Member Article

Meetups Gathering—Our "Self-Love Sunday"

Sahaja Douglass, LMFT

In her book, The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker writes, “the first step in convening people meaningfully: meaningfully: committing to a bold, sharp purpose.” Last year, when LA-CAMFT’s Meetups Committee formed, we created a clear purpose: to host intimate, fun, low-cost gatherings for mental health professionals that built a nourishing community. We felt there was a communal yearning for social connection, meaningful conversations, and opportunities to nurture ourselves. These gatherings would differ from LA-CAMFT’s other events that offer education or networking as primary goals.

So, with a “bold, sharp purpose” in mind, the hosts of the most recent Meetups gathering, set out to design an event that would focus on self-appreciation and we named it “Self-Love Sunday” since the date fell just after Valentine’s Day. 

The event featured a cookie swap and SoulCollage(R) activity, facilitated by LA-CAMFT’s president, Akiah Selwa Robinson. The event was hosted by myself, Sahaja Douglass, LMFT; Akiah Selwa Robinson, LMFT; Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT; Kim MacKay, LCSW; and Elizabeth G’Sell, LMFT. Support was graciously provided by other members of the Meetups Committee, LA-CAMFT Board members and volunteers.

This post-Valentine’s Day event sold out days before the sign-up deadline. On Sunday, February 16, 45 adventurous guests wound their way up a steep and windy canyon road to arrive at Sahaja Douglass’s home which is flanked by Oak groves and opens up to vistas of the Santa Monica mountains in the back yard.

Guests gathered in the back yard and were offered the option to anoint themselves by applying organic essential oil blends that were hand-poured for the occasion. The intention behind this offering was to create a sense of leaving the outside world behind— a fun, spa-like initiation into the community we were forming for an afternoon. After the optional aromatic wrist dabbing, everyone put their cookies on long tables and were invited to help themselves to the home-cooked buffet lunch and sit at round tables on the lawn. Conversation flowed and people wove new connections.

During lunch, Sahaja Douglass, welcomed all and Kiah talked about the origin of SoulCollage(R), and how this method of making collages from images in magazines that resonate with us can help us develop creativity and intuition, encourages self-discovery, and provides personal guidance. The cards we create can act as guides for us.

When the group finished eating, Kiah invited everyone to grab glue sticks, scissors, card stock and magazines from a table in the yard and find a comfortable place to work anywhere on the property or in various rooms inside the house.

We were given only 15 minutes to craft our collages and then we gathered in small groups of 4 or 5 people to share our cards and answer questions we ask of the images on the card, beginning with, “I am one who…”.

We were instructed to listen attentively, but also not to interpret anyone else’s collage and only give feedback that was solicited by the person sharing. 

In my group, people expressed themselves openly and vulnerably. The cards allowed for depth and introspection. Sometimes, people were surprised by what their own cards revealed.

When the small groups finished sharing we all came together in one large group in the living room.

We stood in a circle and held up our cards so everyone could witness and honor each other.  Kiah talked more about the resonance of SoulCollage(R) and also about LA-CAMFT. She invited people to become involved by joining committees, volunteering at our events or even starting a Special Interest Group(SIG) that LA-CAMFT could host on-line and promote through our emails and newsletter.

As the Chair of the Meetups Committee, Sahaja Douglass, encouraged guests to become hosts of a Meetups event—the committee was designed to allow for any LA-CAMFT member to host an event that is approved by the LA-CAMFT Board of Directors.  

Sahaja Douglass thanked everyone for attending and for sharing their beautiful hearts and then passed around a basket that had gifts for everyone: a card with a heart-shaped stone attached to it and a small vial of an essential oil blend that was created just for the Self-Care Sunday participants.

It was a magical day. I noticed people exchanging contact information so hopefully the seeds of new connections will grow into supportive friendships.

If you have an idea for a Meetups event or want to host one, please email Sahaja@SahajaPsychotherapy.com

Sahaja Douglass, LMFT works with clients in-person in her Woodland Hills office and on-line. Most of Sahaja's clients are ADHDers, and parents of neurodivergent children. She co-facilitates a grief support group at Our House Grief Support Center, and is on the Membership Committee for LA County Psychological Association. When not working or volunteering, Sahaja spends time with family and friends—hiking in the local mountains, swimming, cooking or snuggling with her giant sized dogs. Website: www.SahajaPsychotherapy.com

Guest Article

The Spiritual Art of Making Money

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert

"A person will be called upon to account, on Judgment Day, for all permitted pleasures he might have enjoyed but did not." -The Talmud

Don’t you just love the idea that you will have to answer for it if you don’t enjoy your life? I love picturing God asking me, “Did you have all the fun you could have had, young lady?”

