Member Article

You’re Divorced. What Now?

Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

Divorce can feel like the end of a chapter, but what if it was actually the beginning of something new?

Picture this: you’ve just signed the final papers, the last chapter of your marriage is closed, and now you’re left with the question—what’s next? The road ahead may seem daunting, filled with uncertainty and doubt. But it doesn’t have to be this way. What if you could find a way to not just survive but actually thrive after divorce? Let’s explore how you can turn the page and start a fulfilling new chapter in your life.

The Problem 

Divorce isn’t just the end of a relationship; it’s the start of a new and often daunting chapter in life. This transition can bring a complex mix of challenges that may feel overwhelming.

Right after divorce, you may face logistical hurdles—handling finances on your own, navigating co-parenting schedules, and confronting the social stigma that often surrounds divorce. But it’s not just the practical aspects; the emotional toll can be just as heavy. You might feel lost, lonely, or even guilty, questioning your self-worth and wondering if happiness is still within reach.

On a deeper level, divorce can shake your core beliefs about fairness and justice. You may find yourself asking, “Why did this happen to me? Wasn’t marriage supposed to last forever?” It can feel deeply unfair to be left picking up the pieces while life seems to move on for everyone else. But it’s important to remember that it doesn’t have to stay this way—there is a path forward, and it starts with realizing that you have the power to shape your future.

You’re Divorced. What Now?

As overwhelming as these problems might seem, there’s hope. I’m Steven Unruh, a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience, and I’ve helped countless individuals navigate the complexities of life after divorce. I care deeply about helping you find peace and fulfillment during this challenging time, and I’m here to share some insights that can guide you toward a brighter future.

1. Embrace the Change

Change is never easy, but it’s essential to embrace it rather than resist it. Life after divorce is a chance to redefine who you are and what you want out of life. Start by setting new goals for yourself—whether they’re related to your career, personal development, or hobbies you’ve always wanted to explore. By focusing on what you can control, you’ll begin to see this change as an opportunity rather than a setback.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Your well-being is paramount during this transition. Make time for activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Exercise regularly, eat healthily, and consider practices like meditation or journaling to help manage stress. According to Harvard Health, regular exercise can reduce symptoms of depression by up to 30%, making it a powerful tool in your post-divorce recovery.

3. Rebuild Your Support System

Divorce can be isolating, but it’s crucial to rebuild your support network. Surround yourself with friends, family, and professionals who can provide emotional and practical support. Joining a support group for divorcees can also be incredibly beneficial, offering a safe space to share experiences and gain insights from others who have been through similar challenges.

4. Focus on Co-Parenting

If you have children, co-parenting will be a significant part of your life after divorce. Prioritize open communication and collaboration with your ex-spouse to create a stable and loving environment for your children. Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics indicates that children who experience cooperative co-parenting have better emotional and academic outcomes than those who are exposed to conflict.

Start Your New Chapter Today

You might be thinking, “This sounds great, but what if I’m not ready to move on?” It’s natural to feel hesitant or even stuck after such a significant life change. Remember, healing takes time. The goal isn’t to rush the process but to take small, manageable steps toward rebuilding your life. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a therapist or mediator who can help you work through these emotions and develop a plan for moving forward.

Imagine a future where you wake up each day feeling confident, fulfilled, and ready to embrace whatever comes your way. This future is possible, but it starts with taking action today. As a seasoned divorce mediator, I’ve seen firsthand how divorce mediation can help individuals find clarity, reduce conflict, and create a solid foundation for their post-divorce life. If you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to help you navigate this journey with compassion and expertise.

Don’t let divorce define you—let it empower you to create the life you’ve always wanted.

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com.