Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


Voices — February 2025

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  • 01/20/2025 11:33 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    President's Message

    Akiah Selwa, LMFT
    LA-CAMFT President

    Leaving a Legacy Gift

    Welcome to the Voices February newsletter!

    This month, I want to talk with you about why I chose the initiative “Clarify identified systems and practices with written formats and procedures.”

    Please do not stop reading; I will not drone on about boring administrative ideas.

    I’m always interested in the heart of a manner and prefer looking at the origin. For me, “clarify identified systems and practices with written formats and procedures” is an act of restorative justice. It’s an opportunity to leave a legacy gift rather than a legacy burden.

    Disorganization is stressful and distracting. Interrupting life-giving organization and structure habitually can be traumatic and is the primal nefarious intent of oppression and abuse. So, exercising our freedom to create and maintain an organized system is liberating.

    This idea of clarifying identified systems and practices with written formats and procedures does not suggest that the LA-CAMFT board or membership is disorganized. Absolutely not!

    As a member of the LA-CAMFT board and a LA-CAMFT member who has spent time talking with many fellow LA-CAMFT members, I have found that we are a considerate group of people interested in doing things well and doing meaningful work. I suggest that we build on the legacy of prior LA-CAMFT leadership and take things to the next level!

    When we have thoughtful systems and procedures in place, our work is much easier and more congruent. We can spend our time on other tasks, have a greater capacity for creativity, and are more likely to allow rest.

    I will say more about mentorship and legacy in the Voices March newsletter, but for now, useful structure and organization enrich interpersonal connections and bolster the likelihood of passing down the history to the next generation.

    This year, I plan to challenge myself and our LA-CAMFT board to ensure that our chapter’s values and aims are clearly reflected in all our practices, resources, and documentation.

    In closing, I would like to leave you with the famous words of the wise Maya Angelou, poet, activist, and phenomenal human being: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” Let’s continue the legacy and do better, y’all!

    If you are interested in learning more about being an LA-CAMFT board member and, more specifically, how we plan to do better as a board regarding written formats and procedures, please attend any of our open board meetings.

    Anyone is welcome to attend any of our open LA-CAMFT Board Meetings. Note that only board members may speak and vote during the meeting. For upcoming LA-CAMFT board meeting dates, please refer to our website calendar of events. To receive a link to attend the online board meeting, please send your email request to president@lacamft.org. Our board looks forward to hosting you!

    Akiah T. R. Selwa, LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a great sense of humor, a heart full of hope, and twenty-three years of experience as a psychotherapist. Akiah is the owner of Sunrise Therapy Center (STC) a private practice corporation that services all of California via a telehealth platform. Akiah approaches her work with cultural humility and humor that promotes acceptance, empowerment, spirituality, and creativity. Akiah will complete Somatic Experiencing training in 2025 with Somatic Experiencing International, is a certified SoulCollage® Facilitator (2024), and a currently in a two-year Spiritual Direction program with Stillpoint. When Akiah is not working as a therapist, she is a mixed media artist, having fun with my next crochet project, singing, or exploring nature.

  • 01/20/2025 11:31 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

    February 2025
    CE Networking Event & 
    Presentation
    including Q&A

    Friday, February 21, 2025
    9:00am-11:00am

    Online Via Zoom

    2 CE Credits

    Connecting Across Cultures: An Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) for Intercultural Relationships

    with Nadia Alvarez, M.S., LMFT

    This presentation offers an in-depth introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), an evidence-based approach for strengthening emotional bonds in couples. Focusing on EFT’s core concepts, attendees will learn how to identify and transform negative interaction cycles and address attachment needs, building a foundation for more secure and responsive relationships. Special attention will be given to the unique dynamics of intercultural couples, including how EFT can help navigate cultural misunderstandings, attachment conflicts, and divergent family expectations.

    Educational Goals/Learning Objectives:

    Participants will learn about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and its application in supporting intercultural couples.

    At the end of this presentation, participants will be able to:

    1. Identify the core concepts and stages of the EFT model.
    2. Describe common relational challenges in couples and how they affect attachment dynamics.
    3. Apply EFT techniques to help intercultural couples navigate cultural differences and strengthen emotional connection.

      Presenter:

          Nadia Alvarez, M.S., LMFT (she/her/ella) is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Highland Park. Social justice, intersectionalism, and anti-oppression values deeply inform her work. She has a background in working with diverse populations with anxiety, depression, identity exploration, and trauma. Nadia is a certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFCT) and is an EFCT Supervisor in training. She specializes in working with intercultural couples.

          For more information, contact Course Organizer/CE Networking Chair Alexandra Levins-Trail.

