LA-CAMFT Special Interest Groups:
We Want to Hear From You!! 

Keep your eye on your inbox in January 2023 for an email from Sandi Bohle, the Chair of LA-CAMFT’s Special Interest Groups (SIG) regarding the SIG Survey.

We are looking to expand our special interest groups. Currently, the Somatic SIG is the most active, and we are in the process of rebooting our LGBTQIA+ and Expressive Arts SIGS.

What would you like to see? What interests you? Would you like to volunteer to be a chair of a SIG?

This is your chance to be heard.

Sandi Bohle, Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, is in private practice in Pasadena, supervised by Douglas Sadownick, Ph.D., LMFT. Specializing in complex trauma, Sandi works from a Psychodynamic approach synthesized with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and EMDR while incorporating humor, play, and somatic modalities to help individuals address the various challenges that life and relationships often bring. Website: sandibohletherapy.com.

LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
Presents:

Black Therapist Support Group

First Saturday of this Month

Next Meeting:
Saturday, January 7, 2023
12:00 pm-1:30 pm (PT)

Online Via Zoom

Black Therapist Support Group

A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space, be the support needed to facilitate that journey.

Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members

First Saturday of Each Month

Location: Zoom Meeting

For more information contact Akiah Robinson Selwa, LMFT at aselwa@sunrisetherapycenter.org.

Event Details: 

For:

Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

Event Details: 
Saturday, January 7, 2023, 12:00 pm-1:30 pm (PT)Time of Check-In: 11:50 am

Where: 
Online Via Zoom

Once you have registered for the presentation, we will email you a link to Zoom a few days before the presentation.

Cost:

No Charge

Online Registration CLOSES on the date of the event.

(Registration is open and available until the group ends.)

Questions about Registration? Contact  Diversity Committee, diversitycommittee@lacamft.org.

Register Here

Does the 10,000 Hour Rule Apply to Writers?

“In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again.”

Daniel Levitin, Neurologist

As a therapist and a writer, I see how this rule can apply to both fields. Clearly, as therapists we have 3,000 hours of internship, with input from experienced supervisors. I can see it taking 10,000 hours to “perfect” one’s abilities as a counselor.

What does this “rule“ mean for writers or screenwriters? Does it take 10,000 hours to become a great writer?

In his book, The Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell discusses what he called “The 10,000 Hour Rule.” According to the rule, no matter what field you’re in, long hours, days and even years are required for you to master your craft. To clarify, just putting in the hours does not guarantee you will be a success. Also, the depth and quality of your practice and the feedback you get on your work can speed up the process.

Gladwell writes about The Beatles and Bill Gates. He asks how they became the best in their fields? What did they have in common? His answer? He theorizes that the people who rise to those levels have all spent long, long hours preparing, practicing, and mastering their own disciplines.

The Beatles started out in 1960, playing in Hamburg, Germany. However, they weren’t very well received. They spent years rehearsing and played long hours in German night clubs. By 1964, when they finally did become international sensations, The Beatles had played over 1,200 concerts together.

Bill Gates met Paul Allen, his friend and future business partner, in high school. They were just kids when they started writing computer code. That was 1968. By the time Gates dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft with Allen, he’d logged way, way over 10,000 hours.

What about screenwriters like Diablo Cody? You hear about “first time” screenwriters like her, who are discovered out of the blue, and called “overnight sensations.” Cody was 28 when her screenplay Juno was produced and became a hit film. It was nominated for four Academy Awards, and won her an Oscar for Best Screenplay.

Most award-winning screenwriters have a long track record of both failures and success. They’ve been able to hone their craft over the years. They've done endless rewrites on scripts in the development process and on movie sets. They've learned from their mistakes, so they've had thousands of hours to perfect their craft. Fine.

So, when someone like Cody wins an Oscar for what people are calling her “first screenplay,” does that prove Gladwell’s theory is wrong?

Consider this: people assumed she just started writing, and thousands of writers thought they, too, could become overnight sensations. The truth is Cody had been writing poetry, short stories, journaling, and even blogging, for most of her life. She started at 12.

In fact, ten years before Juno was written, she was promoting a novel on The Late Show with David Letterman. She clearly exceeded her 10,000 hours.

