Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists

Los Angeles Chapter — CAMFT

Guest Article

02/28/2022 7:00 PM | Mike Johnsen (Administrator)

Chellie Campbell,
Financial Stress
Reduction Expert

Your People vs Not Your People

Do you ever waste time trying to please the unpleasable? 

Do you spend hours agonizing over a nasty comment?

And only 5 seconds taking in a compliment?

Half of the people in the world aren’t going to like you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Wayne Dyer  

I was shocked when I read that.  

It was definitely an “Aha!” moment. I had been raised to be a good girl, a people-pleaser, always trying to make sure everyone around me was happy and that I didn’t offend anyone with any statement or act. 

What an impossible task! Doomed to failure.

And it made me nervous and unhappy when I couldn’t please everyone.  

I was one of those people who would go to a party, find ninety-nine people out of one hundred liked me, but follow around the one who didn’t, trying to change their mind. 

How much money is lost in life by people chasing people who don’t like them, trying to make them happy? It can be a boss, a client, or a family member.  

This person clearly isn’t one of Your People. Let them go! You will never please them, satisfy them or measure up to their vision of how you ought to be. You’ll make yourself crazy spending any time or effort on them. 

Look for Your People—pick dolphins to be on your team.  

When someone asks me how you can tell who they are, I tell them it’s easy: You know Your People because you like them—immediately.  

And they like you back.  

You know who your people aretheir faces light up when they see you. Don’t you love that? 

You can tell who they are when you call them, too. I was making Gold Calls on my Gold Phone the other day and two calls really stuck out in my mind. 

Call number one: 

“Hi, this is Chellie,” I said when the woman answered the phone.

“Yes?” she said flatly. 

Thinking she didn’t remember me, I said, “I spoke at the meeting last monthI’m the author of The Wealthy Spirit . . .” 

“I know who you are,” she broke in flatly. Then silence. 

Eew. I could just tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn’t delighted to hear from me. So I just briefly explained that I had a class coming up and would she be interested in receiving some information about it? No, thanks, and we were done.

Call number two: 

“Hi, this is Chellie,” I said again. 

“Oh, my goodness, really? I am so delighted to hear from you!” she bubbled. “I am so glad you called!” 

Ah, isn’t that just what you want to hear? The door was open for a wonderful conversation, and yes, she is interested in my class, too. 

How long does it take you to figure out if someone is happy you called or not?

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and most recently From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She is widely quoted in major media including Redbook, Good Housekeeping and more than 50 popular books. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years. Her website is www.chellie.com.

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