          Event Details:

          For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, Students, & Related Professionals

          When: Friday, February 21, 2025 from 9:00am-11:00am

                      8:30-9:00: Check-In
                      9:00: Meeting/Presentation Begins
                      11:00: Meeting/Presentation & Related Announcements End
                      11:00-11:30: Participant Announcements (optional)

          If you are interested in expanding your professional networking, sign up for Participant Announcements when you register. This segment is from 11:00am-11:30am, and is an optional 1/2 hour after the presentation.

          After the presentation we will provide you with a link to a simple online test and evaluation questionnaire. When the test questions and the evaluation are completed, you will be provided with an online CE Certificate that can be personalized with your name and license information and either printed or saved on your computer.

          Where: Online Via Zoom (Your registration confirmation email will include the Zoom link and instructions for accessing the event. A reminder email will be sent prior to the event.)

          Cost:
          $25 for LA-CAMFT Members
          Other CAMFT Chapter Members
          CSCSW Members
          $15 for Prelicensed Members
          Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members
          $35 for Non-Members
          $20 for Prelicensed Non-Members

          *Registration closes Thursday, February 20 at 10:00pm.*

          (To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add networkingchair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)

          Register online today! We look forward to seeing you on Zoom.

          CAMFT Approved Continuing Education Provider 59450. LA-CAMFT is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs. LA-CAMFT maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.

          This course meets the qualifications for 2 continuing education credits for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.

          To receive CE certificate: Participants must sign in/sign out, and must complete an evaluation form upon course completion. For a Course Schedule, please contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

          Refund policy: 48-hour notice required for refund of fee minus $5.00 administrative cost. Exceptions can be made for 48-hour notice in cases of emergency. Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

          Accommodations for Special Needs: Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.

          Grievances: Program Administrator/CFO manages all grievances—and will acknowledge, investigate and remedy grievances. Response to grievances will be made in writing within 30 days. Contact them at cfo@lacamft.org.


        1. 01/20/2025 11:30 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

          Editor's Note

          Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT
          Voices Editor

          Getting Paid: The Power of Specializing and Identifying Your Niche in Private Practice

          Standing Out in Today’s Market

          In today's marketplace having a niche, and being clear about what it is, allows a therapist to carve out a distinct identity and differentiate their practice from others in their local area and in the profession.

          By identifying and specializing in a particular area of expertise—whether it's trauma therapy, working with children or teens, couples counseling, or mindfulness-based interventions—a therapist positions themself as a go-to authority in their area of practice. Also, today, potential clients are more likely to seek out specialists for their unique psychotherapy needs, making it easier for people to find and choose you and the services you provide.

          Establish Your Expertise and Credibility

          Specializing in a niche solidifies a therapist’s reputation as an expert or a professional with knowledge and experience in their chosen area. Clients are drawn to practitioners who demonstrate deep knowledge and experience in addressing their specific concerns—ADHD, LGBTQIA+, Multi-racial, Pre-natal, Chronic Illness, etc.

          By honing your skills and staying abreast of the latest developments in your therapeutic niche, you build trust and credibility with both clients, colleagues, job recruiters, and referral sources. This expertise not only attracts more clients to your practice but also helps you fosters a sense of confidence and satisfaction in your work as a therapist.

          Reduce the Likelihood of Burnout

          One of the greatest challenges facing private practice owners is the risk of burnout. Working with a diverse range of clients with varying needs and issues can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. Having a niche allows therapists to focus their energy and resources on serving a specific population that aligns with their interests and strengths. By working primarily with clients who fit within a therapist’s niche, a therapist can reduce the likelihood of experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout.

          Attract Your Ideal Clients

          When a therapist specializes in a niche, the therapist attracts clients who are a better fit for their practice and therapeutic approach. These "ideal clients" are more likely to be motivated, engaged, and receptive to the therapist’s interventions. By working with clients who resonate with your niche as a therapist, you create a more fulfilling and effective therapeutic experience for you and your clients. This alignment leads to better outcomes, increased client satisfaction, and stronger therapeutic relationships.

          Enhancing Referral Networks

          Having a niche or specialty makes it easier to establish and maintain referral networks with other professionals in your field. When colleagues know exactly what type of clients you specialize in, they're more likely to refer suitable clients or job opportunities your way. This targeted approach to networking not only generates more referrals but also strengthens collaborative relationships with other practitioners and related professionals. As a result, the therapist becomes an integral part of a supportive network of professionals who are aware of and sensitive to your passion and vision.

          Conclusion

          In the realm of private practice, having a niche isn't just a luxury; it's a strategic advantage. Specializing in a specific area of expertise allows a therapist to stand out in the marketplace, establishes the therapist as an expert, as well as attracts their most ideal clients, and reduces their risk of burnout.

