Los Angeles Chapter — California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
Voices — March 2023
Christina “Tina” Cacho Sakai, LMFTPresident, LA-CAMFT
Behind the Scenes
Ever wonder who the LA-CAMFT leader is behind Special Events (Spring Fling, Summer Picnic, Appreciation Dinner, Holiday Party) AND who designates the funds to bring the events to fruition? It is the fabulous Special Events Chair, Tiffani Sainz, AMFT and Chief Financial Officer, Billie Klayman, LMFT! It is Tiffani’s 2nd year on the LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and it is Billie’s 9th year on the LA-CAMFT Board of Directors as CFO. Both of them are major contributors to the functioning of the organization and it was an honor to sit down with them individually to find out more about why they are leaders with LA-CAMFT.
Tiffani shared what she feels it takes to be a good leader, “why” she chooses to be a LA-CAMFT leader and her hopes and dreams for future LA-CAMFT Special Events. Here are the highlights:
Tiffani’s philosophy to what it takes to be a good leader:
Tiffani’s hopes and dreams for future LA-CAMFT Special Events:
Current CFO, Billie Klayman, LMFT has been involved with LA-CAMFT since 2008 and originally began helping prep the meeting materials for the Networking Events alongside Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT and Karen Wulfson, LMFT, Networking Event Leaders. Billie reflects that it took 3 hours for her to put the packets together. She attended all the Networking Events, moved up the ranks and then became the Meeting Materials Person and had a team working under her. About 5 years later, Maria Dylan, LMFT who was the CFO invited Billie to join the Finance Committee. Billie agreed and then in 2014 ran for CFO. At that time, Billie was 2 years licensed, a clinical supervisor and the new CFO for LA-CAMFT!
Billie shared “why” she is a LA-CAMFT Leader, what inspires her to volunteerism and her hopes and dreams for the future of LA-CAMFT. Here are the highlights:
Billie’s “why” to being a LA-CAMFT Leader:
● Wonderful friendships through CAMFT and our Chapter.
● Helped me grow in my professional career and in my personal life.
● Learned a lot through the workshops and speakers.
● Fun because I get to interact with everybody on the Board.
● To give back to our professional community.
● Intention is to inspire people young in the profession.
Billie’s inspiration to volunteerism:
● My 95 year old mother who is a child of the Holocaust and continues to share her story with the community.
● My Jewish upbringing and the community we grew up in.
● Being a Jewish Buddhist and adhering to the Four Noble Truths and Eightfold Path.
Billie’s hopes and dreams for the future of LA-CAMFT:
● More practitioners get involved in supporting their community.
● Opportunity for practitioners to learn how to be a leader. To learn how to build that confidence in making the world better.
● Goal is to reduce emotional suffering and help people have good self-esteem, feel confident and have meaning and purpose in their lives.
As Billie reflected on her history with LA-CAMFT as CFO, she feels that “It’s time for somebody new to come in." Billie is currently training Di Wilson to be the new CFO for 2024. Billie hopes that when Di comes in “she makes her own adjustments and does her own thing because I’ve only looked through my lens." On behalf of LA-CAMFT, we thank Billie Klayman for her 9 years of service as CFO and her 15 years of service with LA-CAMFT. To quote Billie once again, “It’s been a wonderful ride!"
Special thank you to Tiffani and Billie for allowing me to interview you and share your greatness with the broader LA-CAMFT Community! If you would like to get in contact with either of them, you could find them here: https://lacamft.org/Board-of-Directors-2023 or attend one of our upcoming LA-CAMFT Special Events.
Hope to see you soon!
Christina "Tina" Cacho Sakai, LMFT (she/her) is a Latinx (Mexican-American) psychotherapist in private practice and a former community based therapist, clinical supervisor, associate director, and adjunct faculty at CSULA. She provides psychotherapy in a culturally responsive, LGBTQIA+ affirming and social justice-oriented atmosphere. Treatment specializations include healing from trauma, processing grief and loss, exploring creativity, and honoring full intersectional identities. She is currently in the BIPOC Somatic Experiencing Training Certificate Program.
