. All appointments are virtual. Website: EatingDisorderRecovery.net

LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
Presents:

Black Therapist Support Group

Second Monday of the Month

Next Meeting:
Monday, June 10, 2024
6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)

Online Via Zoom

Black Therapist Support Group

A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space be the support needed to facilitate that journey.

Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

Second Monday of the Month

Location: Zoom Meeting

For more information contact Stara Shakti, LMFT at DiversityCommittee@lacamft.org.

Event Details: 

For:
Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

Event Details: 
Monday, June 10, 2024
6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)Time of Check-In: 5:50 am

Where: 
Online Via Zoom

Once you have registered for the presentation, we will email you a link to Zoom a few days before the presentation.

Cost:

No Charge

Online Registration CLOSES on the date of the event.

(Registration is open and available until the group ends.)

Questions about Registration? Contact  Diversity Committee, diversitycommittee@lacamft.org.

Register Here

Pronouns and Names

Why we say pronouns and names versus preferred names and preferred gender pronouns

The word preference invalidates the reality of our identities. It communicates it is not who the person is. It equates our reality, identity, and existence to be something that we favour versus validating this is who we are.

Saying preferred gender pronoun is problematic because not all people identify as a gender and it completely erases their identity.

Therefore, it is vital to say pronoun(s), not gender pronoun and/or preferred gender pronoun.

If you are in a position that you truly need to know someone’s legally assigned name and/or legally assigned gender marker then that is how you can ask the question.

What is your legally assigned name?

What is your legally assigned gender marker?

This communicates that you recognize, validate and affirm that the name and/or gender marker are not indicative of the person and/or their identity(ies) but a part of what societal constructs have imposed on the person.

You do not need someone’s gender marker to know their pronouns and/or their identity.

You may need their gender marker for insurance purposes when billing.

You do not need to know someone’s legally assigned name to perform an assessment and/or to get to know them.

You may need their legally assigned name if you are required to have legal record/documentation.

Please ask yourself, do I really need to know the person’s legally assigned name and/or gender marker or am I just satiating my own curiosity.

Please be affirming, supporting, validating, understanding and patient.

When the wrong name and/or pronoun is used the impact can be deadly, be cautious with what you do with the information that is shared with you and handle with care.

Van Ethan Levy, MA, LMFT, LPCC, (they) (elle), a trans and non binary therapist, is a queer, non binary, trans, socialized as female, nBPOC (not Black Person of Color), who is autistic, and has dynamic disabilities amongst many more historically excluded identities. Van provides consultations and trainings on trans and non binary identities, is the organizer of the 2022 Virtual International Do Something: Identity(ies) Conference, authored the interactive book, Exploring My Identity(ies), and produced the Documentary, Do Something: Trans & Non Binary Identities, Website: VanEthanLevy.com.

The Top 3 Rules for Making Money!

"In any business, there are jobs that are productive and sometimes confrontational, for they test you. And then there is all the other work, none of which earns any money.”

 — Stuart Wilde

If you are in business for yourself, it is easy to let work fill every waking hour of your life. The problem is it becomes a habit. It’s what your mind tells you is necessary for your business survival. Then fear of financial insecurity runs your business and your business starts running you.

But that isn’t what you want! You want time to play, to paint, play golf, enjoy your children, have fabulous vacations!

You can have all that and here’s how: spend your time on the money-making activities of your business and outsource all the administrivia.

There are three rules for making money in business:

1. Do what makes money now. Can you pick up the phone today, make a call, make a sale and get money right now? Can you have a discount sale this weekend and have cash that day? Actual time working with a client falls under this category, along with sales.

2. Do what makes money soon. These are marketing activities that don’t directly produce income now, but produce contacts that will produce money soon. These are networking activities, newsletters, and emails that are going to produce money eventually, but not necessarily today. (Please note: marketing is not selling. See number 1.)

3. Do what makes money later. Some of your bigger sales will take longer to close. Big ships sail slower. Corporate sales may take months to close whereas you can close an individual client in a day. It took four years from my first idea before “The Wealthy Spirit” was published. I had to make sure I still did #1 activities while I was writing.

But in any case—do what makes money first!

Every other business activity is administrivia and can be put off, delegated, boiler-plated, streamlined, and otherwise made efficient and fast.

Administrivia is the biggest time waster. The real reason—the hidden reason—we love to shuffle our papers is because it makes us feel like we are working, when really we are avoiding.

So the way we spend our work time actually breaks down like this:

A. Time spent doing things that make money

B. Time spent doing things that cost money

C. Time spent doing things that make you feel like you’re working but are really an avoidance of A.

What we are avoiding is the real work of the business—no, not the delivery of the product or service—we adore that part! That’s what we’re in business to do and why we started our business in the first place.

But we won’t have anyone to serve unless we do the most difficult and confrontational part of the business: We have to find prospects and sell them our products or services.

Sales is the hard part—the confrontational part—of business. We don’t always like that so much. But that’s where the money is.

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.