LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

presents

White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR)

Third Sunday of Every Month

Next Meeting:
Sunday, January 2026
3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)

Online Via Zoom

The goal of White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR) is for white-identified therapists to become effective allies in support of decolonization and racial justice in our clinical practice, therapy association, and community. Recognizing that racism is maintained when whiteness is invisible to white people, WTFR provides a forum for white-identified therapists to explore what it means to be white. While this process includes learning about structural racism and deconstructing the false narrative about race, a primary focus in the group is on doing inner work.

How Do I Join? To join this group, please click here to complete our online submission form. Once submitted, a group facilitator will reach out to you for next steps.

Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

For more information or if you have additional questions, please send all inquiries to the facilitators WTFR@lacamft.org.

Event Details:

For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

When: Sunday, January 2026 from 3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)

Where: Online Via Zoom (Once you complete the online submission process, you will be emailed a monthly Zoom link.)

Cost: No charge

Facilitator(s): Estelle, Randi, Hazel, and Stephen

*Registration is open and available until the group begins.*

Stay tuned!

https://lacamft.org/Diversity-Committee

Member Article

The Narcissist’s Playbook: Manipulation Tactics Common in Divorce

Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

You knew divorce would be hard—but you didn’t expect this.

One minute your spouse is charming and cooperative, the next they’re cold, cutting, and claiming you’re the unreasonable one. Friends hear one story; you’re living another. And as the legal process unfolds, you start to wonder: Am I losing my grip, or is something else going on?

If this feels familiar, you may be experiencing the classic tactics of a narcissist during divorce.

When Divorce Becomes a Battleground

Divorcing a narcissist is not like a typical breakup—it becomes a game of psychological chess.

First, there’s the outward struggle: a spouse who rewrites history, twists conversations, lies effortlessly, or uses the legal system to intimidate you. They may withhold finances, manipulate the children, or launch a smear campaign to damage your reputation.

Then comes the emotional toll: you feel confused, exhausted, and constantly on edge. You start doubting your own reality. You wonder if you’re overreacting or if anyone will believe you. You feel trapped in a cycle you didn’t choose.

At the deepest level, there is the question of fairness: No one should have to defend their sanity against someone who pretends to be the victim while causing harm. No one deserves to be manipulated by the person who promised to love them. It’s simply wrong—and it’s why so many people feel hopeless.

But the truth is this: you don’t have to let their playbook determine the outcome. There is a better way forward.

A Better Path Forward

I’ve been a divorce mediator for more than 30 years. I’ve guided thousands of individuals through high-conflict, emotionally charged divorces—many involving partners with narcissistic traits.

I understand how draining and disorienting this process can be. I care deeply about helping people like you find clarity, regain control, and move through divorce without losing yourself in the chaos.

Below, I’ll walk you through the most common manipulation tactics used by narcissists—and how to neutralize them. You’ll also see why mediation can be a powerful tool for protecting your wellbeing and preventing unnecessary emotional and financial harm.

1. Gaslighting: Rewriting Reality

Narcissists are masters at distorting the truth. They deny conversations happened, twist your words, accuse you of things you never did, and make you question your memory.

How to protect yourself:

• Keep communication written whenever possible.
• Save texts, emails, and voicemails.
• Stick to facts rather than feelings in disagreements.

Mediation can help here—because the presence of a neutral guide limits their ability to rewrite the narrative.

2. The Victim Act: Playing Innocent While Attacking You

In public or in court, they may portray themselves as calm, wounded, “trying their best.” Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they’re doing everything possible to undermine you.

How to respond:

• Don’t take the bait.
• Document inconsistencies.
• Present evidence calmly and professionally.

Mediators are trained to see through performative behavior and keep the process focused on truth, not theatrics.

3. Financial Manipulation: Money as a Weapon

This may include hiding assets, cutting off access to funds, refusing to pay bills, or suddenly changing spending habits.

Protect yourself by:

• Gathering all financial records early.
• Monitoring shared accounts.
• Seeking professional guidance before confronting them.

In mediation, financial transparency is required and enforced, making it harder for them to manipulate resources.

4. Using Children as Leverage

Narcissists may attempt to turn the children against you, control visitation, or make false claims about your parenting.

Your strategy:

• Keep interactions child-focused and calm.
• Avoid reacting emotionally to provocations.
• Maintain a clear record of all parenting actions and communications.