Sunday, March 19, 2023 9:00 am-3:30 pm
Meets BBS requirements for mandatory 6 CEs/Ethical Education
6 CEs
Online Via Zoom
Curt Widhalm, LMFT
Therapists in Los Angeles have the opportunity to face it all! Whether it is the glitz and glamour of being on the latest reality show or working on the streets with homeless clients with severe mental illness, Los Angeles therapists can find themselves facing almost any ethical or legal challenge imaginable. This workshop covers what Los Angeles area therapists are currently facing that is making the local and national headlines…and provides guidance on how to best manage these situations. This workshop meets the 6 CE BBS requirement for licensure renewal. At the end of this presentation, participants will have a general understanding of the legal and ethical challenges facing LA therapists and best practices for handling them.
Event Details: Sunday, March 19, 2023, 9:00 am-3:30 am (PT)
Where: Online Via Zoom After you register you will be emailed a Zoom link the Saturday before the presentation.
More information and register today by clicking the Register Here button below.
Register Here
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFTVoices Editor
Getting Paid: Guiding Reluctant & Resistant Clients into Teletherapy
Many psychotherapists now have tele-practices and conduct video and phone therapy sessions instead of, or in addition to, face-to-face sessions in an office as a result of the majority of mental health providers switching to, or experiencing, Teletherapy sessions during stay at home orders during the pandemic.
While these types of online video or phone services are not for every client or practitioner, many therapists are reporting that, after moving their practices online and doing therapy with clients over several months, they find video or phone tele-sessions are not only effective but convenient to both them and their clients. After the pandemic quarantine many therapists kept offering some form of Teletherapy along with in-person sessions once the quarantine was lifted.
However, clinicians are also reporting that when some new prospective clients find out in-person sessions are not an option they seem reluctant, resistant, or unsure about beginning or making the switch to virtual therapy. This causes psychotherapists to feel conflicted because client consent is needed to work virtually when in-office sessions aren’t offered. Therapists also wonder if it’s okay to influence a client towards Teletherapy when the client doesn’t seem to want it or is less than comfortable. Should therapists address it or just refer?
While there are many good reasons that people are reluctant to do teletherapy—no private place, no equipment but their phone, weak internet connection, etc., it’s important to remember that when in-person services are not available some individuals may initially find it hard to switch to or commit to therapy that’s different from what they’ve thought about, imagined, or come to expect. Teletherapy is that kind of different. No couch, just a screen.
While clinicians know that some reluctance or resistance to beginning therapy is usually present in any intake, and are used to addressing that, what counselors aren’t as used to is handling intakes where the reluctance is around the only option offered.
The truth is that many of the issues that are expressed as client reluctance about Teletherapy aren’t about the tele-sessions at all, but like in intake calls where in-person sessions are possible, are a manifestation of the client’s issues that are inherent to therapy—and these would come up even if the therapy was face-to-face.
While online services are not for every client or practitioner, a client’s reluctance, discomfort, and resistance is most often not about Teletherapy, but about entering a new world where they are moving from a familiar way of operating to the therapy context where different rules apply.
Our job as therapists begins with helping clients enter, become familiar with, and safely navigate the therapeutic context. We are, and need to be, their guide.
As you read the following information, be sure to remember:
What’s the best way to respond to a potential client who seems reluctant or resistant to engage in video or phone therapy when a therapist isn’t seeing clients in person in the office?
Teletherapy reluctance, discomfort, and resistance are clinical issues. The therapist needs to take charge of any conversations regarding teletherapy issues. Yes, it’s part of therapy and it’s the therapist’s job to aid-educate-facilitate pre-therapy (intake) or Teletherapy resistance conversations.
New clients don’t really know what teletherapy is or what it’s like if they’ve never had therapy or online therapy before. They only have an idea of what it’s like or the description of what someone else told them. Teletherapy with a clinician who is a good match can be a great option when in-person therapy is not available and many clients are great candidates for video or phone therapy. Use your clinical skills to address and respond to a client or prospective client’s Teletherapy issues when they come up—just like you would address anything else. Treat the issues that come up about teletherapy sessions the same way you’d treat any other client issue. Taking it personally = Countertransference!
Don’t take a client’s Teletherapy reluctance and resistance talk personally when clients demonstrate their issues and skill level—take or use a therapeutic stance just like you would about any other topic or issue. Under your guidance clients can then make an informed decision about beginning, continuing or ending Teletherapy.
To review:
It’s important to remember that it’s normal for the clinician and new client to experience an adjustment period with remote care. New clients might need extra guidance if they’re unsure about how to navigate teletherapy when working from home with family members, roommates, or small children around. Portions of sessions can be used to formulate solutions and manage creating a physical and interpersonal zone that works to provide a safe space for therapy.