The Buddhists say that before enlightenment you chop wood and carry water, and after enlightenment you chop wood and carry water. In the Sufi stories, I noticed that often after a disciple became enlightened, he became a merchant. He would sell goods, provide value, receive value, and live simply.  

The truth is simple: Life is rich and wonderful, and the more we appreciate it, the happier we get. You have to be happy now—you can’t wait until your goals are achieved. The moment of achievement only lasts a moment. Then there’s always another goal, another game to win, another vacation to take, another dollar to earn. Revel in the daily wins, the little joys, and you will be happy every day. 

Time magazine, in an article on happiness, stated that often happiness was based on comparison to others. If you have a 3-bedroom house and your neighbors have 2-bedroom houses, you’re happy. But if you have a 3-bedroom house and everyone around you has 4 bedrooms, you’re not.  

That’s only the viewpoint from the neighborhood, though, not the viewpoint from the stars. On the Cosmic Scale, there will always be people who have more bedrooms and those who have fewer bedrooms. And there will be people with no bedrooms at all.  

Which end of the scale are you going to focus your attention on? Are you going to look down the scale and feel rich like a Zillionaire or up the scale and feel poor like a Zero? Are you going to look up the scale and be a bitter and envious Angry Tuna? Or look down the scale, feel guilty and burn your own bedroom down because someone else doesn’t have one, like a Victim Tuna? Comparisons can inspire you to do better, or defeat you, depending on how you view it. 

I heard a story about two farmers who lived next to each other. One farmer had a beautiful cow, and the other farmer didn’t have a cow.   

One day, God appeared to the farmer without a cow and said, “I will grant you one wish. Today, you can have anything you desire. What do you want?” 

The farmer said, “Kill my neighbor’s cow.” 

Isn’t that sad? He didn’t wish for a better cow, or two cows, or a herd of cows. His wish was for his neighbor to be brought low. He wanted equality with his neighbor, but equality in his limited view meant they both were poorer instead of both being richer. 

That’s Angry Tuna thinking. A Shark might say, “Kill my neighbor’s cow and give me ten cows.” But he’s creating another Angry Shark on the other side of the fence who’s going to want to retaliate. So now both farmers spend all their time, energy, and money on War Machinery to kill each other’s cows. It’s Zero thinking in a zero-sum game.   

Zillionaire farmers would get together and find a way to build a herd of cows—enough for each of them, with a surplus to share.

In A Zillionaire World Everyone’s Win is Your Win

At each meeting of WRS (Women’s Referral Service) one of my networking groups, we share with the others at our table about a topic of the day. Whenever the topic is “Tell about your greatest business success,” I have noted with interest that people rarely focus on the award they won or the big contract they got. They don’t talk about the fame, glory, raises, promotions, or prizes they won.  

They talk about what they helped others win. One after the other, with glowing smiles, each person mentions a particular client that they helped to solve a problem or gain a cherished desire. Their faces shine as they tell their favorite story of the client they helped to win a $7 million contract, or the client they helped overcome their fear of public speaking who got a standing ovation.  

The energy of that joy permeates the room, and I feel it at all the tables in the room. People who can revel in other people’s happiness are the biggest winners in life. They’re winning vicariously all the time—it’s a constant adrenaline happiness rush.   

That is the gift that keeps giving to you: When you help others, their win is your win. Their success is your success; their happiness your happiness. When someone in my workshop walks into class excited over the good fortune that they just can’t believe happened to them, their excitement and joy spills into me and it is mine as completely as it is theirs.  

When I attended the Worthwhile Referral Sources Annual Awards banquet one year, I clapped loudly for all my friends who won. When one gentleman came up to me afterwards and said, “Sorry you didn’t win anything this year, Chellie,” I looked at him in astonishment. “Four out of five of the top winners thanked me from the podium and said I helped them get where they were. I think I’m the biggest winner in the room!”  

To know this joy is why teachers teach, and why parents are proud of their children. Because giving an assist is just as valuable as scoring points in the game themselves. Touchdowns are made by teams, not individuals. The quarterback throws the ball, but he has to have a receiver. 

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Just as a fellow human being, I participated in his adventure; I stood outside my house where I could see the TV and the moon in the sky at the same time. I watched him take that “one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Yes, yes, me too, Neil! I’m there with you! My taxes helped build your ship. Your win is my win. Send out spaceships. 

Take time to savor your achievements and celebrate those of the others around you. Bask in the glory, then relax and enjoy the day. Warm in the sunshine, chart the path of raindrops, learn from a book, channel surf the TV, listen to a teacher, marvel at a painting, ponder a philosophy, enjoy a movie, a comedian or a play. Have dinner with a friend, join a sports team, indulge in a hobby. Walk on the beach. Invite someone else to walk on the beach with you. Feel blessed. Feel rich. Every day you do this is living a rich life.

