Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


Voices — January 2025

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  • 12/20/2024 10:11 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    President's Message

    Akiah Selwa, LMFT
    LA-CAMFT President

    Happy New Year!

    I am honored and excited about leading the LA-CAMFT Board and chapter as the LA-CAMFT President this year. I have been a member of LA-CAMFT since 2017. During the past eight years, I have been a member of the Therapist of Color Support Group, the Black Therapist Support Group, the Chairwoman of the Diversity Committee, and the President-Elect.

    Why LA-CAMFT? Like most people, I'm a part of something significant because of a friend. My dear friend, former LA-CAMFT President 2023, Christina Cacho Sakai, LMFT, always gets me into good trouble! I heard and saw the great things my friend was doing in LA-CAMFT. I witnessed her growth as a leader and mental health professional. I wanted to be a part of an organization that did things to enrich and challenge the community of mental health providers in and outside Los Angeles County. I wanted to collaborate with other mental health professionals committed to equitable and inclusive practices. I wanted to be a member of a group that was open to conversations about our differences and willing to take genuine actions to change. I aim to continue this legacy and add something useful to it.

    A little bit about me…No joke, I accepted my calling as a healer at the age of twelve ( I still use the conflict resolution skills I learned in middle school as a Conflict Manager for my peers). Over the last three decades, I fulfilled my calling as a domestic violence prevention advocate, sexual assault prevention advocate, assistant chaplain, trafficking abolitionist, mixed media artist, social justice activist, foster care/adoptions therapist, community-based therapist, clinical supervisor, and program manager for high-risk populations, the owner of my private practice, and the recipient of several certifications (such as Brief-Strategic Family Therapy, Somatic Experiencing Adv III, and SoulCollage®).

    I have done a lot and learned so much on my journey thus far. Presently, I'm learning how to have an attitude of rest and hospitality. I'm more aware and taking action to decolonize my attitudes, practices, and focus, so that there is space for rest, joy, mistakes, wisdom, and creativity. I'm learning to create and maintain a physical and spiritual environment that invites me, my loved ones, and clients to be a true version of ourselves (hospitality). In short, I'm learning to move slower to move fast in the right direction.

    Practicing rest and hospitality does not mean I plan to nap during 2025 and only wake up to host fun gatherings. No, "Let's Rise from a Place of Rest!” means let's take good care of ourselves and each other, let's work together to achieve more as a collective, let's set healthy boundaries with time and wealth, let's work smarter, not harder, let's make more space to fail and learn from our mistakes, and let's be equitable with our decisions. I am not an expert yet on “Rising from a Place of Rest"; I will grow in expertise like you in the coming year.

    Can you imagine a world where everyone regularly enjoys rest? I know I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being exhausted and watching others push themselves beyond their capacity often. I hope this year, as your president, I can persuade you to reconsider rest and adopt rest as an essential component of your effectiveness as a mental health professional, I hope to promote rest and hospitality in LA-CAMFT and CAMFT by addressing the following five initiatives as the President of LA-CAMFT:

    1. Clarify identified systems and practices with written formats and procedures.
    2. Institute formal mentorship practices to pass down a legacy.
    3. Ensure that DEI practices are evident in all programming.
    4. Revive and restructure  SIG Groups.
    5. Foster and maintain collaborations with other Southern California  CAMFT chapters.

    I will reflect on each of these initiatives throughout the year in my monthly Voices article. I hope to dive deeper into each initiative to encourage and challenge your great work as a mental health professional.

    Akiah T. R. Selwa, LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a great sense of humor, a heart full of hope, and twenty-three years of experience as a psychotherapist. Akiah is the owner of Sunrise Therapy Center (STC) a private practice corporation that services all of California via a telehealth platform. Akiah approaches her work with cultural humility and humor that promotes acceptance, empowerment, spirituality, and creativity. Akiah will complete Somatic Experiencing training in 2025 with Somatic Experiencing International, is a certified SoulCollage® Facilitator (2024), and a currently in a two-year Spiritual Direction program with Stillpoint. When Akiah is not working as a therapist, she is a mixed media artist, having fun with my next crochet project, singing, or exploring nature.
  • 12/20/2024 10:08 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    January 2025
    CE Networking Event & 
    Presentation
    including Q&A

    Friday, January 17, 2025
    9:00am-11:00am

    Online Via Zoom

    2 CE Credits

    Psychodynamics of Transphobia

    with Gretchen Anne Cooper, M.A., LMFT

    & Amber Lynn, B.S.