Teletherapy is definitely here to stay. Its effectiveness is equivalent to face-to-face sessions and the flexible nature of video and phone sessions benefit both clients and clinicians. Add in the ease and convenience of scheduling a video or phone therapy session and talking with a mental health practitioner from the privacy of your home or another convenient location, and you find that these virtual services are a huge draw, especially for many people who are seeking therapy for the first time.
Telepsychiatry, teletherapy, telepsychology, and video therapy are more than just trends. In fact, a good number of mental health professionals found they prefer working with clients using teletherapy video and or phone sessions and have not returned to in-office sessions. Yes, quite a few therapists are reporting that they plan to keep or have kept their therapy practices solely virtual, and they have. Other therapists report they do both virtual and in-person sessions in their hybrid practice.
Both in-person therapy and Teletherapy have advantages. Some view office sessions as a way to get some distance from problems at home and find it easier to see and deal with challenges objectively. Some clients prefer phone therapy over video therapy, which works fine in many situations.
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visit www.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.
Tuesday, March 28, 2023 6:30 pm-7:30 pm
FREE Registration
Via Zoom
Paving the Path to You — Helping Your Ideal Clients Find Your Practice Online
Natalie Moore, LMFT
When I first started out as an associate under supervision in private practice, I had no idea how to get clients. I certainly didn’t learn it in grad school! After lots of self-study and trial and error, I learned that most of my clients were finding me through my website. Seven years later, I still get the vast majority of my referrals from Google searches. In this talk, we’ll cover the basics of developing a website or blog and increasing your ranking in Google searches (also called search engine optimization — or SEO) so that potential clients can find you online. As some pre-licensed therapists are unable to have their own websites, we will also be covering other ways you can begin building a web presence while adhering to all applicable laws and practice policies. Be ready with your questions as this will be a highly interactive workshop.
Event Details: Tuesday, March 28, 2023, 9:00 am-11:00 am (PT)
Where: Online Via Zoom After you register you will be emailed a Zoom link the Thursday before the presentation.
Chellie Campbell,Financial StressReduction Expert
Going for the Gold in Gold Sneakers!
“All your marketing should be designed to attract the people you want . . . and repel the people you don’t want!”
— Gene Call
If there’s one thing I’ve learned traveling along this life’s highways and byways, is that in all things it is best to completely be yourself. Take a stand for yourself, choose your likes and dislikes, and stand proudly in them. When you are clearly you, other people will see it and know you for who you are. This simplifies life immeasurably. Your people will be drawn to you more quickly, and the other people will pass you by. I was thinking about this as I drove to the Jonathan Club downtown Los Angeles, to speak to the Los Angeles Chapter of NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners). I was dressed in my usual “Give-a-speech-costume”—blouse, blazer, pants and gold tennis shoes.
Mind you, I wear gold tennis shoes all the time. I have casual gold tennies that have a quilted pattern and gold beads for everyday wear, but for speeches, I wear my dressy gold tennis shoes that have rhinestones all over them. I had thought briefly of wearing “real shoes” to this event, since this was a rather corporate environment, but then I decided just to stick with my usual style. Wouldn’t you know, my momentary hesitation manifested itself in a challenge issued to me by one of the Jonathan Club employees in the lobby. “Excuse me, miss,” he said frowning disapprovingly at my feet, “but we don’t allow tennis shoes in our club.” Oops! Caught already. I grinned up at him and said, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the speaker this evening and this is my costume!” He wasn’t buying it. “Don’t you have any other shoes?” he inquired. “No,” I shrugged, “not with me.” Oh, dear, I thought, am I going to be thrown out? Barred from the club? My eyes widened and I said, “You know, I’m sure your dress code means tennis shoes as in gym shoes. These are clearly not gym shoes—they are gold mesh, dressy shoes with diamonds on them!” He paused for a long moment as he thought this over. It must have made sense to him, because he said, “Okay…but hurry!” He wanted me out of his jurisdiction as soon as possible, and I was happy to oblige him as I scurried upstairs to the meeting room. The meeting was fabulous with lots of great people—no one else in tennis shoes, I noted. (They must have been tipped off to the dress code.) The reactions to my gold shoes are always very interesting. Lots of people smile and comment how they just love my shoes, how comfortable they look, etc. I know these are “my people.” And of course, some people don’t like them—one woman told me after the talk that I should look more professional if I was going to talk about a serious subject like money. I just smiled, because I think that’s one of the problems I’m trying to solve—that people are too serious about money. So don’t judge me until you walk a mile in my gold tennis shoes.
Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.
Black Therapist Support Group
First Saturday of this Month
Next Meeting: Saturday, March 4, 2023 12:00 pm-1:30 pm (PT)
A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space be the support needed to facilitate that journey.
Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members
First Saturday of Each Month
Location: Zoom Meeting
For more information contact Akiah Robinson Selwa, LMFT at aselwa@sunrisetherapycenter.org.
Event Details:
For:Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students
Event Details: Saturday, March 4, 2023, 12:00 pm-1:30 pm (PT)Time of Check-In: 11:50 am
Where: Online Via Zoom
Once you have registered for the presentation, we will email you a link to Zoom a few days before the presentation.
Cost:
No Charge
Online Registration CLOSES on the date of the event.
(Registration is open and available until the group ends.)
Questions about Registration? Contact Diversity Committee, diversitycommittee@lacamft.org.
David Silverman, LMFT
Is Perfectionism Getting in the Way of Your Writing?
1. Don't compare your writing with Quentin Tarantino's.
If you fall into the category of so-called "neurotic perfectionists," (and I feel that all writers share some of these traits), you may be thinking in black and white. That is like, "I'm either a total success or a complete failure. There's nothing in between."
Don't start off comparing your screenplay with "Pulp Fiction." You'll come up short. You'll feel like a "failure." Remember there are six million shades of grey.
2. Don't just sit down at the computer and start writing.
It's overwhelming. Break your overall goal into small, doable (preferably one day) projects. Start with a character description. What is the protagonist like? Then, day two, what is the antagonist like? Write a brief plot summary, with a beginning, middle and an end.
Then flesh out act one. Give act one a beginning, middle and an end. Make sure it sets up the major characters, with character arcs. Remember characters change through conflict. Don't rewrite randomly, stick to the plan. Allow the characters to grow.
3. Make lots of mistakes.
As a creative professional, you're going to make mistakes. You've got to take risks if you're going to be original. Without risk, when you play it safe, everything turns out bland. Bland characters. Bland story. And so on. No surprises.
You've got to be willing to try something new. You've got to be willing to make mistakes.
4. Don't be perfect. Be yourself.
Find your voice. Don't try to painstakingly craft perfect dialogue. It'll seem stilted. You want conversational dialogue. How does it sound to your ear? Keep it natural, but not boring.
Stay authentic. Steal from real life. Pattern characters after people you know. Write dialogue that’s entertaining and feels real. If you write what you know, you'll have a lifetime's worth of original ideas.
5. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Some of my writing clients will write a sentence, and then start rewriting. They're not following a plan. They're not moving on. They'll rewrite that sentence six different ways.
Don't get hung up on details. Perfectionists tend to over-write everything. Remember, it's the whole screenplay that matters, not every word. Keep the big picture in mind while you're writing. But don't get overwhelmed. And don’t obsess over every decision, you’ll make yourself crazy.
6. Don't be judgmental.
Perfectionists write something, then look for flaws. They’re highly critical of their writing, and everybody else’s writing. The idea here is to take it easy on your friend’s work. Cut them some slack. And go easy on yourself.
If you’re less critical of others, you may find yourself being less critical of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't judge, yet. Leave that for the second draft.
7. Remember, nobody’s born talented.
Some people think talent is something you’re born with. They feel that you either have talent or you don’t. You can’t afford to think that way. You want to think that your writing gets better with time.
The more you practice writing, the better it will be. Keep a journal with you. When you have time, practice writing scenes. Practice writing dialogue.
Watch how people behave. Observe them in action. Write down your observations. How do these people look, dress, and sound? Write down bits of dialogue. Your writing will improve.
8. Don’t take everything personally.
Perfectionists tend to take every setback or criticism personally. Setbacks are supposed to be part of the process. For the perfectionist, though, setbacks can stop the process. They lose confidence in themselves.
Don’t let setbacks kill your enthusiasm. They’re going to happen. You want to be resilient. Set the screenplay aside and come back to it in a better frame of mind.
Don’t give in to the perfectionist’s worst nightmare; thinking your errors are evidence that you “aren’t good enough.” You don’t want to lose interest in the project. You want to take another look at your outline, stay the course, and bounce back.
