Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


Voices — March 2025

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  • 02/27/2025 2:41 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    President's Message

    Akiah Selwa, LMFT
    LA-CAMFT President

    The Importance of the TOC Mentorship Program

    As we prepare to embrace the second quarter of this year and extend our celebration of Women's History Month, I would like to reflect on the topic of mentorship. I had the honor of interviewing a woman who, along with her team of women, is making history in LA-CAMFT. This person is Keonna Robinson, LMFT, the chairwoman for the TOC Mentorship Program and Board Member At Large of LA-CAMFT. I asked Keonna her thoughts on the importance of the TOC Mentorship Program, and she shared the following with me:

    "Mentorship offers people of color the chance to see themselves reflected in successful individuals who share similar backgrounds. Having mentors who have traversed similar paths provides critical role models, showcasing that success is attainable and offering a blueprint for navigating systemic challenges. I have personally found that mentors can provide guidance on how to navigate systemic challenges across various environments, share strategies to overcome career obstacles and offer insights gained from their own experiences. Our TOC mentors provide a safe reflective space for mentees to seek advice and advocate for their needs."

    I couldn't agree more! Take a moment to reflect on the formal and informal mentors you have had in your life. I am forever grateful for the women and men who invested in me as mentors. Mentors who shared similar backgrounds and possessed a deep understanding of my experiences as a woman of color had a significantly greater impact on me. With this in mind, I asked Keonna a second question, “What sparked your interest in continuing the development of the TOC Mentorship Program that the Diversity Committee of LA-CAMFT started in 2022?

    Keonna replied: "What ignited my passion was my own experience of insufficient support and the microaggressions I encountered from clients and colleagues. Although I tapped into my intrinsic resilience and perseverance during those times, lacking a safe person to validate my experiences and offer sound guidance on how to navigate each situation was challenging. I felt fortunate to discover a sense of community within the LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee, which inspired me to seek opportunities to give back as a mentor. I strive to create the supportive space that I did not have during those difficult moments faced by therapists of color in this field." I am proud of the fact that LA-CAMFT’s Diversity Committee initiated a means to addressing the issue of lack of representation and support for therapists of color by starting the TOC Mentorship Program.

    I hope this article ignites conversations supporting mentorship programs like the TOC Mentorship Program and increases interest in becoming a mentor or mentee of the TOC Mentorship Program or other programs.  Mentorship is about passing down a legacy to the next generation.  I urge all of our members to not overlook or minimize the importance of seeking ways to facilitate equitable practices and programming so that everyone, especially folx from our marginalized communities have an opportunity to inherit wisdom, knowledge, and connections from their mentors too.

    To learn more about Keonna Robinson, LMFT, and our TOC Mentorship Program please check out a link below to the TOC Mentorship Program page on our website. The TOC mentorship program will be accepting applications for mentees until the end of April.

    LA-CAMFT’s Diversity Committee’s TOC Mentorship Program: https://www.lacamft.org/Voices-November-2022/12969209

    Akiah T. R. Selwa, LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a great sense of humor, a heart full of hope, and twenty-three years of experience as a psychotherapist. Akiah is the owner of Sunrise Therapy Center (STC) a private practice corporation that services all of California via a telehealth platform. Akiah approaches her work with cultural humility and humor that promotes acceptance, empowerment, spirituality, and creativity. Akiah will complete Somatic Experiencing training in 2025 with Somatic Experiencing International, is a certified SoulCollage® Facilitator (2024), and a currently in a two-year Spiritual Direction program with Stillpoint. When Akiah is not working as a therapist, she is a mixed media artist, having fun with my next crochet project, singing, or exploring nature.

  • 02/27/2025 2:40 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    Annual Law and Ethics Workshop

    Sunday, March 16, 2025
    9:00am-4:00pm

    Online Via Zoom

    6 CE Credits

    (Meets BBS requirements for mandatory 6 CEs/Ethical Education and 3 hours of Law & Ethics coursework for pre-licensed renewal.)