How long is that many hours in years? If you wrote for three hours a day, it would take about ten years. This is why the kids who started at 12 have an edge. That’s a lot of time. Does that mean you have to wait ten years to see success as a writer? No. But it does suggest you’re going to need a few years of practice. Most MFA Screenwriting programs run about two to three years.

You can’t always wait ten years to get paid to write, especially if you’re just starting out of college. That’s why I recommend writing plays, novels, short stories, or even nonfiction to start out. Get them published or produced. Write Indy shorts, or features. When you get to see your work produced, it’s a huge encouragement.

You need to be good, but you don’t need to have 10,000 hours of practice to work on a TV writing staff. It’s expected that you’ll learn and grow writing episodes, with a staff full of writers to learn from. I can't imagine a better place to perfect your craft, while earning a lot of money, than writing for television.

Let’s say you're good at writing jokes. You get a job on a late night talk show writing jokes. After a few years, you get really, really, good at it. You can count those hours. 5,000 hours writing for Conan or Jimmy Kimmel will get you closer to becoming a successful comedy writer.

A good example—a lot of the Simpsons' writers started out spending a few years writing for David Letterman. Another large segment of Simpsons' writers started out writing for the Harvard Lampoon. The hours writing for a humor magazine or a talk show will definitely help get you closer to the hours needed to master your craft.

Getting paid to learn and practice doing what you love to do is the best scenario possible. I can’t recommend that road highly enough.

Can anything speed the process? Whereas practice matters, I think experience is better. You can call it a "feedback loop." Getting feedback in the form of notes from qualified individuals and making corrections can accelerate your learning. The same goes for seeing your work in rehearsals or table reads, and doing rewrites.

So more hours of practice will help you, but practice with feedback will help you more.

David Silverman, LMFT, treats anxiety and depression, especially in highly sensitive individuals in his LA practice. Having experienced the rejection, stress, creative blocks, paralyzing perfectionism, and career reversals over a 25 year career as a Film/TV writer, he’s uniquely suited to work with gifted, creative, and sensitive clients experiencing anxiety, depression, and addiction. David received training at Stanford and Antioch, is fully EMDR certified, and works with programs treating Victims of Crime and Problem Gamblers. Visit www.DavidSilvermanLMFT.com.

You’re Wearing Your Thinking

“Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye—and deny it.”

                           — Garrison Keillor  

It’s the Law of Attraction, Not the Law of Abracadabra. 

I love affirmations and believe in the Law of Attraction. When you focus on the positive every day, it seeps into your being. You look happier, you stand taller, you smile more often.  

But it’s not going to work unless you combine it with the Law of Action and take some positive steps to accomplish your goals. After all, how many affirmations would you have to say in front of a piano before you could play it?  

You see the problem. 

But some people don’t think positive thinking works at all. A woman posted this comment about affirmations on my blog: 

“Oh, Chellie. Right off the bat you’ve hit my “this will never work” button. When saying this affirmation, all I can think about is the lack I’ve had in my life since childhood. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna say it, but this will truly be a “fake it, ’til you make it” affirmation for me!” 

Ah, yes, “Fake it ‘til you make it”, that great old show biz adage. Well, I’m here to tell you it works. And here’s why: 

You’re wearing your thinking. 

You wear your thoughts like you wear clothes. Your thinking shows up on your face and in your body language and in your energy.  

You are projecting joy, success, and prosperity or you are projecting misery, failure, and poverty. And all points in between.  

People can see it and they can feel it. They respond, consciously and unconsciously, to the thoughts you project. 

I explained this once on a radio show in Billings, Montana, when my book, The Wealthy Spirit, was first released. The interviewer was Tommy B, and the call letters of the radio station were KBUL. I pictured him as a skeptical guy in a cowboy hat and boots, and didn’t think he was going to be wildly enthusiastic about New Agey affirmations. 

I was right. The first thing Tommy said after he introduced me was “I have to tell you I am a skeptic. You aren’t going to tell me that saying some silly positive phrases is going to make me more money, are you?” 

“Well, yes, Tommy, I am,” I said. 

“Okay,” he said, sounding perfectly delighted to have some controversy, “You are going to have to explain how that works.” 

“It’s really quite logical,” I explained. “For example, let’s say a friend of yours walks into your house and he’s really angry about something. Can you tell he’s angry before he says so?” 

