Guest Article

Did You Know That 1 in 6 Newlyweds Are In Interracial Marriages?

Anita Tekchandani, AMFT

If you're a couple’s therapist, there's a strong chance you'll work with intercultural couples at some point in your practice.

I recently interviewed Javan Taherkhani, AMFT, to discuss his experience working with intercultural couples. This topic resonates with me personally, as I’m fascinated by how culture, societal influences, and personal narratives shape relationships.

Javan Taherkhani, AMFT, specializes in helping interracial couples navigate complex cultural differences, similarities, and challenges to improve relational harmony. His approach is grounded in authenticity, and he emphasizes safety and collaboration in the therapeutic process.

Interview with Javan Taherkhani, MA, AMFT
What inspired you to focus on therapy for intercultural couples?

During my practicum training, I was assigned several intercultural couples, and I found the work incredibly rewarding. I enjoyed witnessing their progress in therapy. Initially, my clinical focus was on working with Black males, which remains an area of interest for me.

What are the most common reasons interracial couples seek therapy?

In my experience, these couples typically don't present their racial or cultural differences as the primary issue. Instead, they often come in with the same concerns as other couples—issues like unmet emotional needs or patterns carried over from their families of origin.

Are there any common dynamics or patterns you tend to see?

Yes, the pursuer-distancer dynamic is common. I also frequently notice one partner invalidating or dismissing the other’s experiences. It’s crucial to address and monitor this dynamic early in therapy.

According to Ipsos, 1 in 3 couples argue about money. What financial issues do you see in intercultural relationships?

Often, one partner earns significantly more than the other, leading to resentment—especially if they also handle most of the household financial responsibilities. This pattern can stem from a family history where one parent managed all the finances.

It's also important to recognize and process the underlying emotions tied to money. Doing so can motivate both partners to make necessary changes.

Have you encountered cultural differences around money—for example, one partner wanting to support their parents financially, while the other does not?

I haven’t personally encountered this yet, but it’s something I’d approach by exploring each partner’s family-of-origin dynamics and their financial "blueprints." I’d help the couple identify shared values around money and, if needed, discuss options like allocating a specific amount for family support or maintaining separate accounts.

Have issues of power and privilege ever surfaced—for example, when one partner is from a historically marginalized group and the other is from a dominant racial group?

Yes. I worked with a couple where one partner was White and the other Black. The Black partner had internalized trauma from being looked down upon growing up. Living in a predominantly White community, he’s hyperaware of the subtle glances or stares they receive. He wants his partner not just to validate his experiences but to truly understand the nuances of power and privilege. Though his partner tries to be supportive, it often doesn’t feel like enough.

What advice would you offer clinicians interested in working with interracial couples?

I recommend approaching them as you would any couple—unless they bring up race or culture as a concern. Use an attachment-based framework along with other theoretical approaches to guide your work.

Anita Tekchandani, AMFT holds a Master’s in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. Through interviewing therapists, she gains insight and helps readers explore diverse perspectives in mental health. Anita would like to support clients who have experienced financial trauma, challenging workplace dynamics, and unfulfilled careers. Her approach would focus on fostering an internal locus of control and existential values to help clients move toward empowerment and meaningful growth.