A skilled mediator ensures children’s needs—not the narcissist’s ego—remain at the center.

5. Smear Campaigns and Reputation Attacks

They may spread rumors, exaggerate flaws, or try to isolate you from friends, family, or professionals.

Countermeasures:

• Stay grounded in your truth.
• Avoid engaging in character battles.
• Maintain strong boundaries and supportive relationships.

Mediation reduces the opportunities for public drama and helps you resolve issues privately and respectfully.

When You Feel Doubt or Resistance

It’s normal to worry: Will mediation still work if my ex is manipulative? Will I be steamrolled again? These concerns are real—and valid.

But mediation doesn’t mean surrender. It means structure. It means a trained professional ensures conversations stay productive, boundaries stay intact, and the narcissist can’t derail the process.

Many clients are surprised at how empowering mediation feels once they have someone guiding the process and enforcing fairness.

Take Your Next Step Toward Peace

You don’t have to keep spinning in circles. You don’t have to keep defending your sanity. You don’t have to let a narcissist dictate the tone or outcome of your divorce.

You can take back control.

Imagine this: a future where you’re no longer fighting the same exhausting battles… where decisions are made fairly… where your voice is finally heard.

That future is possible—and it starts with taking the first step.

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com

Member Article: Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program

Event Recap: Highlights from the Therapist of Color Mentorship Program (TOC) Dishes of Diversity Fall Event

Keonna Robinson, LMFT

Despite a rainy morning, the Therapist of Color Dishes of Diversity Fall Event blossomed into a vibrant celebration of culture, community, and connection. The rain couldn't dampen the spirits of our community, as over 20 culturally rich dishes graced our potluck, each telling a unique story of heritage and tradition. From savory to sweet, these dishes were a testament to the diverse culinary traditions that define our community.

The excitement didn't stop with the potluck. Our Threads of Connection merch designs were on full display along with our raffle, offering over $2000 in self-care prizes, was a highlight of the day. Attendees had the chance to win exclusive items like NBA Clippers Club Seat tickets, luxurious facials, a personal chef experience from CookinGenie, VIP tickets to The Broad Museum, handcrafted jewelry, wellness services, a drone, and free roller skating lessons. These prizes were thoughtfully curated to encourage therapists to step out of the office and embrace fun and relaxation.

A significant moment of the event was the presentation of the first TOC Recognition Awards, co-presented by the committee and our sponsor, Evolve Adolescent Behavioral Health. We recognized all 10 nominees and honored Toni Watson, LMFT with the Mentor Legacy of Inspiration Award and Cassie Butcher, AMFT with the Mentee Trailblazer of Excellence Award, celebrating their outstanding contributions and commitment to excellence as our 2025 mentorship participants.

The event also featured our innovative free Heritage Headshot offering, with over half of our guests participating. Captured by the published and talented Marcus Fort of MFortPhoto, these headshots allowed participants to incorporate culturally cherished items into their portraits, beautifully illustrating that culture and professionalism can coexist harmoniously.

The afternoon concluded with our uplifting liberation circle, where we celebrated each other’s strengths and achievements through a poem by Phil Santos called, “I Want You to Thrive.” Each guest left with a swag bag with handpicked items intentionally designed to empower! 

We extend our heartfelt thanks to all the volunteers, those who shared their cultural dishes, and everyone involved in making this event a powerful representation of when cultures of color unite to achieve authentic liberation in all facets of life. We look forward to seeing you all next year!

Congratulations to all of our 2025 mentors and mentees for completing another successful cohort of the TOC Mentorship Program. You all demonstrated such enthusiasm and motivation and we could not have been more proud. Continue utilizing the lessons learned and fostering new relationships that contribute to the success of your growing village.

Call for 2026 interested and returning Mentors and Mentees

We are actively looking for licensed professionals who are enthusiastic about guiding the next generation of therapists, as well as motivated mentees eager to learn and develop. If you're interested in returning as or becoming a mentor or mentee, stay tuned for our upcoming announcement regarding the launch of the 6th cohort of the Therapist of Color Mentorship Program. The Interest Forms for 2026 will open in February. For any inquiries or additional information, please reach out to us at tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org.

Keonna Robinson, MA, LMFT

TOC Mentorship Program Chair

TOC Mentorship Webpage

Email: Tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org 

Images: all images were taken and designed by Keonna Robinson using a personal smartphone device.

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee