Los Angeles Chapter — California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


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Los Angeles Chapter — CAMFT

Guest Article

09/28/2024 1:47 AM | Gina Balit (Administrator)

Guest Article

Don’t Give Up the Ship!!

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert

I'm somebody who finds adversity is almost as good as encouragement. It's almost like, you close the door, and I'll find ten ways to kick it in and go around it or dig under it or something. -Diane Warren

Once I sent out a very proud announcement of several ships that had just come in. I wanted everyone on my list to know how happy I was about my success. Bursting my buttons I wrote a “Ship Ahoy!” announcement and bragged that my book was going to be featured in Entrepreneur magazine, I was making a guest appearance on a TV show and also on NPR!

But right after I sent out that announcement, every ship I had bragged about coming in—sank. At first, I was terribly embarrassed. Here I had told the world all this great stuff was happening for me, and all of it had just landed in the drink. How humiliating!

But then I started to laugh. And then I started writing the next newsletter:

“’Ship ahoy!’ comes the cry from the crow’s nest! Followed by ‘Oops…’ 

“Do you find your email inbox flooded with proud announcements of awards, good PR, new contracts, new classes starting, newsy newsletters full “My ship has come in!” stories? Me, too. 

“This one is different. It’s a sunken ship announcement.  

“Right after telling you about all my good news last week, one of my new ships sunk. My television appearance ended up on the cutting room floor. Shoot. It’s never fun when ships sink, but it’s particularly annoying when they sink at the dock while you’re unloading it. Then the radio show I taped turned out to be a local show in Florida, not Marketplace which has an audience of millions. And it aired during the middle of a hurricane. Okay, so it’s a leaky canoe instead of a cruise ship, but maybe somebody heard it and bought a book…As for the Entrepreneur magazine article, we have called the Coast Guard and they are out scouring the seas on a search and rescue mission…

“Oh, well, in the entertainment industry they have an expression for it— ‘That’s show biz!’ And as Jack Canfield told me, here’s the four-letter word to use when ships sink: ‘Next!’ Because the Universe now owes me a ship, don’t you think?

“Don’t give up the ships! Keep sending them out, even in the face of icebergs and disasters. Babe Ruth hit more home runs than any other baseball player of his era—and he also struck out more times than any other player. 

“The price of success is failure. Successful people are just willing to fail more often than most people.”

“So take heart when some of your ships sink. Because there are others that may not be at the dock just yet, but they are just over the horizon, laden with treasure and sailing home to you. No energy is lost, every positive step taken is rewarded. The ship that comes in may look different than the ship you sent out, but you earned every bit of treasure in its hold.”

An amazing thing happened then. In the next 24 hours, I was completely overwhelmed with responses to that newsletter. Whereas I usually received 25-30 congratulatory messages when I send out notices about good news, my “Sinking Ships” letter got over 160 replies. 

Here is a sampling of some of the delightful responses I received from the Dolphins in my pod, filled with clever ship analogies.

“Ahoy matey, fear not, there be yachts and dinghy’s at your pier! Thanks for sharing this girlfriend :)”—Lise

“I'm so sorry about your sunken ship. I just wanted you to know that I have an extra life jacket if you need it, and I'm always willing to share my own personal life raft with you—anytime. Thinking about you here in sunny Sarasota.”—Your friend, Suzanne 

“Thank you for this. I've had a couple of ships sink recently (I got cut out of the final edit of a People magazine article for one :(( ) I really needed this...I'll just keep sending them out.”—A fan, Donna 

“I think what was so powerful about your email was that those of us who have taken your class look at you as someone who is immune to having a ship sink. You reminded us all that even your harbor sometimes has a dry dock and as disappointing as that might be, you feel it, acknowledge it, and then keep going. I love you too Chellie. Have a great day!—Rebecca

“Thank you for that email, it helps you remember what you need to remember! :) You rock!!!! Even in the face of icebergs you still inspire!”—Katrina

“Thanks for inspiring even with sunken ships. Your new name—Chellie Onassis. Many more ships to come.”—Lynda 

“You are my role model, not because of your many and on-going successes, but because of how you handle your sunken ships. I have had a similar week and your email arrived at the perfect time! Both are cruise ships are circling the harbor!”—Love, Victoria

“The Queen Mary is sailing your Way Chellie! Get your Wide-brimmed hat ready!”—Gratefully yours, Cathy 

How can you continue to feel bad about a few silly sunken ships when you are surrounded by loving friends like these? 

I still cry when I read their beautiful notes. It was a great lesson to me to continue to open up, to be vulnerable; that sometimes love comes more easily to you when you need a shoulder to cry on and a cup of tea than when the world is cheering you from the stands. 

We think we get love from being fabulous and successful and rich, but that isn’t it. Sometimes that’s an impenetrable wall that keeps people isolated. Being perfect is not the best way to reach people. Being vulnerable is.  

People want to know you need them. People want to know you’re like them. Everyone has sinking ships, everyone cries in the night, everyone needs a pat on the back and a hanky upon occasion. Your Dolphin friends love to be there for you when they can see through the chinks in your walls to your tender heart within. 

Open up. Let them in.

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.

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