Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists

Los Angeles Chapter — CAMFT

Guest Article

03/31/2022 4:30 PM | Mike Johnsen (Administrator)

Chellie Campbell,
Financial Stress
Reduction Expert

Your Big, Fat Failures Are Fabulous!

If you have made mistakes—even serious ones—
there is always another chance for you.
For what we call failure is not the falling down,
but the staying down.

Mary Pickford

The headline said, “Jordan Spieth’s collapse at the Master’s the most shocking in golf history.” After being in the lead through 5 days of this major golf tournament, he blew the lead in spectacular fashion, driving his ball into the water and sand traps and taking 7 shots to get the ball in the hole instead of the average 3.

It was horrible to watch. And then, since he had won the Master’s the previous year, he had to attend the winner’s ceremony and put a new green jacket on another man. 

Which he did like the absolute champion he is.

So . . . he had a bad day. 

Is this going to determine his future? No. 

Is this going to make him work harder? Yes. That’s what champions do.

After Sony’s Columbia Records label cancelled her, Alicia Keys sold 5.5 million copies of her next album for their competitor and won five Grammys. 

Alanis Morrisette was turned down by record company after record company, until Maverick took her on and her debut album Jagged Little Pill sold over 30 million copies worldwide.

Bonnie Raitt shot to the top of the charts with two back-to-back albums on Capitol Records that spawned hit singles and won three Grammys apiece—right after her prior record company fired her.

Losing fires up winners. Their response when someone tells them they aren’t good enough, they can’t do it, or they’re a loser, is “Oh, yeah? Watch this!” 

They use the rejection as an energetic launching pad to redouble their efforts, sharpen their creativity, and prove the naysayers wrong.

So how many times have you tried to achieve your goal? What does it take to keep on keeping on? How strong is your vision? How strong is your belief in yourself?

It is, in the end, a self-esteem issue. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. You have to believe in yourself, or no one else is going to. 

It sure helps to bolster your belief when you have a lot of Dolphins swimming in your pod. Dolphins who will sing to you, “You can do it! You can do anything you put your mind to! We love you! We believe in you!”

Then it’s up to you to believe what they are telling you. If your pod thinks you are fabulous, you are. If your pod thinks you should go for it, you should. If your pod is full of naysayers—look for a new pod.

But there is another benefit to failure.

Years ago, I read a piece about Greg Norman, who also famously choked and lost a championship this way. But he said that he was shocked at how many wonderful notes of appreciation and good cheer he received afterwards. He got many more letters than he had ever received after his wins and never felt so loved. "And," he said, "I did it by losing."

We think people love us because we’re successful, but that isn’t it. People love us because we’re us. Remember that losing is a big part of winning, and in order to win, you have to be willing to fail. And that when you fail, your friends will lift you up and love you.

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and most recently From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She is widely quoted in major media including Redbook, Good Housekeeping and more than 50 popular books. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years. Her website is www.chellie.com.

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