Purpose: Play the Game of Life All In

“We are not here merely to make a living. We are here to enrich the world, and we impoverish ourselves if we forget this errand.” — Woodrow Wilson 

Food. Shelter. Clothing. 

These are the basics that we need to sustain life. Everything beyond that is entertainment. There is purpose and reason to our lives—beyond sustenance and beyond entertainment. 

What is your purpose? What is your mission? What’s it all about?  

My guess is that it isn’t about just staying alive, and it isn’t about who’s got the most stuff. 

When you answer this question, from your heart and your soul, you will know true financial peace. You have what it takes to survive, to stay alive—because, after all, here you are, alive after all these years.  

When you understand that the search for wealth, riches, beautiful things, etc. is just for your entertainment, you’ll know you can be happy whether or not you have those things. 

When I make High Budget money, I spend more.  

When I make Low Budget money, I spend less. 

Financial stress reduction is about being fluid and flexible with money—if you’ve got more, enjoy it; if you’ve got less, enjoy other things. Change your focus. 

Beyond staying alive and entertaining yourself: What are you here for? 

Today’s Affirmation: “I am happily fulfilling my life’s mission every day.” 

My life’s chosen mission is “Joy and prosperity for all!” and my work is to spread that idea and help people achieve it. But life isn’t all about work, so along with that, my life’s purpose is to appreciate it and enjoy it. I think being happy contributes to the lives of others and brightens the energy of people around you. I know my family is happier when I’m happy, and I’m happier when they are. 

Some people think life is all about “sacrifice” in this “veil of tears.” That rather takes all the joy out of life, doesn’t it? The purpose of life is to endure it? I think not. 

Yes, there’s a lot of pain and suffering in the world, and it’s part of our human purpose to try and alleviate some of that suffering wherever we can. 

Some saints among us make it the total focus of their lives to sacrifice on behalf of others to the exclusion of all else. 

Well, I call them saints, but sometimes I wonder. Shouldn’t there be some balance in there, too? Wouldn’t they be able to give more if they replenish themselves with fun and pleasure sometimes, too? 

But when I saw the young novitiates of the Dominican Sisters of Mary of Ann Arbor, Michigan on Oprah, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone glow with such joy of life as they did. They have dedicated themselves to serving God and others, and by so doing, achieve great joy in their own lives. 

Deng Ming-Dao in 365 Tao says,

Those who follow Tao believe in using sixteen attributes on behalf of others: mercy, gentleness, patience, nonattachment, control, skill, joy, spiritual love, humility, reflection, restfulness, seriousness, effort, controlled emotion, magnanimity, and concentration. 

Whatever you need to help another, draw upon these qualities. Notice that self-sacrifice is not included in this list. You do not need to destroy yourself to help another. Your overall obligation is to complete your own journey along your personal Tao. As long as you can offer solace to other on your same path, you have done the best that you can. 

What service are you called to, and how far will you take it? Declare your purpose now. 

And determine to live it in 2022!

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and most recently From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She is widely quoted in major media including Redbook, Good Housekeeping and more than 50 popular books. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years. Her website is www.chellie.com.

Building Parenting Plans that Survive a Pandemic

One of the many unfortunate outcomes of the current COVID-19 pandemic is that it is causing major issues between divorced parents who are trying to co-parent their children. Parents are either: 1) Sincerely concerned about children going back and forth between households or 2) See this as an opportunity to manipulate their custody order by unilaterally deciding to keep the children with them and denying the other parent their parenting time—and sometimes it’s difficult to tell which one is motivating their behavior. Attorneys and the courts have been bombarded with custody cases that need to be addressed and all at a time when the courts are completely shut down—leaving these parents with absolutely no recourse in the short-term.

However, this doesn’t have to be the case. If parents invest in building a comprehensive, proactive parenting plan on the front-end, they are equipped to: 1) Focus on their children’s well-being, 2) Find creative ways to deal with situations that arise, and 3) Develop a pattern of goodwill that promotes flexibility and working together over knee-jerk, adversarial approaches to dealing with problems.

Some of you may think that I’m painting too rosy of a picture regarding the benefits of a mediated parenting plan so here’s my body of proof—in the two months we’ve been sheltering at home I have not received one call or email from a past client regarding the other parent manipulating this situation. When you consider that over my 17 years as a mediator I’ve had close to 1,000 clients, this demonstrates the power of providing parents with structure and focus early on that enables them to effectively manage their strong negative emotions and keep their focus on their children’s long-term interests. Serendipitously, a focus on meeting the children’s needs often helps parents work through other divisive issues simply because they’re focused on their children’s best interests rather than on their conflicts and feelings about their soon to be ex.

So, how do we build these types of comprehensive, proactive parenting plans? Of course, there are a lot of elements, but some of the most important are:

1. Providing clarity and specificity regarding how the parents will handle typical parenting issues both during and after the divorce.

2. Dealing with potential issues proactively, rather than reactively.

3. Structure + Flexibility = Resiliency

Working with divorcing clients to create a customized, comprehensive parenting plan that is specific to their children’s needs—and provides the sense of order and consistency that children crave—does take some time (usually just 1—2 two-hour sessions). However, it is an investment in reduced conflict for the remainder of their co-parenting relationship (with young children it could easily be 10—15 years before they graduate from high school). It is also an investment not only in the well-being of their children, but also in minimizing/avoiding future mediation and/or attorney fees—less than 1% of my clients ever return to mediation after their divorce is finalized because they are so well-equipped with a combination of goodwill and specific structures to deal with issues that come up.

Specific aspects of comprehensive parenting plans are covered in this three-part Davis Mediation “Fundamental Elements of a Good Parenting Plan” YouTube Video Series.

Barry Davis, Divorce Mediator, Founder of Davis Mediation, has been helping clients get through the divorce process in the most amicable, affordable manner possible for 16 years. His passion is keeping children out of the middle of divorce so they can grow up healthy. As a divorce mediator, Barry holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology and Conflict Management and has served on the Torrance Family Court and Second Appellate District mediation panels. For more information and resources, visit www.DavisMediation.com or Davis Divorce Mediation’s YouTube Channel.

Previously published in Voices July, 2020

LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color Mentorship Program: Call for Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentors

During our “Anti-Racism as a Movement, Not a Moment” Roundtable in August 2020, we came together as a therapeutic community to discuss and address racism and discrimination. We collaborated on what LA-CAMFT can do to be an actively and overtly anti-racist community. We specifically identified needed supports that we as therapists of color and as a therapeutic community wanted to see provided. One of the many needed supports identified was a Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program.

In January 2021 a group of students, associates and licensed therapists of color formed the Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program Committee and met on a monthly basis to discuss and begin the creation of this program. The committee spent quality time on the purpose statement, guidelines, interest form, marketing, launch date, and more. The development of the program are the contributions of the following committee participants: Akiah Selwa, Destiny Campron, Jenni Villegas Wilson, Leanne Nettles, Lucy Sladek, Maisha Gainer, Matthew Fernandez, Nehemiah Campbell, Perla Hollow, Rachell Alger, Raven Barrow, Stara Shakti, and Tina Cacho Sakai

The LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program exists to help address inequities experienced by professional mental health therapists of color and intersections with other historically marginalized groups. The first of its kind amongst CAMFT chapters, LA-CAMFT is committed to ensuring quality mentorship for therapists of color by therapists of color. The mentorship program is intended to help bridge the gap of identifying and creating opportunities for growth and advancement in the field, guide clinicians across various stages of professional development, increase accessibility and sustainability in the field, and assist therapists of color to confidently provide services from their culturally authentic self.  

At this time, we are Calling for Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentors who are committed to this mission and more:

• Qualifications: Licensed in the State of CA (LMFT, LCSW, LPCC, PSYD, etc) 
• Commitment: 6 to 12 months with the option to continue independently.
• Frequency: 1x per month or mutually agreed-upon schedule of meetings, which may occur via phone, virtual platform, email exchanges, or face-to-face meetings.
• Types of Mentorship Relationships: 1-on-1 and/or group mentorship (your choice) .
• Mentors do not need to be LA-CAMFT Members. 

Here are some of the many rewards for being a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor:

• Guide, teach, and inspire the next generation of TOC mental health professionals.
• Establish and promote a culture of support within our profession.
• Build intergenerational relationships.
• Contribute to new developments in the field.
• Receive LA-CAMFT benefits for volunteering your time, knowledge and wisdom. 

If you are interested in becoming a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor, would like to receive more information and/or receive the Interest Form, reach out to us at tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org. 

With Gratitude and Solidarity, 

LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program Committee

LA-CAMFT Online On-Demand CEU Courses from Charter for Compassionate Education

LA-CAMFT is excited to announce new additions to our online on-demand CEU offerings from Charter for Compassionate Education. Starting in April, you can find links to these great online CEU courses on the LACAMFT.org Home Page under the Information tab:

Emotional Intelligence for a Compassionate World (On Demand) (Barbara Kerr) (20 CEUs)

Maybe you’ve thought about how empowering it could be to join with others who are willing to take action for a more compassionate world.

And maybe you’ve recognized that building Emotional Intelligence skills could be helpful to you in your work with clients, your personal relationships, as well as in building a more compassionate community where you live.

Emotional Intelligence skills and competencies can become the fertile ground for a more compassionate world. The skills that contribute to Emotional Intelligence can lead to the development of empathy and compassion—in individuals, in families, in the workplace, in communities, and among the interconnected societies of people throughout the world.

During this course, you will discover your own Emotional Intelligence strengths, learn ways to add to your Emotional Intelligence competencies, and consider practical ways to apply your skills to build a more compassionate world.

Compassionate Integrity Training (CIT) (10 Week Live Course) (30 CEUs)

Have you ever wondered how you could cultivate the compassion called for in the world or help others cultivate that compassion? Compassionate Integrity Training (CIT) is a great place to start!

CIT is a resiliency-informed program that cultivates human values as skills, so we can thrive as individuals, and a society, within a healthy environment. By learning skills to calm our bodies and mind, becoming more emotionally aware, learning to practice compassion for ourselves and others, as well as engaging with compassion in complex systems, we can build towards compassionate integrity: the ability to live one’s life in accordance with one’s values with a recognition of common humanity, our basic orientation to kindness and reciprocity.

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee

Attention LA-CAMFT Members!
2022 LA-CAMFT Board Meeting Dates

Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes at a LA-CAMFT Full Board Meeting? LA-CAMFT members are invited to attend monthly Full Board Meetings hosted on Zoom.

February 11
March 11
April 8
May 13
June 10
July 8
August 12
September 9
October 14
November 11
December 9

Online Via Zoom

Voices Publication Guidelines for 2022

Calling all community writers and contributors!

Are you searching for a unique platform to express your passions and showcase your expertise in the Marriage and Family Therapy field? Look no further, as we welcome your input!

Following are the due dates and publication guidelines for submitting articles and ads for the 2022 calendar year to Voices, LA-CAMFT's monthly newsletter:

Upcoming Voices Newsletters	Submission Deadlines
April	March 1
May	April 1
June	May 1
July	June 1
August	July 1
September	August 1
October	September 1
November	October 1
December	November 1

 

 

LA-CAMFT Publishing Guidelines for Voices

• All submissions are DUE by the 1ST of each month.
  • Around the 15th of each month, you will receive the editor’s call for articles for the next edition of VOICES.
  • This editor’s call will allow contributors to have up to 2 weeks to put together all the material for submission by the 1st of the month.
  • Around the 25th of each month, you will receive the editor’s second and last call for articles, reminding contributors to submit completed articles by the first should they wish to be included in VOICES.
  • In this last call for submissions, the editor will include a list of the content planned for the next edition of VOICES. This editorial list will note submissions received as well as submissions expected but not yet received and which must be received by the 1st in order to be included.
  • Any submissions received after the 1st, will be included in the following month's edition of VOICES.
• ARTICLES are 500–1000 word submissions by LA-CAMFT members, sponsors, speakers, or recognized experts in their field. Only universal file formats, like Word (.doc and docx.) will be accepted as submissions. If an article is submitted in a “.pages” format, it will be returned to the submitter.
• HYPERLINKS in articles must be individually typed into the body of the article by the writer and must be included at time of submission. It is the responsibility of each writer to “type in” the hyperlink(s) in their own work when the article is submitted. Putting “LIVE LINK” in the body of an article won't work. When multiple links are being included, this must be made clear by the writer as to where each link is to be featured.
• IMAGES: All personal headshots or images must be attached to an email as either a JPEG, PNG or TIF. Images pasted into an email are not acceptable since the quality of such photos is diminished. Any images received in the body of the email may result in delayed publication of the submission.
• AUTHOR TAGLINES: Author taglines are a short paragraph of 50 to 75 words after the end of the article in which the author is identified. It includes the author's full name, pertinent professional credentials, a short business description, and website address with a HYPERLINK. Email addresses and phone numbers are not included — the only exceptions are lacamft.org emails. All taglines are limited to 75 words, MAXIMUM. This word count includes the author's name and website.
• IMAGES OTHER THAN PERSONAL HEADSHOTS. There is an issue about images. When you submit an image other than a personal headshot, you must provide proof of how you obtained that photo. Following is a link that covers the importance of copyright issues, but especially so when it comes to anything “Internet.” (Sued for Copyright Infringement)
• AN ARTICLE MAY CONTAIN:
  • Helpful tips, strategies, analysis, and other specific useful clinical, educational, business or professional marketing or networking information.
  • A review of literature or arts (reviewer not related to or in business with the creator of the item being reviewed).
• AN ARTICLE MAY NOT CONTAIN:
  • Reference to commercial products or services being sold or distributed by author;
  • Information that is only useful if the author’s book or other materials are purchased
  • Suggestions that the reader attend the author’s workshop, conference or podcast for more information;
  • Any other material that could be construed as an advertisement, rather than an article;
  • Language that could be construed as defamatory, discriminatory, or offensive