Do you have the feeling you could be richer and happier? When would you like to do it?

Are you ready to take action now?

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.

LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

presents

White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR)

Third Sunday of Every Month

Next Meeting:
Sunday, April 20, 2025
3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)

Online Via Zoom

The goal of White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR) is for white-identified therapists to become effective allies in support of decolonization and racial justice in our clinical practice, therapy association, and community. Recognizing that racism is maintained when whiteness is invisible to white people, WTFR provides a forum for white-identified therapists to explore what it means to be white. While this process includes learning about structural racism and deconstructing the false narrative about race, a primary focus in the group is on doing inner work.

How Do I Join? To join this group, please click here to complete our online submission form. Once submitted, a group facilitator will reach out to you for next steps.

Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

For more information or if you have additional questions, please send all inquiries to the facilitators at WTFR@lacamft.org.

Event Details:

For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

When: Sunday, April 20, 2025 from 3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)

Where: Online Via Zoom (Once you complete the online submission process, you will be emailed a monthly Zoom link.)

Cost: No charge

Facilitator(s): Estelle, Randi, and Hazel

Member Article

Rediscovering Your Identity After Divorce

Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

New Year, New You: Rediscovering Your Identity After Divorce

​Divorce has a way of making us question who we are. It strips away the familiar labels—spouse, partner, “we”—and leaves behnd a quiet, often unsettling question: Who am I now?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Divorce is more than a legal separation; it’s a journey of rediscovering yourself. But how do you begin to move forward when you feel like pieces of your identity are missing?

The Problem: Feeling Lost After Divorce

Divorce is a seismic shift that can leave you feeling unmoored, shaking the foundation of your life in ways you never expected.

You’ve lost the shared routines, mutual goals, and social circles that once defined your married life. While the world may label you as “divorced,” the reality of rebuilding your life is far more complex than any single word can capture.

Inside, the uncertainty runs even deeper. Questions swirl in your mind: Am I enough? Can I do this alone? The weight of self-doubt can feel overwhelming, making it hard to envision a fulfilling future.

Adding to this is a deep sense of injustice. It feels profoundly unfair that something as painful as divorce could strip you of your sense of self. Why should starting over come with so much heartache?

But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to stay this way. There is a path to rediscovery and growth—a way to reclaim your identity and confidently step into the next chapter of your life.

5 Steps to Rediscovering Your Identity After Divorce

As a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience, I’ve worked with countless individuals who have felt lost, uncertain, and stuck. I’m here to tell you that rediscovering yourself after divorce is possible. You deserve to feel whole again, and I’m here to help you take the first steps toward that goal.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Loss

Before moving forward, it’s important to recognize and process what you’ve lost. Take time to grieve the end of your marriage, but also honor the person you were in that relationship. Journaling or speaking with a therapist can help you unpack those emotions, making space for the new version of yourself to emerge.

Step 2: Revisit Your Passions

What brought you joy before your marriage? Was it painting, hiking, or volunteering? Reconnecting with hobbies or passions from your past can be a powerful way to rediscover who you are. Start small and build from there—you’ll be amazed at how these activities can reignite your sense of self.

Step 3: Set New Goals

Your future is a blank canvas. Take this opportunity to set goals that excite you. Whether it’s learning a new skill, pursuing a career change, or traveling somewhere new, creating a roadmap for your future helps shift the focus from what you’ve lost to what lies ahead.

Step 4: Build a Support Network

Rediscovering yourself doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. This might mean deepening existing friendships or seeking out new communities that align with your interests and values.

Step 5: Consider Mediation for a Smoother Transition

Divorce mediation isn’t just about resolving conflicts; it’s about creating a foundation for your new life. As a mediator, I work to ensure the process is respectful and collaborative, reducing emotional strain and helping you focus on the future. Mediation offers clarity and control, allowing you to start the next chapter with confidence and dignity.

Take the Next Step

You might think, “This all sounds good, but I don’t know where to start.” That’s natural—taking the first step after divorce can feel overwhelming. But you don’t have to do it alone. With guidance, support, and the right tools, you can begin the process of rediscovery.

This New Year can mark the beginning of a fresh chapter. Imagine looking in the mirror a year from now and seeing a confident, fulfilled version of yourself. It starts with a single step.

Let’s make this year the one where you reclaim your identity and embrace the possibilities ahead.

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com.