9. Trivialize the process.
Perfectionists tend to over-think the importance of their screenplay. They might see it as the first step in their screenwriting careers. Their expectations grow. They imagine life as a screenwriter.
All their hopes and dreams rely on writing their first screenplay. Some perfectionists will never finish one project. They'll get bogged down with details. Especially when it feels like their entire future depends on it.
If you’re a perfectionist and you start off thinking “the rest of my life is riding on this screenplay," every detail is going to haunt you. If you say to yourself, “I’m just moving words around on a page” the process becomes less threatening.
The “shitty first draft” is the term Anne Lamott, author of “Bird by Bird,’ came up with to trivialize the process of writing novels. You want to think, "it’s just a first draft." Furthermore, it’s one of many. There will be dozens, maybe hundreds of screenplays in your future. So, relax. And keep writing.
David Silverman, LMFT, treats creative and highly sensitive individuals in private practice in LA. Having experienced the rejection, stress, creative blocks, and career reversals over a long career as a writer in Film and TV, he’s uniquely suited to work with gifted, creative and sensitive clients experiencing anxiety, addiction or depression. For more information, visit www.DavidSilvermanMFT.com.
LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee Presents:
Asian American Pacific Islander+ Therapists Circle
Third Friday of Every Month
A safe and empowering place for therapists of the Asian diaspora to experience healing, renewal, and belonging. We will collectively process experiences of racism and internalized oppression. We will also explore the coexistence of privilege and marginalization along with invisibility and hypervigilance. This space will help us appreciate and reclaim what we have in common while honoring our differences. Grace Lee Boggs notes, “The only way to survive is by taking care of one another.” May this circle embody her words.
Third Friday of this Month Location: Zoom Meeting
For more information contact Rachell Alger, rachellalgermft@gmail.com.
For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students
Event Details: Friday, March 17, 2023, 1:30 pm-3:00 pm (PT) Time of Check-In: 12:50 pm
Where: Online Via Zoom Once you have registered for the presentation, we will email you a link to Zoom a few days before the presentation.
Cost: No Charge
Online Registration CLOSES on the date of the event. (Registration closes 1.5 hours prior to the meeting.)
Questions about Registration? Contact Akiah Robinson Selwa at diversitycommitee@lacamft.org.
Joanna Poppink, LMFT
Making Your Bed: Big Healing Power in Small Steps
Healing power of making your bed
I'm a psychotherapist. I often tell new patients about the value of making your bed in the morning.
They are often shocked that I would say something so mundane when the real issues were their anxiety or depression or relationship difficulties or their PTSD.
I respond that when you have such issues, making your bed in the morning is even more important.
Anxiety and depression affect your life at home, at work and everywhere you go because you are hiding.
Small constructive steps at home can be a big help. You focus attention, call on your inner discriminating power, make decisions and improve your life. For example, clean out one drawer or part of one closet every day. You do the discarding. You wield the power. You make the decisions about what is relevant and irrelevant, of value and not of value now.
This can empower you in life so you are allied with the part of separation you choose.
When you make your bed you bring order to disorder. You improve the look of your room. You smooth disturbances. When you make your bed you are planning for the future. You are making yourself a welcome homecoming. You are creating comfort and peace for your sleep. When you return to your made bed, regardless of the day you’ve had, you remember your competence and respect for yourself.
Brava to the bedmakers in our world! Next is dishes. Then on to laundry.
And on and on until you clean up and organize your life. Your business and relationships with others are cleaner and healthier. You develop more confidence and greater self-esteem.
Attention and Action
You pay attention and take action on issues that are important to you as you honor your life, the lives of others and life itself. One little task at a time will fuel your recovery from many issues that have impeded your progress. As you proceed on this bed making path you have continual validation that the improvements in your life began from your own efforts. And that's your undeniable source of new strength and confidence.
Middle Eastern North African (MENA) Therapists Community Group
Next Meeting: Friday, March 3, 2023 9:30 am-10:30 am (PT)
Free Registration
The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.
For:
Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students
Event Details: Friday, March 3, 2023, 9:30 am-10:30 am (PT)Time of Check-In: 9:30 am
Where: Online Via Zoom Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.
Registration is open and available until the group begins.
Questions about Registration? Contact Tyana Tavakol, Perla Hollow, & Tania Osipof at DiversityCommittee@lacamft.org.
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