    This workshop focuses on the clinical implications of transphobia and specific interventions on overcoming it, starting with a basic overview of the gender binary and the impact of these messages on the Trans community. Clinicians will learn how to recognize and respond to microaggressions and assist clients in self-advocacy. The training will review how clinicians can help clients identify factors that influence their self-esteem, create counterstatements, and set boundaries about their identities with others. Participants will have the opportunity to engage in smaller discussion groups with the goal of uncovering their own internalized negative messages and identities, in order to be more effective as clinicians. The training will conclude with best clinical practices to implement in their work.

    Educational Goals/Learning Objectives:

    The workshop is designed for clinicians with some background working with people of transgender experience and within the queer community. Clinicians will learn interventions to utilize with this specific population that directly combat internalized trans-negativity, as well as gain insight into their own identities and experiences with microaggressions to better understand the subtleties of these messages.

    At the end of this presentation, participants will be able to:

    1. Identify transphobia/trans-negativity with specific examples.
    2. Identify three interventions for decreasing internalized transphobia.
    3. Name three ways a therapist can create a safe therapeutic space.

    Presenter(s):

        Gretchen Anne Cooper, M.A., LMFT (she/her) is currently in private practice in California and adjunct faculty at Antioch University under the LGBTQ+ specialization. Before private practice, Gretchen worked in community mental health for the county, where she acquired a passion for serving individuals from a multitude of backgrounds, especially working with LGBTQIA+ youth. Gretchen specializes in working with adults, LGBTQ+, adolescents, the unhoused and children. Gretchen has been published in The Therapist, Family Therapy, and SAGE magazines. Her sister is transgender and Gretchen, herself, is also a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

            Amber Lynn, B.S. (she/her) is a person of Trans experience. She recently graduated from UCSB with a degree in engineering and recently obtained her certification for five-point acupuncture. Amber is a life coach working and empowering others of trans experience to live their authentic selves.



            For more information, contact Course Organizer/CE Networking Chair Alexandra Levins-Trail.

            Event Details:

            For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, Students, & Related Professionals

            When: Friday, January 17, 2024 from 9:00am-11:00am

                        8:30-9:00: Check-In
                        9:00: Meeting/Presentation Begins
                        11:00: Meeting/Presentation & Related Announcements End
                        11:00-11:30: Participant Announcements (optional)

            If you are interested in expanding your professional networking, sign up for Participant Announcements when you register. This segment is from 11:00am-11:30am, and is an optional 1/2 hour after the presentation.

            After the presentation we will provide you with a link to a simple online test and evaluation questionnaire. When the test questions and the evaluation are completed, you will be provided with an online CE Certificate that can be personalized with your name and license information and either printed or saved on your computer.

            Where: Online Via Zoom (Your registration confirmation email will include the Zoom link and instructions for accessing the event. A reminder email will be sent prior to the event.)

            Cost:
            $25 for LA-CAMFT Members
            Other CAMFT Chapter Members
            CSCSW Members
            $15 for Prelicensed Members
            Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members
            $35 for Non-Members
            $20 for Prelicensed Non-Members

            *Registration closes Thursday, January 16 at 10:00pm.*

            (To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add networkingchair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)

            Register online today! We look forward to seeing you on Zoom.

            CAMFT Approved Continuing Education Provider 59450. LA-CAMFT is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs. LA-CAMFT maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.

            This course meets the qualifications for 2 continuing education credits for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.

            To receive CE certificate: Participants must sign in/sign out, and must complete an evaluation form upon course completion. For a Course Schedule, please contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

            Refund policy: 48-hour notice required for refund of fee minus $5.00 administrative cost. Exceptions can be made for 48-hour notice in cases of emergency. Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

            Accommodations for Special Needs: Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

            Grievances: Program Administrator/CFO manages all grievances—and will acknowledge, investigate and remedy grievances. Response to grievances will be made in writing within 30 days. Contact them at cfo@lacamft.org.


          1. 12/20/2024 10:05 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

            Editor's Note

            Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT
            Voices Editor

            Getting Paid: Professional Self Care—The Secret to A Successful, Sustainable Private Practice, Career Longevity & Happiness

            In the process of providing support to others, it's easy for us as psychotherapists to neglect our own well-being. This is where professional self-care comes in. The secret to a successful and profitable psychotherapy practice lies in our ability to care for ourselves as we care for others. 