    What is Out of Bounds? Legal and Ethical Boundaries in Mental Health Care

    with Curt Widhalm, LMFT

    Licensing board and ethics complaints involving boundary violations account for 20-40% of investigations. This workshop explores the ways in which therapists can potentially violate therapeutic boundaries. Beyond sexual relationships, this workshop also investigates the boundaries that can occur in supervisor-supervisee and educator-student relationships. Further, this workshop also provides guidance on how therapists can set and maintain boundaries for crisis situations in both individual and team settings.

    Educational Goals/Learning Objectives:

    This workshop is intended for licensed and pre-licensed master’s level therapists with beginner-to-advanced experience to cover professional boundaries, identify vulnerabilities to boundary violations, and make informed decisions to set and maintain boundaries in their professional work.

    At the end of this presentation, participants will be able to:

    1. Describe three types of boundary incursions.
    2. Analyze the impacts of five types of boundary damage.
    3. Formulate three boundaries for handling client crisis.
    4. Evaluate boundary violations in two case studies.  
    5. Contrast two ways that boundary violations can occur in technology and social media.
    6. List three laws for therapists newly effective in 2025.
    Presenter:

    Curt Widhalm, LMFT (he/him) is the owner of Real Honest Therapy in Encino and West Los Angeles that specializes in working with teenagers and provides EMDR and comprehensive DBT. He is the Chair of the CAMFT Ethics Committee and a former lecturer at California State University Northridge where he taught Law & Ethics in the MFT program. Curt is also the co-host of “The Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide” podcast.

    For more information, contact Course Organizer/CE Networking Chair Alexandra Levins-Trail.

    Event Details:

    For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, Students, & Related Professionals

    When: Sunday, March 16, 2025 from 9:00am-4:00pm

    (Check-In 8:45am; includes two 15-minute breaks and a 30-minute lunch break)

    WhereOnline via Zoom (Your registration confirmation email will include the Zoom link and instructions for accessing the event. A reminder email will be sent prior to the event.)

    Cost:
    $85 for LA-CAMFT Members /  Other CAMFT Chapter Members
    $85 for CSCSW Members
    $35 Prelicensed Member / Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members
    $100 for Non-Members
    $50 for Prelicensed Non-Members

    *Registration closes Thursday, March 15 at 10:00pm.*

    (To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add networkingchair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)

    Register online today! We look forward to seeing you on Zoom.

    CAMFT Approved Continuing Education Provider 59450. LA-CAMFT is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs. LA-CAMFT maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.

    This course meets the qualifications for 6 continuing education credits for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.

    To receive CE certificate: Participants must sign in/sign out, and must complete an evaluation form upon course completion. For a Course Schedule, please contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

    Refund policy: 48-hour notice required for refund of fee minus $5.00 administrative cost. Exceptions can be made for 48-hour notice in cases of emergency. Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

    Accommodations for Special Needs: Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

    Grievances: Program Administrator/CFO manages all grievances—and will acknowledge, investigate and remedy grievances. Response to grievances will be made in writing within 30 days. Contact them at cfo@lacamft.org.


  • 02/27/2025 2:39 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)
    Editor's Note

    Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT
    Voices Editor

    Getting Paid: Are You Spending Enough Time Doing Things To Build Your Practice & Add To Your Income?

    When was the last time you measured the total number of hours you spent on practice building—income, referral source, client generation, and income generating projects?

    Are you spending enough time each week doing things that build your practice, add to your income, and ensure that your practice is sustainable?

    I’m sure it won’t surprise you to find out that when the majority of clinicians start their private practice, at first, we spend A LOT of time, energy, and attention on client, income, and referral source generation.

    However, once things are in place, these very same counselors seem to end up spending the bulk of their time doing all those things that keep the practice running—seeing clients, making intake calls, answering the phone, responding to emails and texts, making appointments, writing client notes, doing the books, filing taxes, etc.—and then find that they are only spending a small amount of time on practice building and new income generation—networking, marketing, speaking, being active in their professional association, and more.

    While doing these everyday things does keep the practice going, those are hours spent on practice functions not on business and practice building activities.