Guest Article

Exploring Menopause: Insights from The New Menopause by Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Kim Scott, LMFT

Did you know that a significant percentage of women experience cognitive and/or emotional symptoms during the menopause transition?  Some experts in the field believe this number to be as high as 70% (Dr Theodora Kalentzi, a GP and menopause specialist at Medical Prime).  And, an analysis published by Harvard Medical School (July 2024 in the Journal of Affective Disorders) found that women going through perimenopause are 40% more likely to experience symptoms of depression.  Considering the vast number of women experiencing mental health symptoms during this phase of life, which often begins in a woman’s 40s, it is imperative that as therapists we understand how these hormonal changes are impacting our clients’ lives and relationships.

I recently read The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power, and Facts by Mary Claire Haver, MD, to deepen my understanding of the challenges many of my clients face. Published in 2024, Dr. Haver’s book offers a thoughtful exploration of the history, science, and societal perceptions of menopause.

Historically, women’s health concerns—including menopause—have often been marginalized or misunderstood. Dr. Haver addresses this gap by providing a thorough and compassionate explanation of menopause while dispelling harmful myths, such as the dismissive notion that it’s “all in a woman’s head.”

Her book outlines the three distinct phases of menopause:

1. Perimenopause: Often starting in a woman’s 40s (although it can begin as early as the mid-30s), is characterized by fluctuating hormones and irregular periods.
2. Menopause: Defined as 12 consecutive months without a menstrual cycle, is a specific moment in time. Most women experience menopause between the ages of 45 and 55.
3. Post menopause: This phase begins after menopause and can last for years. Hormonal shifts may lead to symptoms persisting or evolving, often peaking during this time.

Dr. Haver also delves into the history and evolving research on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), clarifying its potential benefits and risks. While HRT isn’t within the scope of mental health providers to prescribe or recommend, being informed about it allows us to guide clients in conversations with their physicians.

Why Therapists Should Understand Menopause

In reading The New Menopause, I discovered insights relevant to any therapist working with women aged 40 and older. Perimenopause often begins at this stage of life, bringing physical, emotional, and psychological changes that can significantly impact mental health.

Dr. Haver highlights that menopause significantly increases the risk of mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety, noting that shifts in mood, cognition, and emotional well-being are common. Hormonal fluctuations can cause many symptoms—66, to be exact! These range from hot flashes and sleep disturbances to brain fog, depression, irritability, anxiety, reduced sex drive, TMJ, and chronic fatigue.

Unfortunately, many of these symptoms are dismissed by doctors or attributed to unrelated causes. As therapists, we have the opportunity to normalize these experiences for our clients by exploring where they are in their menstrual life cycle and encouraging conversations with their healthcare providers.

Tools to Support Clients Through Menopause

To better serve clients experiencing perimenopause or menopause-related challenges, I’ve created a checklist in my practice management software. This self-screening tool helps clients identify potential symptoms and can serve as a conversation starter with their doctors. Knowing the symptoms or creating a similar resource could be beneficial for your practice as well.

Moreover, as therapists, we can support clients in several ways:

• Teaching stress management skills.  As we know, stress increases the production of hormones such as Cortisol, which can increase inflammation and lead to a variety of menopause related symptoms, such as anxiety, sleep disturbances, and TMJ.
• Offering couples therapy to help partners understand and navigate these changes together. Mood changes, irritability, reduced sex drive or physical discomfort with intercourse are just a few of the possible symptoms of menopause that can impact a relationship.
• Using CBT techniques for symptoms like depression, hot flashes, irritability, anxiety and sleep issues.
• Recommending daily exercise to optimize restful sleep, reduce anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, and depression.  Some studies have also shown that exercise may reduce the frequency and severity of hot flashes.
• Taking a trauma-informed approach, A particularly striking study, published in Menopause in 2022, revealed a connection between intergenerational trauma and early menopause. This study found that trauma can accelerate the onset of menopause by up to nine years, emphasizing the importance of addressing unresolved trauma in therapy.
• Providing psychoeducation to reduce anxiety and empower clients with knowledge.
• Sharing educational resources like The New Menopause by Dr. Haver, Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagowski, or Dr. Kelly Casperson’s podcast, You Are Not Broken.
• Referring clients to their gynecologists or psychiatrists for discussions about HRT or medications like SSRIs, which have shown efficacy in managing hot flashes for some women.

Dr. Haver’s Menopause Toolkit is another valuable resource featured in this book. It contains practical strategies for understanding and managing symptoms, which can be transformative for clients navigating this phase of life.

By fostering open conversations about menopause and providing tools for emotional and physical wellness, we can empower our clients to navigate this journey with confidence and resilience. Dr. Haver’s work is an excellent reminder of how interconnected the mind and body are, and how vital it is to approach menopause holistically.

Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee