Embracing Support Systems in Your Divorce Journey

Divorce marks a significant turning point, a period where life seems to pause and demand a reevaluation of everything you once held certain. In this challenging time, the importance of a strong support system cannot be overstated. It’s not just about navigating legal complexities or restructuring routines; it’s about understanding the emotional and psychological journey and recognizing the invaluable role that various forms of support play in this transformative phase of life.

The Complex Landscape of Divorce
Divorce changes every part of your life, impacting your emotional health, social life, and finances. It brings up a lot of immediate, practical issues like court cases, who takes care of the kids, and money matters, all needing your quick attention. But beyond these visible problems, divorce also starts a deep personal journey. You might feel lost, unsure, or doubt yourself, and these feelings can be the toughest part of the whole process, affecting how you feel now and how you see your future. At the same time, it makes you think deeply about what’s truly important to you, your values, and your relationships. While facing these challenges, remember, there’s a strong network of support ready to help you through this time of change.

With over 30 years as a divorce mediator, I’ve witnessed firsthand the power and necessity of comprehensive support during divorce.

The Support System You Need

1. Family and Friends
   Family and friends are crucial during divorce, offering emotional support and practical assistance, maintaining a sense of normalcy. Studies confirm that a strong social network significantly reduces stress and emotional strain, making personal connections a vital part of navigating through the challenges of divorce. They provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and sometimes, the necessary resources to help manage the practical aspects of this transition. Their presence reminds us that, even in the midst of upheaval, we are not alone, and there’s strength and comfort in shared experiences and enduring bonds.
   
   
2. Divorce Mediators
   As a divorce mediator, I prioritize clear communication and mutual understanding, guiding couples through a respectful and cooperative process. Unlike the often confrontational court system, mediation fosters an environment where both parties can openly discuss their needs and work together towards satisfactory, enduring agreements. This collaborative approach not only eases the emotional strain of divorce but also promotes lasting solutions tailored to the specific dynamics and needs of the individuals involved, making mediation a preferred choice for those seeking a more harmonious resolution to their marital disputes.
   
   
3. Babysitters and Caregivers
   During a divorce, the world can seem to spin out of control, especially for children whose routines and sense of security are at risk. Babysitters and caregivers emerge as unsung heroes in these turbulent times. They provide much-needed stability and continuity, ensuring that children’s daily lives are minimally disrupted by the changes happening around them. By maintaining a consistent schedule, providing emotional support, and offering engaging activities, these caregivers help children navigate the emotional complexities of divorce. For parents, having reliable babysitters and caregivers means having the peace of mind to attend mediation sessions, legal appointments, or simply take a moment for self-care and reflection. This support is invaluable, as it allows parents to focus on the essential aspects of the divorce process while ensuring their children are in a safe, nurturing environment, cushioning the impact of life’s upheavals.
   
   
4. Financial and Legal Advisors
   Navigating the financial and legal intricacies of divorce can be daunting. This is where financial and legal advisors become indispensable. They bring clarity to complex situations, ensuring that your rights are safeguarded and your financial interests are thoughtfully managed. These professionals are adept at dissecting the intricate web of assets, debts, and potential future obligations, guiding you to make informed, strategic decisions. They help you understand the long-term implications of settlements, tax considerations, and custody arrangements, ensuring you’re not just surviving the present but also planning wisely for the future. Their expertise provides a shield against costly mistakes and oversights, offering peace of mind that every legal and financial detail is meticulously addressed, laying a solid foundation for your post-divorce life.

Embrace The Support Available

It’s natural to feel hesitant about reaching out for help. However, acknowledging the need for support is a sign of strength and a crucial step towards a more positive and manageable divorce process.

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com.

Keonna Robinson,
LMFT 

LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color Mentorship Program: Call for Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentors

During our “Anti-Racism as a Movement, Not a Moment” Roundtable in August 2020, we came together as a therapeutic community to discuss and address racism and discrimination. We collaborated on what LA-CAMFT can do to be an actively and overtly anti-racist community. We specifically identified needed supports that we as therapists of color and as a therapeutic community wanted to see provided. One of the many needed supports identified was a Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program.

In January 2021 a group of students, associates and licensed therapists of color formed the Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program Committee and met on a monthly basis to discuss and begin the creation of this program. The committee spent quality time on the purpose statement, guidelines, interest form, marketing, launch date, and more. The development of the program are the contributions of the following committee participants: Akiah Selwa, Destiny Campron, Jenni Villegas Wilson, Leanne Nettles, Lucy Sladek, Maisha Gainer, Matthew Fernandez, Nehemiah Campbell, Perla Hollow, Rachell Alger, Raven Barrow, Stara Shakti, and Tina Cacho Sakai.

The LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program exists to help address inequities experienced by professional mental health therapists of color and intersections with other historically marginalized groups. The first of its kind amongst CAMFT chapters, LA-CAMFT is committed to ensuring quality mentorship for therapists of color by therapists of color. The mentorship program is intended to help bridge the gap of identifying and creating opportunities for growth and advancement in the field, guide clinicians across various stages of professional development, increase accessibility and sustainability in the field, and assist therapists of color to confidently provide services from their culturally authentic self.  

At this time, we are Calling for Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentors who are committed to this mission and more:

• Qualifications: Licensed in the State of CA (LMFT, LCSW, LPCC, PSYD, etc) 
• Commitment: 6 to 12 months with the option to continue independently.
• Frequency: 1x per month or mutually agreed-upon schedule of meetings, which may occur via phone, virtual platform, email exchanges, or face-to-face meetings.
• Types of Mentorship Relationships: 1-on-1 and/or group mentorship (your choice) .
• Mentors do not need to be LA-CAMFT Members. 

Interest Form Due Dates and Mentorship Start Dates: 

• 6-month Mentorship duration is from June 1st — November 30, 2023. 

Interest forms submitted before or after the listed dates above will not be considered during the matching process. 

Here are some of the many rewards for being a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor:

• Guide, teach, and inspire the next generation of TOC mental health professionals.
• Establish and promote a culture of support within our profession.
• Build intergenerational relationships.
• Contribute to new developments in the field.
• Receive LA-CAMFT benefits for volunteering your time, knowledge and wisdom. 

If you are interested in becoming a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor, would like to receive more information and/or receive the Interest Form, reach out to us at tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org. 

With Gratitude and Solidarity, 

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee

Voices Publication Guidelines for 2024

Calling all community writers and contributors!

Are you searching for a unique platform to express your passions and showcase your expertise in the Marriage and Family Therapy field? Look no further, as we welcome your input!

Following are the due dates and publication guidelines for submitting articles and ads for the 2024 calendar year to Voices, LA-CAMFT's monthly newsletter:

LA-CAMFT Publishing Guidelines for Voices

• All submissions are DUE by the 1ST of each month.
  • Around the 15th of each month, you will receive the editor’s call for articles for the next edition of VOICES.
  • This editor’s call will allow contributors to have up to 2 weeks to put together all the material for submission by the 1st of the month.
  • Around the 25th of each month, you will receive the editor’s second and last call for articles, reminding contributors to submit completed articles by the first should they wish to be included in VOICES.
  • In this last call for submissions, the editor will include a list of the content planned for the next edition of VOICES. This editorial list will note submissions received as well as submissions expected but not yet received and which must be received by the 1st in order to be included.
  • Any submissions received after the 1st, will be included in the following month's edition of VOICES.
• ARTICLES are 500–1000 word submissions by LA-CAMFT members, sponsors, speakers, or recognized experts in their field. Only universal file formats, like Word (.doc and docx.) will be accepted as submissions. If an article is submitted in a “.pages” format, it will be returned to the submitter.
• HYPERLINKS in articles must be individually typed into the body of the article by the writer and must be included at time of submission. It is the responsibility of each writer to “type in” the hyperlink(s) in their own work when the article is submitted. Putting “LIVE LINK” in the body of an article won't work. When multiple links are being included, this must be made clear by the writer as to where each link is to be featured.
• IMAGES: All personal headshots or images must be attached to an email as either a JPEG, PNG or TIF. Images pasted into an email are not acceptable since the quality of such photos is diminished. Any images received in the body of the email may result in delayed publication of the submission.
• AUTHOR TAGLINES: Author taglines are a short paragraph of 50 to 75 words after the end of the article in which the author is identified. It includes the author's full name, pertinent professional credentials, a short business description, and website address with a HYPERLINK. Email addresses and phone numbers are not included — the only exceptions are lacamft.org emails. All taglines are limited to 75 words, MAXIMUM. This word count includes the author's name and website.
• IMAGES OTHER THAN PERSONAL HEADSHOTS. There is an issue about images. When you submit an image other than a personal headshot, you must provide proof of how you obtained that photo. Following is a link that covers the importance of copyright issues, but especially so when it comes to anything “Internet.” (Sued for Copyright Infringement)
• AN ARTICLE MAY CONTAIN:
  • Helpful tips, strategies, analysis, and other specific useful clinical, educational, business or professional marketing or networking information.
  • A review of literature or arts (reviewer not related to or in business with the creator of the item being reviewed).
• AN ARTICLE MAY NOT CONTAIN:
  • Reference to commercial products or services being sold or distributed by author;
  • Information that is only useful if the author’s book or other materials are purchased
  • Suggestions that the reader attend the author’s workshop, conference or podcast for more information;
  • Any other material that could be construed as an advertisement, rather than an article;
  • Language that could be construed as defamatory, discriminatory, or offensive.