    Practice and business building activities and hours are those spent gaining more business opportunities, clients, referral sources, and income.

    To be profitable and sustainable, a successful private practice needs both business and practice building hours as well as hours that function to keep the practice going.

    As you can see, you’ll won’t ever have the practice you desire if you don’t spend enough time building the next iteration of it.

    Think it might be a good time for you to look at your schedule and adjust it in relation to your practice needs and goals?

    To do that, ask yourself these two questions:

    1. Am I stuck spending too much of my time in the day-to-day functions of my practice?
    2. Am I spending enough time each week in building and working towards the new things needed for my practice to thrive and sustain itself? Things like better marketing, branding, networking, writing a blog or newsletter, social media posting, a new money-making project, or more?

    I encourage you to look at your practice and business building hours and compare them to the hours you spend running and maintaining your practice—the practice function hours–and see if it makes sense to you to make an adjustment.

    Then do it and see what happens.

    Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visiwww.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.

  • 02/27/2025 2:31 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)
    Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program

    Mentors Can Now Apply + Exciting New Updates!

    Keonna Robinson, LMFT

    Wow! What a year we’ve had thus far. Communities across the globe have been rattled from unforeseen and devastating disasters and tragedies. The TOC Mentorship Program Committee sends our hopes and prayers that our therapist of color community, along with your families and clients, are safe and have been able to receive aid following the Eaton and Palisades fires. We hope that recovery efforts commence swiftly as you begin to rebuild and heal.

    As communities across the Greater Los Angeles area continue to recover, our committee remains dedicated to supporting our colleagues by providing much-needed mentorship during these challenging times as we prepare for our fifth cohort starting June 1, 2025. In the meantime, let me share a bit about what we’ve been up to and what’s ahead. 

    Our 4th cohort ended on such a high note as we came together for an evening of fun and fellowship. The TOC Mentorship Program’s Dishes of Diversity: A Mentoring Potluck on November 24, 2024, was a total hit! We had a great time bringing all our mentees and mentors together to celebrate community, culture, and connection.

    And guess what? We matched 100% of our 2024 mentees with a mentor – talk about success! I would like to extend a huge shoutout and many thanks to our wonderful sponsor, Discovery Behavioral Health, a provider of 130 residential and outpatient treatment programs for mental health, substance use, and eating disorders, with a focus on measurement-based care.

    Each guest was encouraged to bring a dish that represents their cultural heritage or personal favorites, and honey, did we have a feast! In addition to the culinary delights, this event featured a variety of games and activities designed to nurture connections and build a sense of camaraderie.

    One of our attendees stated, “This event was way more than I expected. The attention to detail and intentionality behind the gifts and food were amazing. I can’t wait until next year”.

    Honestly, I couldn’t have agreed with them more. By coming together to celebrate our diverse backgrounds, we strengthened bonds that make our community resilient and so supportive of one another. It is through these shared experiences that we can continue to grow both personally and professionally. 

    Looking ahead towards this year, the committee has made updates for those interested in applying or reapplying for the 5th cohort starting in June. The application and matching process has been improved this year by creating separate interest forms for mentors and mentees.

    Starting this month, mentors will see the Mentor Interest Form link located on our webpage ready for submissions.

    In April, the Mentee Interest Form link will become available for all interested mentees to apply.

    Additionally, we have updated some of the questions based upon feedback from previous program participants. Although we do not guarantee any match made, these new questions will help guide the committee during the manual matching process. If you are a new or returning mentor seeking to become part of our mentorship community, be sure to fill out the Mentor Interest Form today on our webpage above.

    Now this next update, I could not wait to share! I am pleased to announce that we have a new committee member joining our fabulous team, Ms. Angela Mull, LMFT. She may be new to the committee, but she is definitely not new to the TOC Mentorship Program.

    Angela has been a TOC mentor since 2022 and brings a wealth of private practice and community mental health experience pertaining to networking and professional development resources that will be a great addition to our committee. As a dedicated mentor, she enjoys guiding students and associates to overcome imposter syndrome and achieve career success. We look forward to collaborating with her on fresh new program ideas. You can read more about Angela Mull on our TOC Mentorship Program Committee page.

