In A Zillionaire World Everyone’s Win is Your Win

“A person will be called upon to account, on Judgment Day, for all permitted pleasures he might have enjoyed but did not.”                           — the Talmud 

Don’t you just love the idea that you will have to answer for it if you don’t enjoy your life? Can you picture God asking, like a father reprimanding his daughter, “Did you have all the fun you could have had today, young lady?”

The Buddhists say that before enlightenment you chop wood and carry water, and after enlightenment you chop wood and carry water. In the Sufi stories, I noticed that often after a disciple became enlightened, he became a merchant. He would sell goods, provide value, receive value, and live simply.

The truth is simple: Life is rich and wonderful, and the more we appreciate it, the happier we get. You have to be happy now—you can’t wait until your goals are achieved. The moment of achievement only lasts a moment. Then there’s always another goal, another game to win, another vacation to take, another dollar to earn. Revel in the daily wins, the little joys, and you will be happy every day.

Time magazine, in an article on happiness, stated that often happiness was based on comparison to others. If you have a 3-bedroom house and your neighbors have 2-bedroom houses, you’re happy. But if you have a 3-bedroom house and everyone around you has 4 bedrooms, you’re dissatisfied. 

That’s only the viewpoint from the neighborhood, though, not the viewpoint from the stars. On the Zillionaire Scale, there will always be people who have more bedrooms and those who have fewer bedrooms. And there will be people with no bedrooms at all. 

Which end of the scale are you going to focus your attention on? Are you going to look down the scale and feel rich like a Zillionaire or up the scale and feel poor like a Zero? Are you going to look up the scale and be a bitter and envious Angry Tuna? Or look down the scale, feel guilty and burn your own bedroom down because someone else doesn’t have one, like a Timid Tuna victim? Comparisons can inspire you to do better, or defeat you, depending on how you view it.

I heard a story about two farmers who lived next to each other. One farmer had a beautiful cow, and the other farmer didn’t have a cow.  

One day, God appeared to the farmer without a cow and said, “I will grant you one wish. Today, you can have anything you desire. What do you want?”

The farmer said, “Kill my neighbor’s cow.”

Isn’t that sad? He didn’t wish for a better cow, or two cows, or a herd of cows. His wish was for his neighbor to be brought low. He wanted equality with his neighbor, but equality in his limited view meant they both were poorer instead of both being richer. 

That’s Angry Tuna thinking. A Shark might say, “Kill my neighbor’s cow and give me ten cows.” But he’s creating another Angry Shark on the other side of the fence who’s going to want to retaliate. So now both farmers spend all their time, energy, and money on War Machinery to kill each other’s cows. It’s Zero thinking in a zero-sum game.  

Zillionaire farmers would get together and find a way to build a herd of cows—enough for each of them, with a surplus to share.

Each meeting of WRS (Women’s Referral Service) one of my networking groups, we share with the others at our table about a topic of the day. Whenever the topic is “Tell about your greatest business success,” I have noted with interest that people rarely focus on the award they won or the big contract they got. They don’t talk about the fame, acknowledgement, raises, promotions, or prizes they won. 

They talk about what they helped others win. One after the other, with glowing smiles, each person mentions a particular client that they helped to solve a problem or gain a cherished desire. Their faces shine as they tell their favorite story of the client they helped to win a $7 million contract, or the client they helped overcome their fear of public speaking who got a standing ovation. 

The energy of that joy permeates the room, and I feel it at all the tables in the room. People who can revel in other people’s happiness are the biggest winners in life. They’re winning vicariously all the time—it’s a constant adrenaline happiness rush.  

That is the gift that keeps giving to you: When you help others, their win is your win. Their success is your success; their happiness your happiness. When someone in my workshop walks into class excited over the good fortune that they just can’t believe happened to them, their excitement and joy spills into me and it is mine as completely as it is theirs. 

When I attended the Worthwhile Referral Sources Annual Awards banquet one year, I clapped loudly for all my friends who won. When one gentleman came up to me afterwards and said, “Sorry you didn’t win anything this year, Chellie,” I looked at him in astonishment. “Four out of five of the top winners thanked me from the podium and said I helped them get where they were. I think I’m the biggest winner in the room!”  

To know this joy is why teachers teach, and why parents are proud of their children. Because giving an assist is just as valuable as scoring points in the game themselves. Touchdowns are made by teams, not individuals. The quarterback throws the ball, but he has to have a receiver.  

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Just as a fellow human being, I participated in his adventure; I stood outside my house where I could see the TV and the moon in the sky at the same time. I watched him take that “one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Yes, yes, me too, Neil! I’m there with you! My taxes helped build your ship. Your win is my win. Send out spaceships.

Take time to savor your achievements, and celebrate those of the others around you. Bask in the glory, then relax and enjoy the day. Warm in the sunshine, chart the path of raindrops, learn from a book, channel surf the TV, listen to a teacher, marvel at a painting, ponder a philosophy, enjoy a movie, a comedian or a play. Have dinner with a friend, join a sports team, indulge in a hobby. Walk on the beach. Invite someone else to walk on the beach with you. Feel blessed. Feel rich. Every day you do this is living a rich life.

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and most recently From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She is widely quoted in major media including Redbook, Good Housekeeping and more than 50 popular books. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years. Her website is www.chellie.com.