Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


Los Angeles Chapter — CAMFT

President's Message

04/11/2019 9:21 AM | Mike Johnsen (Administrator)
Christina Castorena

Christina Castorena
President, LA-CAMFT

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I recently ran into a former colleague at the CAMFT Leadership Conference whom I hadn’t seen since I worked at the Youth Drop-in Center in Orange County over 15 years ago. When catching up with her, I was immediately transported back to a time I hadn’t thought about in years. Before I was a therapist, I was a health educator and outreach specialist. It was my first job out of undergrad. I was eager to help and, honestly, not quite sure what I was doing. I had several mentors who were more seasoned in their work with our eclectic clientele of LGBTQ youth, homeless young adults, and neighborhood kids.

There was one mentor in particular that stood out for me during this time. For the purposes of this article, I will call her Angela. Angela was one of the first people to greet me with her bright eyes and beautiful smile. She showed me the ropes of working at the center. She taught me how to run support groups for the LGBTQ youth and young girls in the neighborhood. She trained me on conducting safe street outreach to pass out food, hygiene supplies, and safer sex kits to the homeless youth in the area. She listened to me when I needed to talk, sang with me at the local karaoke bar, and, more importantly, she encouraged us all to have fun at work, even when things got heavy.

She was a Case Manager, and she was selfless in her work. She was a master at building rapport and could make anyone laugh. I witnessed her help so many people over the three years that we worked together; I can’t imagine how many lives she positively impacted in her lifetime. Her mentorship and modeling of compassion and empathy was an inspiration in my pursuits of becoming a therapist.

As I was happily reminiscing with my colleague about Angela, she offered me some very sad news that I wasn’t expecting to hear. She informed me that Angela died by suicide several years ago. My jaw dropped and I was in shock, I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to. The how’s and the why’s all crossed my mind, but no amount of information was going to make her death any less bearable. It had been so long since I had any contact with her, so I’m not going to claim that I knew anything about her circumstances or state of mind at the time of her death. What I do know is that she had a positive impact on my life, the lives of her client’s, and the lives of her colleagues.

I received this news the first day of the conference, so I had to compose myself and tuck it away with all the emotions that it had triggered in order to network, learn, and facilitate discussion groups throughout the weekend. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I allowed myself to explore all the feelings I had put away that weekend. The painful loss of a gifted healer reminded me of the importance of self-care for myself and among people working in our field. Our lives aren’t put on hold as we sit with our clients in their pain, as we try to meet paperwork deadlines, or as we gain clinical hours. Our lives are in full swing and we often have to learn the art of putting aside our own needs and wants for portions of our day. We work so hard to develop the skill of attunement to our clients, and sometimes the cost of that is a loss of attunement to ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but I can go for hours without eating, drinking, or even using the restroom while I’m at work. I know it may sound funny, but it’s true. Something as simple and necessary as using the restroom is a lower priority to me than meeting the needs of my clients. This is an example of a lack of attunement to my physical needs, but as clinicians this lack of attunement can cross into dampening of emotional needs, which can have devastating and long-term effects to our well-being.

I’m not going to list off self-care interventions because I’m sure you all have your own lists of interventions that work for you. If you don’t, then I recommend making your list now. I use music to soothe my soul, I spend lots of time with my family, and play with my cats. I’ve also found that joining the LA-CAMFT community and getting involved has been integral to finding the support and resources that are important for my own mental health. I’ve found community, friendship, and a sense of belonging. If we want to stay in this field for the long haul, then it is an absolute must that we take care of ourselves. I cannot emphasize this enough.

I’ve noticed that words like “self-care” are thrown around a lot in workshops, supervision, or online forums, but what does it really mean for us as therapists? I’ve seen many clinicians still suffering from burnout and loss of attunement to self, even though discussions of self-care are prominent in our field. There is an apparent disconnect between knowing what to do and actually doing it. My hope is that we practice self-care every day until it is ingrained into our daily routine.

Finding out about the loss of Angela was a very painful reminder to me to take care of my physical needs, mental health, and spiritual wellbeing. As I process her death, I am also reminded of why I wanted to be President of LA-CAMFT. I wanted to advocate for the well-being of therapists, recognize and celebrate the hard work that we do, and the positive impact that it has in our world. I am thankful for Angela’s mentorship and support, and she will always live on in my memories as someone who positively impacted hundreds if not thousands of lives. To you, the reader, thank you for your dedication and passion for others. Your work is important so please take care of yourself. This is the best way to be our best selves for our clients and every person we meet.

Best Regards,
Christina Castorena, LMFT

*If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273.8255 or go to your nearest emergency room.

Christina Castorena, MS, LMFT, worked in community mental health before starting her private practice, Castorena Therapeutic Services, in 2016. She passionately serves adults, couples, and members of the LGBTQ+ community who are dealing with life transitions, parenting, relational conflicts, and anxiety. She employs family systems and mindfulness-based CBT. As president of LA-CAMFT, Christina strongly advocates for her professional community and celebrates the hard-working clinicians that facilitate healing. Christina Castorena may be contacted at castorenatherapeutic.com.

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