Resources to Help Your Clients Through Their Divorce

It’s the beginning of a new year so many of our clients will be contemplating divorce. Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging, destabilizing experiences that most people will ever face. Unfortunately, this means that most of our clients ‘react’ based on their strong emotions (often, very negative emotions) rather than ‘responding’ to this crisis in a way that protects their children and sets them up to move on with their life as quickly as possible.

This is why it is so important to have both the guidance and support of a therapist as well as relevant and effective resources during this critical time. Whether it is a good book to help children understand and process the changes that are happening or a helpful online resource to explain the divorce process, the right resources can make all the difference for clients experiencing the upheaval of divorce (and many times even more so for their children). Having relevant information will help clients:

1. Manage their anxiety by helping them understand the divorce process and the options available to them. By lowering their stress level, clients are more likely to make good decisions for them and their children by focusing on what will be best for them in the long run.
2. Keep their focus on their children rather than on strong negative emotions towards their spouse.
3. Engage in the process in a much more constructive manner in order to avoid a nasty court battle (which averages ~ $150,000 in attorney’s fees and generally last anywhere between 2 – 3 years).

This is why it's so important for therapists to be informed about the helpful resources available to support their clients during the divorce process. Below are some of the best resources available for both parents and children.

Websites for Parents

1. Up to Parents
   An interactive website that helps parents focus on their children’s well-being in a very practical manner by helping them understand how their decisions impact their children.
2. Parents’ Guide to Helping Children through Divorce 
   Ideas for parents to help their children deal with divorce more productively.
3. Divorce Care 
   Listing of church-based support groups for both parents and children.
4. Divorce Net
   Basic information and understanding about the divorce process.

Websites for Children

1. Sesame Street
   Several videos, FAQs, a booklet and a smartphone app to help young children understand and deal with divorce.
2. Families Change 
   Comprehensive site with separate sections for kids (animated), teenagers and parents with practical, age-appropriate advice for divorce.

Books for Children

1. Two Homes by Claire Masurel
   For young children.
2. Divorce Is Not the End of the World: Zoe’s & Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids by Zoe and Evan Stern
   For older children and teenagers, this book is written by two children, Zoe and Evan.
3. A Smart Girl’s Guide to Her Parents’ Divorce by Nancy Holyoke
   For teenage girls.

Books for Parents

1. The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons
2. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way by M. Gary Neuman
3. The Truth about Children and Divorce by Robert E. Emery

Helpful Information Sheets and Handouts

1. Talking with Children about Divorce 
2. Advice from Adult Children of Divorced Parents

Barry Davis, Divorce Mediator, Founder of Davis Mediation, has been helping clients get through the divorce process in the most amicable, affordable manner possible for 16 years. His passion is keeping children out of the middle of divorce so they can grow up healthy. As a divorce mediator, Barry holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology and Conflict Management and has served on the Torrance Family Court and Second Appellate District mediation panels. For more information and resources, visit www.DavisMediation.com or Davis Divorce Mediation’s YouTube Channel.