    As program chair, I am so excited for the future of this program and the continued impact it has had on clinicians of color. The foundation we've built will only grow stronger with the next cohort, fostering more formidable connections between mentors and mentees. 

    If you or someone you know is interested and would like to participate as a mentor or mentee in the TOC Mentorship Program, save the dates and link below and be sure to apply! For more details or if you would like someone from our committee to present/speak to your team or staff about to power of mentorship for therapists of color please contact Keonna Robinson 

    Interest Form Due Dates and Mentorship Start Dates: 

    • Mentor Interest Form: submissions will be accepted from March 1, 2025 to April 1, 2025.
    • Mentee Interest Form: submissions will be accepted from April 1, 2025 to May 1, 2025.
    • 6-month Mentorship duration is from June 1, 2025 to November 30, 2025. 

    Keonna Robinson, MA, LMFT

    TOC Mentorship Program Chair

    TOC Mentorship Webpage

    Email: Tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org 

    Images: all images were taken and designed by Keonna Robinson using a personal smartphone device.

  • 02/27/2025 2:30 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    Member Article

    Handling Major Life Decisions Together as Co-Parents

    Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

    Co-parenting after divorce comes with its own set of challenges, especially when it comes to making significant decisions for your children. From education and medical care to extracurricular activities, the stakes are high, and disagreements can feel impossible to navigate. How do you handle these big decisions when you and your ex no longer see eye to eye?

    Here’s the good news: It’s possible to work together effectively, even after divorce. With the right strategies and mindset, you can prioritize your child’s well-being while minimizing conflict.

    Life after divorce doesn’t pause, and the decisions about your child’s education, health, and future can feel relentless. Which school should they attend? Should they join a specific sport or activity? These choices can quickly escalate into points of tension, especially when you and your co-parent have different opinions.

    Behind these challenges is often a deeper sense of frustration or helplessness. Maybe you feel unheard, or perhaps every conversation feels like tiptoeing through a minefield to avoid conflict. It’s easy to start doubting your ability to co-parent effectively and whether you’re truly doing what’s best for your child.

    And the hardest part? It feels unfair that your child might be caught in the middle of disagreements between two parents who care for them deeply. Isn’t there a better way to make these decisions without letting old conflicts spill into new ones?

    The good news is that there is. With cooperation, mutual respect, and a focus on your child’s well-being, you can overcome these challenges together.

    A New Approach to Co-Parenting

    As a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience helping families navigate post-divorce relationships, I understand how difficult co-parenting can be, but I also know it doesn’t have to be a constant source of stress. Here are five tips to help you handle major life decisions together.

    1. Prioritize Communication

    Clear and respectful communication is the foundation of effective co-parenting. It’s crucial to set up regular check-ins to discuss important topics and make sure both parents have a chance to express their views in a neutral setting. When disagreements arise, focus on listening actively rather than reacting impulsively. The goal isn’t to “win” the conversation but to come to an agreement that best serves your child’s needs. Open, honest communication ensures that both parents feel heard and respected, which ultimately helps foster a cooperative co-parenting relationship.

    2. Keep the Focus on Your Child

    During moments of tension or disagreement, it’s easy to get sidetracked by personal feelings or past conflicts. However, always bring the conversation back to your child’s well-being and needs. What will benefit your child’s well-being and needs most in this situation? Keeping your child’s interests at the center helps both parents stay aligned, even when their individual opinions differ. Remember, co-parenting is about what’s best for the child, not about settling past scores or arguing for the sake of being right.

    3. Define Boundaries and Roles

    Clear boundaries and roles are vital to prevent confusion and reduce tension when making decisions. Establish who will take the lead in different areas—perhaps one parent handles medical decisions while the other is in charge of educational matters. When both parents understand their respective roles, it becomes easier to collaborate on more complex decisions. Respecting each other’s boundaries also helps maintain a sense of balance, so the focus remains on supporting your child rather than on dividing responsibilities.