“Yes,” replied Tommy.   

“Well, he looks happy.” 

“Yes—because you’re wearing your thinking. Your emotional state is reflected in your body language and on your face.” 

“I guess that’s true,” said Tommy. “But how is that going to make me more money?” 

“Wait and I’ll explain,” I said. “Do you network in the community to promote your radio show? Do you go to Chamber of Commerce, Rotary Club, and other business or trade associations meetings?” 

“Oh, sure,” he replied. “I go to things like that all the time.” 

“When you’re there, do you notice that some people look happy and successful, and other people look angry and complaining?” 

“Yes,” chuckled Tommy.   

“And, in addition to promoting yourself, do you sometimes hire the people you meet to provide products or services for you? To design or print your business cards, or sell you stationery supplies, or provide your insurance?” 

“Yes.” 

“So do you hire the people who look happy and successful, or do you hire the people who look angry and complaining? 

“I hire the people who look happy and successful,” he replied. 

“Why?” 

“Because if they look happy and successful, I expect they will do a good job. It will be a pleasure working with them and there won’t be any problems.” 

“Exactly,” I said. “That is why positive thinking works. You repeat positive statements to yourself in order to talk yourself into a happy, successful feeling. That feeling is going to show on your face and in your body language. People will look at your smiling face, hear the smile in your voice, and see you as successful. Whether you are or not! In show business they say to “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Positive thinkers are using that principle in daily life. Act joyful and successful every day, and more people will hire you and be willing to pay you top dollar. Soon you’ll find you aren’t acting anymore. You’ll actually be successful. And happy. And rich.” 

“Oh,” exclaimed Tommy. “I never thought about it like that.”  

We’re all wearing our thinking, and other people can tell what it is. So do you want to be wearing prosperity or poverty? 

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and most recently From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She is widely quoted in major media including Redbook, Good Housekeeping and more than 50 popular books. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years. Her website is www.chellie.com.

LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color Mentorship Program: Call for Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentors

During our “Anti-Racism as a Movement, Not a Moment” Roundtable in August 2020, we came together as a therapeutic community to discuss and address racism and discrimination. We collaborated on what LA-CAMFT can do to be an actively and overtly anti-racist community. We specifically identified needed supports that we as therapists of color and as a therapeutic community wanted to see provided. One of the many needed supports identified was a Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program.

In January 2021 a group of students, associates and licensed therapists of color formed the Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program Committee and met on a monthly basis to discuss and begin the creation of this program. The committee spent quality time on the purpose statement, guidelines, interest form, marketing, launch date, and more. The development of the program are the contributions of the following committee participants: Akiah Selwa, Destiny Campron, Jenni Villegas Wilson, Leanne Nettles, Lucy Sladek, Maisha Gainer, Matthew Fernandez, Nehemiah Campbell, Perla Hollow, Rachell Alger, Raven Barrow, Stara Shakti, and Tina Cacho Sakai.

The LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program exists to help address inequities experienced by professional mental health therapists of color and intersections with other historically marginalized groups. The first of its kind amongst CAMFT chapters, LA-CAMFT is committed to ensuring quality mentorship for therapists of color by therapists of color. The mentorship program is intended to help bridge the gap of identifying and creating opportunities for growth and advancement in the field, guide clinicians across various stages of professional development, increase accessibility and sustainability in the field, and assist therapists of color to confidently provide services from their culturally authentic self.  

At this time, we are Calling for Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentors who are committed to this mission and more:

• Qualifications: Licensed in the State of CA (LMFT, LCSW, LPCC, PSYD, etc) 
• Commitment: 6 to 12 months with the option to continue independently.
• Frequency: 1x per month or mutually agreed-upon schedule of meetings, which may occur via phone, virtual platform, email exchanges, or face-to-face meetings.
• Types of Mentorship Relationships: 1-on-1 and/or group mentorship (your choice) .
• Mentors do not need to be LA-CAMFT Members. 

Here are some of the many rewards for being a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor:

• Guide, teach, and inspire the next generation of TOC mental health professionals.
• Establish and promote a culture of support within our profession.
• Build intergenerational relationships.
• Contribute to new developments in the field.
• Receive LA-CAMFT benefits for volunteering your time, knowledge and wisdom. 