            Professional self-care, including setting boundaries, taking regular breaks, seeking supervision or peer support, helps mental health professionals maintain emotional resilience and avoid burnout. When well-rested and emotionally balanced, we provide better care to clients, leading to higher client satisfaction and retention.

            It’s also a path to personal growth and resilience. Counselors who engage in self-care activities like ongoing education, supervision, and personal therapy continue to develop skills and expand their knowledge base.

            When therapists are overworked and stressed, they struggle to maintain appropriate boundaries, protect client confidentiality, and make sound clinical judgments. By prioritizing self-care, we can uphold the highest ethical standards in our practice, safeguarding our therapeutic reputation and profitability in the long run.

            A therapist's own well-being can also directly impact the ability to facilitate positive change in clients—since clients who perceive a therapist as a model of self-care are more likely to engage in their own self-care practices. This leads to improved client outcomes and referrals, ultimately contributing to the profitability of our practice and career.

            Self-care also nurtures a therapist's resilience and enables us to cope with the emotional demands of the job. Resilient therapists better adapt to changing circumstances, handle difficult cases, and bounce back from setbacks—all which are crucial for a thriving practice and career.

            Professional self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. It isn't selfish; it's the foundation upon which success is built.

            Here are 12 practical, supportive tips and inspiration for professional self-care selected from articles used with those I do practice coaching, training, supervision, and consultation. Links to the articles or books are included. 

            1. May you be moved by passion and enthusiasm for your work, may you deeply believe that you deserve self-care, may you replenish yourself daily, may inspiration be a guiding compass to your days, may you know you are a bright light in a world that needs your presence, may you be an instrument of help and healing and may your cup overflow so that there is plenty to share.

            Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW

            Simple Self-Care for Therapists: Restorative Practices to Weave Through Your Workday 

            2. I have always been better at caring for and looking after others than I have been at caring for myself. But in these later years, I have made progress.

            Carl Rogers at age 75

            3. Self-care is living your life in a way that is physically and mentally sustainable. As a therapist, a good self-care practice allows you to maintain your well-being so that you don’t deplete your own energy to care for your clients.

            Melanie Donohue, LCSW

            Why Self-care Is So Important for Therapists

            4. We all have times when the stress of our clinical work causes us to become exhausted, anxious and agitated. Some of us are suffering now, or have suffered, from distress, compassion fatigue or burnout. All are occupational hazards. We’ve discovered that our inner reserves of empathy aren’t infinite. Becoming more self-aware helps us to know the limits of what is possible in our own lives as well as in the lives of our clients. 

            Vivian Baruch

            Self-Care for Therapists

            5. Prioritizing self-care is not a luxury; it is a necessity for therapists. Engaging in regular and intentional self-care practices can have a profound impact on our well-being and professional effectiveness. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to provide quality care to our clients.

            Caroline Rou

            Nurturing the Healer: Effective Therapist Self-Care Tools Unveiled

            6. What does true work-life-balance look like? How is it achieved? Having a healthy balance between work and your personal life means that you are practicing professional self-care. Prioritizing this type of self-care often takes practice, especially since work is a huge aspect of our daily lives. Sometimes it can be difficult to turn off our “working brains” at the end of a work day, and the line between our professional and personal lives begins to blur.

            While a lot of forms of self-care are practiced on people’s own time, professional self-care is something that can also be incorporated into the work day. 

            OregonCounseling.com

            Professional Self-Care: Self-Care Series (Part 2)

            7. When therapists neglect their own self-care by taking on more clients than they can reasonably fit into their schedules, working long hours to satisfy clients, and answering phone calls and emails around the clock, they may think they are doing clients a favor, when in reality they are setting themselves up for burnout. 

            Chris Howard, CADC-III, CCMI-M

            Yes, International Self-Care Day is for Therapists Too

            8. Professional self-care shows in the habits and routines you use to keep a healthy separation between your personal life and your work, for example:

            ·       Being able to set and honor clear boundaries with your time—“These are the hours I work. These are the hours I’m available.”

            ·       Having restorative activities in your life other than work—You can take the time you need at day’s end to transition from work to home life. You can enjoy your personal time and close relationships without feeling intrusions from work.

            ·       Giving yourself access to consultation with colleagues—You have other clinicians to collaborate with; you can reach out to someone about professional challenges.

            ·       Making sure that you are well educated—You remain updated with approaches and skills to respond effectively during client interactions. You can rely on a full range of therapeutic tools and techniques that come to you naturally during sessions with clients, and you are nurturing your strengths.

            Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT 

            Good Self-Care for Therapists

            9. Micro Self-Care Vs. Self-Violence. The hard truth is that when you don’t take care of yourself, then you’re doing harm (violence) to yourself. It’s time to start thinking of self-care as a form of self-love and self-respect. It is not selfish to take care of yourself; it is necessary. So, the next time you find yourself skipping meals, not drinking water, or working long hours without a break, remember that you are worthy of self-care. 

            Laura Reagan

            Micro Self-Care for Helping Professionals 

            10. When counselors are isolated, whether working in rural areas or working as sole private practitioners, maintaining wellness can pose an even bigger challenge. Without other colleagues to learn from, vent with or lean on for support, stress is more likely to build unimpeded. Experts say finding a support system, whether through formal supervision or an informal network of other professionals to meet with for consultation and camaraderie, is vital.

            Lynne Shallcross

            Taking Care of Yourself As A Counselor

            11. My best tip for self-care is to never, ever let it fall to the back burner. It always has to be top of mind. As care givers there will be many times in your career that you will feel that you should put your self-care last in order to take care of others. It’s never a good idea. Think about your longevity in the profession and your future clients, and make self-care decisions very, very carefully.

            Jessica Sweet

            WishingYouWellCoach.Com

            12. The practice of self-care is an ongoing endeavor. We are never done with self-care; it must be engaged in throughout our careers. As our life circumstances change over time, so too should our self-care practices.

            Jeffrey E. Barnett

            Distress, Therapist Burnout, Self-Care, and the Promotion of Wellness for Psychotherapists and Trainees

            Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visiwww.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.

          2. 12/20/2024 10:03 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

            Therapists of Color (TOC) Grant Award Committee

            LA-CAMFT's Therapists of Color Grant Award: Grant Award Registration Opens January 2, 2025

            Marvin Whistler, Mediator

            On October 27, 2024, the most recent awardees of the LA-CAMFT TOC GRANT AWARD were randomly selected. They are Javan Taherkhani and Matthew Herrera. Each will receive $530, free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

            The next cycle for the grant will begin on January 2, 2025. It is limited to members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year.

            Description of Grant Stipend

            Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.

            Grant winners will receive

            • $530 to be spent at the winner’s discretion
            • Free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events of the winner’s
            • choosing with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

            The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the what money is used will not be required.

            Application and Selection Process

            Interested members can complete the application on the LA-CAMFT website. The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one’s trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly.

            Registration for the next award cycle will open on January 2, 2025, and will close on February 22, 2025. The drawing will take place on February 23, 2025.

            Best regards,

            The LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Committee

          3. 12/20/2024 10:00 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

            Guest Article

            The Wealthy Spirit: Luck, Loss and Gambling

            Chellie Campbell, Financial StresReduction Expert

            This is the story of an exciting night of poker!

            I was playing my favorite game, Omaha High-Low, and things weren't going great. I would just miss making my hand or make a second-best hand and I was getting a little grumpy. But I said my affirmations under my breath, and just felt things would turn around.

            My good friend, Debby, was in the game and she was going up and down, too, when this hand developed:

            The board (community cards) was 8-10 of diamonds and 5 of clubs. She checked, I checked, and the man behind us bet. We called. The turn (the next card on the board) was the 8 of hearts which paired the board. We both checked and the man bet again. We called.

            The final card was the 9 of diamonds. It was my magic card! I had the Jack-Queen of Diamonds in my hand and that made me a straight flush 8-9-10-J-Q of Diamonds! Debby checked to me, I checked because I thought the man would bet and I could raise. But he checked, too.

            So Debby turns over the 7-6 of Diamonds and says, "Well, I have a straight flush!"

            I was shocked because I hadn't even thought there was another straight flush out there.

            My mouth dropped open and I said, "I have a straight flush, too!!" 

            And we both started screaming, the other players at the table jumped up and cheered, because that meant we had won the "bad beat jackpot" of $30,400! The bad beat in our game was four 9s or better beaten, so we qualified 50% goes to the losing hand and 25% to the person that won the hand and the players at the table split the remaining 25%. 

            Debby got $15,200, I got $7,600, and the other players got $1,500.

            Happy winning for all!

            Never forget that even when it seems like you're losing, a big win can come along and save the day.

            Just so you know, I’ve won 31 jackpots over the last 20 years and 5 of those years were during Covid when I didn’t play at all. My total jackpot wins are $133,466.

            I once won 3 jackpots in one week for a total of $14,450!