    4. Be Willing to Compromise

    In co-parenting, compromise is often necessary, as the decision-making process is rarely split perfectly down the middle. Be open to finding middle ground that works for both parents, whether it’s in choosing a school, coordinating extracurricular activities, or agreeing on a schedule. Flexibility and willingness to adjust show your child that both parents are dedicated to working together for their best interests. Compromise not only helps resolve disputes but also models teamwork and cooperation for your child.

    5. Use Mediation for Complex Issues

    When decisions become particularly challenging or contentious, seeking the help of a mediator can be incredibly beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate the conversation, help uncover deeper issues that may be contributing to the conflict, and guide both parents toward a fair, child-focused solution. Mediation can provide structure and clarity, ensuring that discussions stay productive and centered on the child’s needs. It’s a valuable tool for navigating complex issues in a way that reduces conflict and promotes cooperation.

    Take the Next Step Toward Better Co-Parenting

    You might be thinking:

    • “My ex and I can’t even have a civil conversation.” Mediation can help create a structured, respectful dialogue.
    • “We’ll never agree on anything.” Start with smaller decisions to build trust and cooperation over time.
    • “It’s too late to change how we co-parent.” It’s never too late to develop healthier habits and improve communication.

    Co-parenting after divorce doesn’t have to be a battlefield. By focusing on your child’s well-being and working together with respect, you can navigate major life decisions with greater ease and less conflict.

    If you’re feeling stuck, a mediator can help. With over three decades of experience in divorce mediation, I’ve seen how the right tools and mindset can transform co-parenting relationships.

    Ready to start making co-parenting decisions with confidence?  Call and schedule a consultation with a mediator. Together, you can create a plan that puts your child first and sets your family up for success.

    Steven UnruhMA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFTHe and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child supportalong with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern CaliforniaWebsite: stevenunruh.com.

  • 02/27/2025 2:26 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)
    Therapists of Color (TOC) Grant Award Committee

    LA-CAMFT's Therapists of Color Grant Awardees and Thoughts

    Marvin Whistler, Mediator

    On February 24, 2025, the most recent awardees of the LA-CAMFT TOC GRANT AWARD were randomly selected. They are Cassidy Fan and Praisye Yeo.  Each will receive a check for $530, and free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop. The next cycle for the grant will begin on May 1, 2025.  It is limited to members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year. At the end of this article, there is an update on the impact that the award has had on awardees and their thoughts on its value.

    Description of Grant Stipend

    Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.

    Grant winners will receive

    • $530 to be spent at the winner’s discretion
    • Free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events of the winner’s choosing with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

    The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the purpose that the money is used will not be required.

    Application and Selection Process

    Interested members can complete the application on the LA-CAMFT website. The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one's trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly. Registration for the next award cycle will open on May 1, 2025 and will close on June 28, 2025. The drawing will take place on June 29, 2025.

    Awardees' thoughts on the LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Award

    IMPACT OF THE GRANT

    "It was very helpful. I was poor when I was an AMFT."

    "The grant was very impactful as it eased the burden of some of the costs associated with the MFT process (training and supplies, L&E study materials, etc.)! The grant provided relief and helped finances feel less constrained as a trainee and now Associate."

    "I found the grant very helpful to me particularly during a time when I was in dire need of additional funding & support to help keep me on track for the future."

    "The grant was very impactful for me, as it helped me to pay my final fees, associated with my graduate program, so that I could finish strong. Every little bit counts, so I am very grateful to have been able to use this money to help toward that end."

    VALUE OF THE GRANT

    "I just want to express my sincere gratitude to the TOC Grant committee for this program as it truly helps alleviate some of the systemic socioeconomic gaps in this field that passionate therapists of color such as myself have to navigate in our journeys to becoming competent licensed mental health clinicians."

    "I appreciate that this grant exists and can be applied to very easily. The gesture is meaningful and I hope other TOC are taking advantage of it."

    "It really touched me. SFV chapter started giving scholarships too. I think TOC Grant was a positive influence to the therapists community."

    "One additional comment I’d like to make is that it is very helpful that we are able to use the grant money at our own discretion. Removing limitations is advantageous because life happens to us all, and in order for us to be able to do our work well, sometimes we need to be able to address other situations, financially, that may directly or indirectly impact our work." 

    Best regards,

    The LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Committee

  • 02/27/2025 2:24 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    Guest Article

    Why Swim With Sharks When You Can Swim With Dolphins?

    Chellie Campbell, Financial StresReduction Expert

    "Why do some people always see beautiful skies and grass and lovely flowers and incredible human beings, while others are hard-pressed to find anything or any place that is beautiful?" -Leo Buscaglia

    There are three kinds of fish in the sea: Dolphins, Sharks and Tuna.

    Dolphins are wonderful creatures: intelligent, happy, and playful. They communicate; they swim in schools. They’ve been known to ward off a shark attack and protect the other fish. They are fun-loving and beautiful, arcing in graceful leaps over the waves.

    Sharks are eating machines. It’s not their fault; they were born that way. But their job is to eat you. If you find yourself in the water with a shark, put your shark fin on or get out of the water. It’s very difficult for a dolphin to act like a shark, and you’ll never be as good at it as a real shark, so I recommend getting out of the water.

    Tuna fish are food. They don’t know that the blood in the water is their own. They think everything that happens to them is somebody else’s fault. They take no responsibility for their choices. It’s like there are three kinds of people: the people that make things happen, the people that watch things happen, and the people who say, “What happened?” (Those are the tuna.)

    Sharks will steal your money and tuna will leech money from you. Real money is made when you have dolphins on your team.

    Who are the fish in your sea?

    In my book, Zero to Zillionaire, I further outlined two kinds of sharks and two kinds of tuna. See if you recognize any of these in your life:

    There are two kinds of Sharks: Angry Sharks and Con-Artist Sharks.

    1. Angry Sharks are completely self-obsessed. They have no real empathy for other people—they just can’t tell that you have thoughts and feelings just like they do. They see you as only one thing—food. They are angry with life and the world and are going to take it out on you. These sharks tend to scream and yell and throw tantrums in order to get their way. They will tell you everything that’s wrong with you if you give them an opportunity—like if you say, “Hello.” They are powered by rage and it is fearsome to behold. They rip you apart right away.

    2. Con-Artist Sharks are Sharks in Dolphin’s Clothing. They pretend to be your friend and imitate Dolphin behavior in order to get close to you. There’s no such thing as an obnoxious con-artist. They have charisma, a hail-fellow-well-met bonhomie, and a ready smile. But look in their eyes—there’s nothing there but calculation. They are running numbers, figuring what you are worth and how they can take advantage of you. They come to you with offers that sound so fabulous! You suspect maybe they’re too good to be true, but what if it really is your lucky day at last and this is a fabulous opportunity for you to get rich?? So you throw your skepticism into Davey Jones’ Locker and board their Pirate Ship to search for the treasure. But you’re the treasure and now they’ve got you walking the plank into their jaws. They are your best buddy—until they slowly rip you apart.

    After you’ve been swimming in Shark-infested waters, you feel hurt, wounded, and betrayed. You are suffering, bleeding, crying—and usually, you are broke, too.

    Sharks don’t want to pay you. They want all the money for themselves.

    Tuna come in two species: Angry Tuna and Timid Tuna.

    1. Angry Tuna are the “Ain’t It Awful” people who complain endlessly about everything. They never do anything about anything, mind you, they just whine and complain. “Life is Unfair” and “What’s the Use” are their mottos. Angry Tuna will hurt you almost as badly as a Shark will, but they will do it through passive-aggressive behavior. Their inaction will cost you the contract, cost you a friendship, cost you a fortune. And they will get huffy if you say anything to them about it, because They Are Blameless. Nothing is ever their fault.