If you are interested in becoming a Therapist of Color (TOC) Mentor, would like to receive more information and/or receive the Interest Form, reach out to us at tocmentorshipprogram@lacamft.org. 

With Gratitude and Solidarity, 

LA-CAMFT Therapists of Color (TOC) Mentorship Program Committee

How We Can Help Clients in Toxic Relationships

As a therapist specializing in anxiety and relationships, I often have clients who are in relationships that are emotionally abusive. Initially they seek to improve these relationships. Their question often is, “What can I do to have the healthy relationship I want to have?”

My first goal is to help my client understand that the treatment they are getting from their partner is not about them, that there is nothing they are doing to deserve this, and nothing they can do to change the way the other person behaves.

Research has shown that one of the defining characteristics of women who leave physically abusive relationships is that they understand that they cannot control their partner’s behavior. This is also true for emotionally abusive relationships.

First, we explore their family of origin stories. Nearly always there is a history of a primary attachment figure giving them the message that they aren’t good enough. They aren’t lovable just as they are; they need to earn love.

This early message is a setup for future toxic relationships.

I once had a client I’ll call Jane, who I initially suspected had Borderline Personality Disorder. Soon I learned of her upbringing in a family that consistently, but intermittently, gave her messages that she was a terrible person. Her mother would mostly berate her and call her names, but occasionally she would try to connect to Jane in a more loving way—and Jane was always hoping for another of these moments.

Research shows that intermittent rewards are the most compelling, and when the intermittent reward is the love of your primary attachment figure, it can be one of the most compelling rewards of all. My client had fully absorbed the lesson that she didn’t deserve to be treated with love and kindness, but that sometimes, if she was really “good,” she could feel loved.

It is no surprise, then, that most of Jane’s relationships reflected these beliefs about herself. She came to me to help her with a particularly toxic relationship with a guy who would act as if they were in a relationship, and then would send her long text messages telling her that all he really wanted from her was sex—and that he actually wanted a relationship with someone else. This happened repeatedly over a period of years.

The thing is, Jane just couldn’t get herself to just walk away from this man, and she couldn’t understand why she needed so badly for him to tell her he cared about her.

Why couldn’t she leave?

His degrading text messages had caused her to lash out in hurt and anger. He told her that it was her angry messages that showed she was “crazy”, and that was why he could never be in a real relationship with her; it was her fault. He would be with her if she weren’t crazy. She was hooked.

Her history with her mom made his hurtful messages seem credible. Isn’t this what love feels like? This message was painful, but it was familiar.

Reid Wilson, PhD, Director of the Anxiety Disorders Treatment Center in Chapel Hill, can help us understand how we can use this dynamic to heal our clients. Dr. Wilson helps his clients learn to welcome anxiety into their lives, and then “work to give their amygdala a different message.” He tells them, “You want to step into a safe but reasonable facsimile of the trauma, and let your amygdala hang out.”

In this same way, we can help our clients heal their early attachment trauma by using these toxic relationships. We can help them have the same experience— being told they are unlovable—and have a different outcome. We can help them train their brains to know that this message is not the truth—they are lovable, and they deserve to be around others who believe this also.

So how do we do this?

1. Psycho-education
   It is important that the client understand why they are stuck in this relationship. People who are in toxic relationships not only believe they deserve it, but they also castigate themselves for not being able to leave the relationship once they realize how toxic it is. Explaining this dynamic, how common it is, and why their personal history makes it so compelling, can help them build empathy for themselves.
2. Visualization
   I have my clients practice visualizing the relationship they would like to have, without putting a specific person in the picture. They focus on how this relationship would make them feel. I use EMDR tapping and sometimes also resourcing along with these visualizations. Therapists who are trained in other modalities like somatic experiencing or hypnosis can use these methods as well.
3. CBT
   My client and I address the thoughts that are the automatic responses to interactions with the toxic person. “He must be right, I do feel crazy,” or “He must be right, no one could love someone like me who lashes out like that.” I help them become aware of these thoughts, and then challenge them with other thoughts like, “No matter how I respond, no one deserves to be treated like this” and “I am capable of a loving relationship if the other person is kind to me”.