            Maybe you’d like to change your mind and change your money? Think LUCKY!!

            Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expertis the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebookwith participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.

          4. 12/20/2024 9:55 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


            LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
            presents

            (MENA)
            Middle Eastern North African 
            Therapists Community Group

            First Monday of Every Month

            Next Meeting:
            Monday, January 6, 2025
            9:30am-10:30am

            Online Via Zoom

            Free Registration

            The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.

            Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing mena.lacamft@gmail.com.

              Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

              For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

              Event Details:

              For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

              When: Monday, January 6, 2025 from 9:30am-10:30am

              Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

              Cost: No charge

              Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan

              *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


            1. 12/20/2024 9:55 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

              Member Article

              7 Steps to New Connections

              Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

              Through the years, I’ve seen how empowering it is for individuals to build fresh connections, finding people who offer genuine companionship and shared interests. I’ve also seen how divorce mediation can help create smoother transitions and a greater sense of closure. Here are seven practical steps to help you start rebuilding your social circle with confidence.

              1. Start with Existing Relationships You Value

              Before venturing out, consider the friends and family who’ve been supportive. They’re often eager to stay connected but may feel uncertain about how to approach you. Reach out to a few close friends or family members who can anchor your circle while you rebuild.

              • Tip: Schedule regular meet-ups or check-ins with those who truly understand you. Consistent connection helps you feel grounded.

              2. Rediscover Personal Interests and Hobbies

              During marriage, it’s easy to set aside your personal interests. Now is a perfect time to revisit old hobbies or discover new ones. Whether it’s joining a hiking group, taking a cooking class, or volunteering, activities centered around your passions can naturally lead to authentic friendships.

              • Tip: Studies show that people who engage in hobbies feel a greater sense of fulfillment and connection, even with new acquaintances.

              3. Seek Supportive Groups

              Joining divorce support groups or clubs dedicated to individuals in transition provides understanding and empathy. Such groups create a space to share experiences, gain insights, and even form lasting friendships with people who truly “get” what you’re going through.

              • Tip: Many local communities and online platforms offer support groups, often moderated by professionals to foster a safe and compassionate environment.

              4. Focus on Reciprocal Friendships

              When building new relationships, focus on mutual support rather than one-sided dependency. Look for people who are also open to new connections, and avoid placing unrealistic expectations on these new friends to fulfill all your social needs.

              • Tip: Research shows that balanced, reciprocal friendships are more likely to thrive, bringing greater happiness and longevity to both parties involved.

              5. Try Volunteering to Expand Your Network

              Volunteering is a powerful way to meet people who value giving back, making it a natural way to create deeper connections based on shared compassion and purpose.

              • Tip: Look for local volunteer events or causes that resonate with you. Volunteering doesn’t just help others—it strengthens your own sense of purpose and belonging.

              6. Use Social Media Wisely

              Social media can be both a blessing and a burden after divorce. Use it intentionally to connect with people and find supportive groups, but be mindful of how much you engage. Avoid comparing your life to the curated lives of others, and focus instead on using these platforms to foster genuine relationships.

              • Tip: Follow groups or accounts that offer positivity, inspiration, and support for people moving forward after divorce.

              7. Consider Professional Mediation for a Fresh Start

              Divorce mediation is an effective way to find closure, helping both parties communicate better and transition smoothly. As you focus on healing, mediation offers a chance to resolve lingering conflicts, which can, in turn, ease social transitions by reducing the emotional baggage carried into new relationships.

              Embrace Your New Chapter: Begin Building Your Social Circle Today

              Many people worry that it’s too late to make new friends or that their previous social circle was “enough.” However, studies highlight that forming new connections is possible at any stage of life. Rebuilding is about finding people who resonate with your current season, not merely filling an empty space.

              It’s time to step forward and build connections that align with who you are now. Rebuilding your social circle might feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to take the first step, consider reaching out for mediation support that can help clear emotional hurdles, paving the way for new friendships.

              You’re not only rebuilding your social circle—you’re reclaiming your life on your terms.

              Steven UnruhMA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFTHe and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child supportalong with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern CaliforniaWebsite: stevenunruh.com.

            2. 12/20/2024 9:55 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

              stay tuned

            3. 12/20/2024 9:52 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

              Guest Article

              Finding Peace and Belonging: EMDR for Older Adults

              Kim Scott, LMFT

              As our clients journey through the later chapters of life, the aging process often brings a blend of opportunities for reflection and unique emotional challenges. For some, the weight of past experiences or fears about the future can cast a long shadow over the present. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) offers a compassionate and effective approach to helping older adults navigate these challenges, creating space for healing, growth, and renewed clarity. EMDR can also complement other therapeutic modalities, adding depth to our work.

              At its core, EMDR supports clients in reprocessing emotionally charged memories that continue to impact their current thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. By addressing the memories, emotional intensity, and vividness, EMDR helps to release negative beliefs that clients may have internalized. For example, an older adult estranged from their children might unconsciously adopt the painful belief that they are unlovable, even when the reality of the situation is far more nuanced.

              Some of the most common emotionally charged experiences that EMDR can help older clients address include: 

              • Grief and trauma related to the loss of loved ones.
              • Fears surrounding mortality and end-of-life concerns.
              • Medical traumas and associated anxieties.
              • Regret over past decisions or unresolved conflicts.

              Aging often comes with profound losses. By their senior years, clients may have said goodbye to parents, a spouse, dear friends, and perhaps even a child. While these losses naturally call for grief, they can also stir deeper fears about what lies ahead. For instance, a client who witnessed a parent’s painful final years following a stroke may live with a persistent fear that they will face a similar fate. This can lead to sleepless nights and worries about who will care for them if they become ill.

              Similarly, clients who have watched friends face terminal illnesses may begin to wrestle with their own mortality. Questions about the unknown—Will it be painful? Will it be prolonged? Will I be alone?—can linger. These fears often carry a deeper existential layer: Has my life been meaningful? Will anyone remember me when I’m gone?

              Beyond the memories themselves, the beliefs clients form around these experiences are often stored as unresolved trauma. These Negative Cognitions become part of their narrative, shaping how they view themselves and their place in the world.

              Francine Shapiro, the founder of EMDR Therapy, identified the following four key categories of Negative Cognition in her book, "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures”:

              • Responsibility/Defectiveness (Self-Worth/Shame): Beliefs such as “I am bad,” “I am unlovable,” or “I don’t matter” reflect feelings of inherent inadequacy or shame.
              • Responsibility/Action (Action/Guilt): These beliefs center on guilt or personal failure, expressed as “It was all my fault,” “I am inadequate,” or “I am weak.”
              • Control/Choices: When clients feel powerless, they may hold beliefs like “I am helpless,” “I am powerless,” or “I can’t handle this.”
              • Connection/Belonging: These beliefs—such as “I can’t connect,” “I am invisible,” or “I am alone”—are often rooted in isolation, loneliness, or the effects of ageism, which is especially significant for older clients.

              As a certified EMDR therapist, I regularly work with clients to transform their internalized negative beliefs into ones that foster self-worth, strength, and belonging. Through EMDR, clients can begin to recognize the irrationality of these beliefs not only on a cognitive level but also on a deeply felt emotional level. This process helps them not only change how they think about themselves but also how they feel about themselves.

              A key part of this transformation involves helping clients articulate a Positive Cognition—a belief they would rather hold about themselves. For example, instead of “I don’t belong,” a client might work toward embracing “I can belong” or “I deserve to belong.” These positive beliefs provide a direction for therapy and serve as anchors for a more compassionate and empowered self-view.

              It’s important to remember that the brain retains the capacity for change and growth regardless of age. EMDR harnesses this potential, helping older clients unpack, process, and reframe distressing memories, fears, and losses.

              When working with older clients, most aspects of EMDR remain the same as with any adult, but there are a few important considerations:

              • Resource Development: Focus on building emotional resources so clients can manage and compartmentalize the material processed between sessions. This is especially important for clients who live alone or have limited social support.
              • Pacing: Move at a pace that is comfortable for the client, taking a gradual approach when needed.
              • Physical Accommodations: Ensure that clients with physical challenges are comfortable and adapt bilateral stimulation methods to suit their needs.
              • Memory Considerations: Reassure clients that exact memories or details are not as important as the felt experience during EMDR.
              • Connection/Belonging: Pay special attention to this category, as isolation and loneliness can significantly impact older clients’ sense of belonging.
              Grief, loss, end-of-life concerns, medical traumas, and regrets are common themes among older clients. EMDR provides a pathway to release the weight of these fears and unresolved experiences, helping clients build resilience and discover new perspectives. Through this process, clients can cultivate a sense of peace, connection, and meaning as they reflect on their lives.

              Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com

            4. 12/20/2024 9:51 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

              stay tuned

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