    2. Timid Tuna never do anything either because they are afraid. They mask their ineffectual behavior under the guise of being Self-Sacrificing and Good-Hearted, but really they are just Victims. They justify playing with sharks saying, “Oh, there’s really a Dolphin in there somewhere—I’m going to help them find their inner Dolphin,” meanwhile completely oblivious to the fact that they’re missing a fin and the blood in the water is their own. Timid Tuna won’t cause you direct harm, but they will make you really, really frustrated.

    Both kinds of Tuna end up as dinner. And you’ll be in the frying pan with them, salted and breaded, if you swim with them very often. After you’ve spent some time with Tuna, you feel tired, depressed, and need to take a nap. It’s hard to get anything done after that.

    Tuna can’t pay you. Tuna have no money.

    In summary, this is the evidence telling you who the fish are in your sea:

    Dolphins: You feel good, and you are rich.

    Sharks: You feel bad, and you are broke.

    Tuna: You feel tired, but you broke even.

    I could make other distinctions, categorizing some people as Octopuses, Sea Horses, Barracuda, Eels, Angel Fish, etc., but we tend to get confused when we get too many choices. That’s why I like to stick to three categories, or three points, or three rules to remember, or a menu of three choices. You can remember Low, Medium, and High Budgets and you can remember Dolphins, Sharks and Tuna. That’s all you really need to make decisions about people. Either they support you or they cost you.

    Sharks sneer at books like this one. Why would anyone need a book to tell them how to be successful? Kill or be killed is all you need to know—it’s survival of the fittest, dummy. Tuna don’t read books except as a vehicle to beat themselves up with and cry, “Oh, no, this doesn’t work for me, either. Nothing ever works for me.” Dolphins value learning and growing; they read books, take workshops, attend classes, listen to CDs, and are always improving themselves and the world around them.

    When you learn to surround yourself with Dolphins and avoid Shark and Tuna, you will be richer and happier, and so will your friends.

    Today’s Affirmation:
    “I now attract people who reflect my highest good!”

    Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expertis the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebookwith participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.

  • 02/27/2025 2:24 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


    LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

    presents

    Therapists of Color Support Group

    Meets Every Quarter

    Next Meeting:
    Sunday, April 13, 2025
    11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)

    Online Via Zoom

    A safe place to receive peer support and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, racist injury, aggression, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of color encounter in the field of mental health.

      Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

      For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

      Event Details:

      For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

      Event Details: Sunday, April 12, 2025 from 11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)
      Time of Check-In: 10:50 am

      Where:  Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

      Cost: No charge

      *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


      In diversity there is beauty
      and there is strength.

      Maya Angelou

    1. 02/27/2025 2:17 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

      Guest Article

      Family Therapy with Older Adults and Their Adult Children

      Kim Scott, LMFT

      In my previous article, 6 Tips to Help Parents of Adult Kids Build Strong Relationships, I shared practical advice for strengthening bonds between older clients and their grown children. This month, I want to dive deeper into supporting families when simple tips aren’t enough.

      Every year, I receive calls from adult children seeking therapy for themselves, their siblings, and their parents. Similarly, older clients often approach me about working with their adult children—whether for ongoing therapy or a consultation session to address a pressing issue.

      A common thread in these requests is the challenge of finding therapists who specialize in working with adult families. While there are plenty of resources for families with young children, support for families with adult children is surprisingly sparse. This gap in services highlights an opportunity to bring much-needed attention to these unique dynamics.

      Steps to Getting Started

      The thought of a room full of adults—whether in your office or on a screen—might feel intimidating, but as marriage and family therapists, we have the foundational training to navigate these sessions. Here are a few key considerations to set yourself up for success:

      1. Initial Contact and Session Goals

      Your first contact will likely be with one family member. During this conversation, focus on understanding what brings the family to therapy and clarify the scope of your work together. Some questions to consider include:

      • Why are they seeking therapy at this time? It’s helpful to ensure that therapy isn’t being used as a way to pressure someone—such as adult children trying to push their parents into making a decision they’re not ready for, or vice versa.
      • Who will be participating in the sessions? Think of each person who has a role to play in the interpersonal dynamic.
      • Is everyone willing to attend? If not, explore who is hesitant to participate and the reasons behind their reluctance.
      • Are they seeking ongoing therapy, a one-time consultation, or mediation for a specific issue? The answer to that question will help you optimize the benefit of the session for each individual.
      • Do all family members live in the state where you are licensed? If not, you might suggest scheduling extended sessions when everyone is in town for a holiday or family event.