Dan Siegel, M.D., tells us that “The power to direct our attention has the power to shape the brain’s firing patterns, as well as the power to shape the architecture of the brain itself.”

By building awareness and challenging the thoughts, we can change the automaticity of these thoughts, and that can make all the difference.

I have seen many clients extricate themselves from toxic relationships. It’s a process, and along the way they learn to love themselves for who they are. Most of these clients make significant changes in their relationship with their attachment figures as well. After practicing experiencing the feelings they want to have in a loving and supportive relationship, many go on to create that healthy experience in their next serious relationship.

Amy McManus, LMFT, helps anxious young adults build healthy new relationships with themselves and others after a breakup. Amy’s blog, “Life Hacks,” offers practical tips for thriving in today’s crazy plugged-in world. Learn more about Amy from her website www.thrivetherapyla.com.

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee

Voices Publication Guidelines for 2023

Calling all community writers and contributors!

Are you searching for a unique platform to express your passions and showcase your expertise in the Marriage and Family Therapy field? Look no further, as we welcome your input!

Following are the due dates and publication guidelines for submitting articles and ads for the 2023 calendar year to Voices, LA-CAMFT's monthly newsletter:

Upcoming Voices Newsletters	Submission Deadlines
March	February 1
April	March 1
May	April 1
June	May 1
July	June 1
August	July 1
September	August 1
October	September 1
November	October 1
December	November 1

 

 

LA-CAMFT Publishing Guidelines for Voices

• All submissions are DUE by the 1ST of each month.
  • Around the 15th of each month, you will receive the editor’s call for articles for the next edition of VOICES.
  • This editor’s call will allow contributors to have up to 2 weeks to put together all the material for submission by the 1st of the month.
  • Around the 25th of each month, you will receive the editor’s second and last call for articles, reminding contributors to submit completed articles by the first should they wish to be included in VOICES.
  • In this last call for submissions, the editor will include a list of the content planned for the next edition of VOICES. This editorial list will note submissions received as well as submissions expected but not yet received and which must be received by the 1st in order to be included.
  • Any submissions received after the 1st, will be included in the following month's edition of VOICES.
• ARTICLES are 500–1000 word submissions by LA-CAMFT members, sponsors, speakers, or recognized experts in their field. Only universal file formats, like Word (.doc and docx.) will be accepted as submissions. If an article is submitted in a “.pages” format, it will be returned to the submitter.
• HYPERLINKS in articles must be individually typed into the body of the article by the writer and must be included at time of submission. It is the responsibility of each writer to “type in” the hyperlink(s) in their own work when the article is submitted. Putting “LIVE LINK” in the body of an article won't work. When multiple links are being included, this must be made clear by the writer as to where each link is to be featured.
• IMAGES: All personal headshots or images must be attached to an email as either a JPEG, PNG or TIF. Images pasted into an email are not acceptable since the quality of such photos is diminished. Any images received in the body of the email may result in delayed publication of the submission.
• AUTHOR TAGLINES: Author taglines are a short paragraph of 50 to 75 words after the end of the article in which the author is identified. It includes the author's full name, pertinent professional credentials, a short business description, and website address with a HYPERLINK. Email addresses and phone numbers are not included — the only exceptions are lacamft.org emails. All taglines are limited to 75 words, MAXIMUM. This word count includes the author's name and website.
• IMAGES OTHER THAN PERSONAL HEADSHOTS. There is an issue about images. When you submit an image other than a personal headshot, you must provide proof of how you obtained that photo. Following is a link that covers the importance of copyright issues, but especially so when it comes to anything “Internet.” (Sued for Copyright Infringement)
• AN ARTICLE MAY CONTAIN:
  • Helpful tips, strategies, analysis, and other specific useful clinical, educational, business or professional marketing or networking information.
  • A review of literature or arts (reviewer not related to or in business with the creator of the item being reviewed).
• AN ARTICLE MAY NOT CONTAIN:
  • Reference to commercial products or services being sold or distributed by author;
  • Information that is only useful if the author’s book or other materials are purchased
  • Suggestions that the reader attend the author’s workshop, conference or podcast for more information;
  • Any other material that could be construed as an advertisement, rather than an article;
  • Language that could be construed as defamatory, discriminatory, or offensive.