How to Adapt to Change
by Finding That Silver Lining

I think we would all like to wake up from this bad dream that the entire world is experiencing right now. My magic wand seems to have developed a mind of its own and is completely ignoring my directives to stop the nonsense and get us back to normal. I miss my gym, my friends, my professional contacts and networks, movies, theatre, sporting events and especially eating out with friends at our favorite restaurants. This is just too much change all at once.

OK, agreed. But this is our reality so let’s see how to deal with it. Albert Einstein said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” Maya Angelou, who overcame a horribly abusive childhood, is quoted as saying “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” And Heraclitus said, “There’s nothing permanent except change.”

Well, just reading these quotes has made me feel better, but now I have to put these fantastic thoughts into action. And . . . I am actually doing that because I am sitting in front of my computer, struggling to find the right words to share with you about how to find the silver lining regardless of what has happened in your life.

Have you lost a job, suffered through a divorce, lost a family member to death, experienced financial loss or a complete upending of how your profession is practiced? If we live long enough, no doubt most of us will have endured upheavals in our lives, challenges which force us to acknowledge that our world has changed. It’s no fun, really, to have our comfortable lives turned upside down because the Universe has decided it is time for us to experience new aspects of ourselves. Whenever we get too comfortable with the status quo, when our life is too predictable, along comes a rainstorm or sometimes a tsunami to wake us up from our complacency.

What is occurring now is a global tsunami which challenges us on so many different levels. First of all, we have to stay well physically as well as mentally and emotionally. And whether we are in a global tsunami or in the midst of our own personal need to grow because our world has changed, it is imperative that we surrender to the law of change by being willing to let go of the comfortable past and embrace what the present has to offer us. We probably learned the necessary lessons in that past life which has changed, so why not be still and ask what the Universe has in store for us right now? What actions do we need to take to expand the scope of our life? Sometimes we are forced to try something new in our career or job because the old ways of practicing our profession are no longer available.

One of my clients had studied acting since his adolescence. He had done some commercials as a pre-teen and teenager but was unable in his twenties to support himself as an actor. For 8 years he had worked really hard to make a living at it. He had a great bartending job at a very popular restaurant on the Westside of Los Angeles but was feeling really stifled by the management and his life in general. He decided to move to New York City, sold most of his belongings and set out for an entirely new life in the Big Apple.

It took him 2 years to find the perfect job for him in the restaurant/bar business where he became a very well-known mixologist in the United States and several countries in Europe, Asia and South America. He was able to use his great talents as a performer both behind the bar and in various classes, which he taught. But the pandemic hit NYC like a cyclone and all the city was shut down. No restaurants, no bars, no travel to exotic locations to teach mixology classes and judge competitions. With the restaurant closed, he had no job and no money coming in. But not for long.

As you are probably aware, we Americans are an adaptable bunch. If you can’t go to a bar for a drink, the internet will have classes taught by professionals like my client which teach you how to make your drinks at home. They are entertaining, informative and fun classes which highlight different liquor brands, every kind of imaginable cocktail and a host with knowledge and personality to light up our lives. And he is paid much more than he earned behind the bar. His world has opened up to new opportunities to share his expertise, financial success and a whole new career on the internet. See, change was the catalyst which has propelled the entire restaurant and bar business to create new ways of serving the public. And change helped my client become the performer he always wanted to be.

Leila Aboohamad, LMFT, is a psychotherapist practicing in Brentwood, Santa Monica and West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in helping individuals and couples create successful, committed loving relationships. She has studied and practiced spirituality and mindfulness for over 35 years. Leila also works with gifted, talented and creative adults helping them to identify and share their special gifts and passions with the world. Website: www.leilalmft.com.