          When therapists focus their efforts on a niche that aligns with their interests and strengths, they are more likely to create a thriving practice that not only meets the needs of their clients but also nourishes the therapist’s own well-being and professional fulfillment.

          Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visiwww.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.

        2. 01/20/2025 10:13 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)
          Therapists of Color (TOC) Grant Award Committee

          LA-CAMFT's Therapists of Color Grant Award: Grant Award Registration Opens January 2, 2025

          Marvin Whistler, Mediator

          On October 27, 2024, the most recent awardees of the LA-CAMFT TOC GRANT AWARD were randomly selected. They are Javan Taherkhani and Matthew Herrera. Each will receive $530, free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

          The next cycle for the grant will begin on January 2, 2025. It is limited to members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year.

          If you are not an LA-CAMFT member, you must first join LA-CAMFT in order to apply for the award. If you are a member of LA-CAMFT, please be sure you are logged in to your account to be able to see the application page linked below.

          Description of Grant Stipend

          Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.

          Grant winners will receive

          • $530 to be spent at the winner’s discretion
          • Free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events of the winner’s
          • choosing with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

          The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the what money is used will not be required.

          Application and Selection Process

          Interested members can complete the Grant Award Application on the LA-CAMFT website.

          The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one’s trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly.

          Registration for the next award cycle will open on January 2, 2025, and will close on February 22, 2025. The drawing will take place on February 23, 2025.

          Best regards,

          The LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Committee

        3. 01/20/2025 10:12 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

          Guest Article

          6 Tips to Help Parents of Adult Kids Build Strong and Satisfying Relationships

          Kim Scott, LMFT

          Many of my clients come to therapy seeking support around their relationships with their adult children. They often express sadness when family visits are infrequent, frustration over limited time with their grandchildren, or concerns about the life choices their adult children are making. Tensions may arise from differing values, political beliefs, or simply conflicting desires for closeness or space. These complex emotions are a natural part of evolving family dynamics.

          Here are some tips that may help your clients nurture loving, close relationships with their grown children:

          1. Embrace a New Relationship Dynamic

          Adult children are no longer kids, so building a new kind of relationship is essential. It can be challenging for parents to accept their changing role in their children’s lives. This shift often involves grieving the loss of day-to-day contact or the feeling of not being needed as much as they once were.

          Parents may long for daily chats, shared holidays, or being present for key life events like the birth of a grandchild. However, adult children may have different expectations for contact and involvement. They might deeply love their parents but still desire more independence or space, which can be healthy and necessary for their personal growth.

          Just as friendships vary in closeness and frequency of contact, relationships with adult children also take different forms. Some adult children may want regular interaction, while others might prefer occasional check-ins. Recognizing and adapting to their child’s preferences while sharing their own fosters mutual respect and stronger connections.

          2. Stay in Your Own Lane

          It’s common for parents to have opinions and concerns about their adult children’s parenting style, eating habits, life partners, or lifestyle choices. I remind my clients that these are their children’s choices, not theirs, and staying in their own lane is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.

          When children are younger, the parent’s role is clear: setting rules, establishing values, and guiding behavior. With adult children, the role changes—you move from being the boss to being a consultant. As a consultant, unsolicited advice is often viewed as criticism. Instead of freely offering opinions, take a step back. Listen to your child and seek to understand their thoughts, needs, and experiences—just as you would with a friend. 

          Some of my clients worry that this approach requires them to “walk on eggshells.” I offer a reframe: In all meaningful relationships, choosing our words with care and consideration is a sign of respect, not restriction.

          3. Notice Your Expectations and Keep Them in Check

          Unspoken expectations often lead to disappointment, resentment, and guilt in family relationships. For example, your client may assume that their adult child will call weekly, have dinner with them every Sunday night, or care for them when they are older. If your client does not express and discuss these expectations with their children, your client may feel hurt or frustrated when their expectations are not met.

          Encourage your clients to take time to identify and reflect on their expectations. They may also benefit from asking themselves if they have clearly communicated their expectations and desires to their children. Making implicit expectations explicit is key to co-creating a healthy relationship with their children. Open, honest conversations about needs and boundaries can reduce tension and build greater understanding.

          4. Let Go of Past Narratives

          It’s natural for parents to hold onto old narratives about their children—like viewing a once-forgetful son as someone who always loses his keys or a once-shy daughter as someone who struggles socially. However, these outdated perspectives can prevent your client from seeing and appreciating who their child has become, which will hurt their relationship.