      These initial steps help set clear expectations and create a foundation for a collaborative and productive therapeutic process.

      2. Setting the Tone in the First Session

      • Begin the session by inviting everyone to introduce themselves and share their hopes for therapy. Start with the parents, as that will acknowledge their role as family elders and set a respectful tone. As always, prioritize rapport-building to create a space where every member knows they are seen and heard.

      3. Cultural Sensitivity

      Be mindful of cultural norms and expectations. For example, in some cultures, it’s common for a 35-year-old son to live at home until marriage, while in others, this might signal “failure to launch.” Cultural differences can also shape expectations around caregiving and decision-making, especially if adult children are more acculturated than their parents. These dynamics often contribute to family tensions, making cultural awareness essential.

      4. Tailoring Your Approach

      Adjust your treatment plan based on the family’s goals and needs. For instance, a one-time consultation for a specific issue might require an extended session. Larger families may also benefit from extended sessions to ensure everyone has time to participate.

      5. Make Sure Expectations Are Realistic

      As the family shares what brings them to therapy, take time to clarify their goals. It’s common for family members to have conflicting or overlapping goals, so part of your role is to help them establish a shared focus for treatment. If multiple realistic goals emerge, work together to prioritize where to begin.

      This is also an opportunity to explain your role in the therapeutic process. Many families may be new to therapy and might mistakenly expect you to act as an arbitrator or judge, determining who is “right” or “wrong.” Instead, gently guide them toward understanding that therapy is a collaborative space to explore their dynamics and work toward solutions together.

      Useful Family Therapy Approaches

      Following are some therapeutic approaches that can guide your work with families:

      1. Structural Family Therapy (Salvador Minuchin)

      Focuses on family structure, hierarchy, and boundaries. For example, helping adult children respect their parents’ autonomy while sharing their concerns can realign family dynamics in a healthy way.

      2. Bowen Family Systems Therapy (Murray Bowen)

      Explores intergenerational patterns and family roles. Genograms can help highlight patterns and encourage more direct communication. Identifying triangles in the family can also reduce conflict and foster connection.

      3. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg)

      Ideal for families seeking short-term support to address specific challenges. This approach emphasizes solutions over problem exploration, making it well-suited for time-limited sessions.

      4. Narrative Therapy (Michael White and David Epston)

      Helps families reframe the stories they tell about themselves and each other. Members can develop more empowering perspectives by externalizing problems and rewriting family narratives.

      5. Cognitive-Behavioral Family Therapy (CBFT)

      Focuses on identifying and changing thought patterns that contribute to family tension. This approach is practical and goal-oriented, often resulting in behavioral agreements.

      6. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (Sue Johnson)

      Explores attachment dynamics and underlying emotional needs. By addressing unresolved pain, families can build more secure emotional connections and reduce conflict.

      Taking an Integrative Approach

      In many cases, blending techniques from these approaches can offer the most flexibility and effectiveness. As therapists, our ability to adapt and tailor interventions to each family’s unique dynamics is one of our greatest strengths.

      By embracing the opportunity to work with older adults and their grown children, we can bridge the gap in family therapy services and help families navigate challenges with compassion, clarity, and connection.

      Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com.

    2. 02/27/2025 2:14 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


      LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
      presents

      (MENA)
      Middle Eastern North African 
      Therapists Community Group

      First Monday of Every Month

      Next Meeting:
      Monday, March 3, 2025
      9:30am-10:30am

      Online Via Zoom

      Free Registration

      The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.

      Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing mena.lacamft@gmail.com.

        Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

        For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

        Event Details:

        For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

        When: Monday, March 3, 2025 from 9:30am-10:30am

        Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

        Cost: No charge

        Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan

        *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


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