          I encourage my clients to let go of old stories, resentments, and even unfulfilled dreams they once held for their children. When parents release the past, they allow their adult children to show up as their true selves, creating space for a more authentic, fulfilling relationship.

          5. Offer the Support Your Child Wants (Not Just What You Want to Give)

          One of the most important questions to consider is: What kind of support is your child asking for? I often ask my clients to reflect on this in therapy. Sometimes, adult children want advice; other times, they just want to be heard. 

          For example, simply teaching our clients to resist the urge to jump in with solutions when their child shares a problem, unless they specifically ask for help, can be very helpful. Instead, we should teach our clients to offer empathy and acknowledgment: “That sounds really hard. I’m here for you.” We can also coach our clients to ask their children how they can be of help.  Adult children often need to feel seen, heard, and trusted to navigate their own lives.

          6. Make Time to Have Fun Together

          It can also be helpful to remind our clients that the old saying, “The family that plays together stays together,” holds a lot of truth. Shared joy and laughter can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories. Explore what activities both your client and their adult child enjoy and work with them on incorporating more play into their relationship.

          These moments of connection remind us that relationships don’t have to be all about resolving conflicts or serious discussions. Simply enjoying each other’s company can go a long way toward building a strong, satisfying relationship.

          As therapists, we are in an excellent position to help our clients navigate this time of change in their families. Building and maintaining healthy relationships with adult children is a journey that requires patience, flexibility, and self-reflection. By embracing change, setting healthy boundaries, and focusing on connection, you can help your clients create a meaningful bond with their children that evolves and grows over the years.

          Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com

        4. 01/20/2025 10:10 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


          LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
          presents

          (MENA)
          Middle Eastern North African 
          Therapists Community Group

          First Monday of Every Month

          Next Meeting:
          Monday, February 3, 2025
          9:30am-10:30am

          Online Via Zoom

          Free Registration

          The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.

          Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing mena.lacamft@gmail.com.

            Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

            For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

            Event Details:

            For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

            When: Monday, February 3, 2025 from 9:30am-10:30am

            Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

            Cost: No charge

            Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan

            *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


          1. 01/20/2025 10:08 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

            Guest Article

            I Am Blessed and I Am Thankful – from “The Wealthy Spirit”

            Chellie Campbell, Financial StresReduction Expert

            "Great things are only possible with outrageous requests." -Thea Alexander

            That you are reading this book today is a testament to the vision, resilience, drive and determination of my wonderful agent, Lisa Hagan.  

            Introduced through mutual friends, we took to each other immediately (My People!), signed a contract, and the search for the right publisher began. We emailed each other often along the way. There was interest, there were rejections, there were “yeah, buts.”  

            Once we had a publisher who said yes, we cheered and celebrated…for four days. Then the deal fell through. We were crushed. 

            Lisa emailed me the next day: 

            “I want to share something very special with you. This week I was feeling a little blue about losing your sale and I went home one night and pulled the covers over my head and stayed there until the next morning.  

            “But I awoke in the middle of the night and I prayed and prayed for guidance. I walk to work each day one mile and I use that time to thank God for all my many blessings; sometimes I say affirmations, sometimes I pray for friends, family or someone I may have read about in the paper. 

            “That day I used one of your affirmations: ‘Money comes to me from an unexpected source.’ Well, it happened that very day I sold a book that I had thought I would never sell but I just kept trying.  

            “When I was saying my prayers of gratitude that night, I said the same affirmation and a royalty check came in from a company that hadn’t been up to date in years. I thought, wow, well, I can’t very well say the same affirmation again, can I?  

            “So I just thanked God for all that He has given me, all the blessings and love that is in my life…Well, today in the mail three more checks came for clients that the publishing house was two years behind in paying. Three days in a row! Once again I am blessed and thankful.” 

            Change your attitude—change your experience. Turn it over to God. Works every time.

            Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expertis the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebookwith participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.

          2. 01/20/2025 9:50 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


            LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

            presents

            Black Therapist Support Group

            Second Monday of Every Month

            Next Meeting:
            Monday, February 10, 2025
            6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)

            Online Via Zoom

            A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space, be the support needed to facilitate that journey.

            Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

            For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

            Event Details:

            For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

            When: Monday, February 10, 2025, 6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)
            Time of Check-In: 5:50 pm

            Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

            Cost: No charge

            *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*

          3. 01/20/2025 9:50 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

            Member Article

            Co-Parenting After Divorce

            Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

            Co-parenting after divorce comes with its own set of challenges….especially when it comes to making significant decisions for your children. From education and medical care to extracurricular activities, the stakes are high, and disagreements can feel impossible to navigate. How do you handle these big decisions when you and your ex no longer see eye to eye?

            Here’s the good news: It’s possible to work together effectively, even after divorce. With the right strategies and mindset, you can prioritize your child’s well-being while minimizing conflict.

            The Problem: When Co-Parenting Decisions Feel Overwhelming

            Life after divorce doesn’t pause, and the decisions about your child’s education, health, and future can feel relentless. Which school should they attend? Should they join a specific sport or activity? These choices can quickly escalate into points of tension, especially when you and your co-parent have different opinions.

            Behind these challenges is often a deeper sense of frustration or helplessness. Maybe you feel unheard, or perhaps every conversation feels like tiptoeing through a minefield to avoid conflict.

            It’s easy to start doubting your ability to co-parent effectively and whether you’re truly doing what’s best for your child.

            And the hardest part? It feels unfair that your child might be caught in the middle of disagreements between two parents who care for them deeply. Isn’t there a better way to make these decisions without letting old conflicts spill into new ones?

            The good news is that there is. With cooperation, mutual respect, and a focus on your child’s well-being, you can overcome these challenges together.

            A New Approach to Co-Parenting

            Here are five tips to help you handle major life decisions together.

            1. Prioritize Communication

            Clear and respectful communication is the foundation of effective co-parenting. It’s crucial to set up regular check-ins to discuss important topics and make sure both parents have a chance to express their views in a neutral setting. When disagreements arise, focus on listening actively rather than reacting impulsively. The goal isn’t to “win” the conversation but to come to an agreement that best serves your child’s needs. Open, honest communication ensures that both parents feel heard and respected, which ultimately helps foster a cooperative co-parenting relationship.

            2. Keep the Focus on Your Child

            During moments of tension or disagreement, it’s easy to get sidetracked by personal feelings or past conflicts. However, always bring the conversation back to your child’s well-being and needs. What will benefit them the most in this situation? Keeping your child’s interests at the center helps both parents stay aligned, even when their individual opinions differ. Remember, co-parenting is about what’s best for the child, not about settling past scores or arguing for the sake of being right.

            3. Define Boundaries and Roles

            Clear boundaries and roles are vital to prevent confusion and reduce tension when making decisions. Establish who will take the lead in different areas—perhaps one parent handles medical decisions while the other is in charge of educational matters. When both parents understand their respective roles, it becomes easier to collaborate on more complex decisions. Respecting each other’s boundaries also helps maintain a sense of balance, so the focus remains on supporting your child rather than on dividing responsibilities.

            4. Be Willing to Compromise

            In co-parenting, compromise is often necessary, as the decision-making process is rarely split perfectly down the middle. Be open to finding middle ground that works for both parents, whether it’s in choosing a school, coordinating extracurricular activities, or agreeing on a schedule. Flexibility and willingness to adjust show your child that both parents are dedicated to working together for their best interests. Compromise not only helps resolve disputes but also models teamwork and cooperation for your child.

            5. Use Mediation for Complex Issues

            When decisions become particularly challenging or contentious, seeking the help of a mediator can be incredibly beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate the conversation, help uncover deeper issues that may be contributing to the conflict, and guide both parents toward a fair, child-focused solution. Mediation can provide structure and clarity, ensuring that discussions stay productive and centered on the child’s needs. It’s a valuable tool for navigating complex issues in a way that reduces conflict and promotes cooperation.

            Take the Next Step Toward Better Co-Parenting

            You might be thinking:

            “My ex and I can’t even have a civil conversation.” Mediation can help create a structured, respectful dialogue.

            “We’ll never agree on anything.” Start with smaller decisions to build trust and cooperation over time.

            “It’s too late to change how we co-parent.” It’s never too late to develop healthier habits and improve communication.

            Co-parenting after divorce doesn’t have to be a battlefield. By focusing on your child’s well-being and working together with respect, you can navigate major life decisions with greater ease and less conflict. Let me know if I can help.

            Steven UnruhMA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFTHe and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child supportalong with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern CaliforniaWebsite: stevenunruh.com.

          4. 01/20/2025 9:47 PM | Gina Balit (Administrator)


            LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

            presents

            Therapists of Color Support Group

            Meets Every Quarter

            Next Meeting:
            Sunday, April 13, 2025
            11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)

            Online Via Zoom

            A safe place to receive peer support and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, racist injury, aggression, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of color encounter in the field of mental health.

              Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

              For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

              Event Details:

              For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

              Event Details: Sunday, April 12, 2025 from 11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)
              Time of Check-In: 10:50 am

              Where:  Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

              Cost: No charge

              *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


              In diversity there is beauty
              and there is strength.

              Maya Angelou

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